Judge — May 30, 1908 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HER HIGHNESS, THE STEN- OGRAPHER COUNTESS. R. SPOTZ was run- ning his hands through his hair shampoo -wise _be- cause his stenographress had suddenly left, “ Ten dozen letters to get out to-day and no chauffeur. lady to run’ the typewriter! What shall 1 do?” he ex- claimed. Just then a young miss, with kalsomined hair, in a Fluffy-Ruff-house costume, en- tered the office, chewing a popular brand of chewing- gum. , Need. & Kescpancher?” ‘TROUBLES OF ‘THE KICKER was her Sagat Rice thought his ice bill high and wefusad to cote 4 Re di Mr. Spotz bade her have jut he told hie lawyer friend, Stickem, of the disputes and The combined expenses give him cause for medita- achair, Upon investigation, — was advised to “pay ice bill.” he learned that she had caped from Taffy's Big School, where she had learned to talk sten- Spotz began todictate. She did not take down what he hand, for he doubted if she could transeribe her own effort to assist her in punctuation, tion, ography ($7.59 puts you through). The young, lady was lined up in front of the typewriter and Mr, In dictating he mad etter was finished, it read as follows: “Mr. B. A. Gudething, Hotel Dubb, City. “Dear sir: Looking over our leadger comma I notice that in your account don’t abbreviate their is an outstanding eyetem of $14.2 in figures comma witeh I thrust you will remit by return male pa- renthesis as we wish to clothes out all old outstanding accounts period new paragr “beg to call 2 your attention the knew line of european goods we are displaying in our windows and show hyphen case of goods that will a peal to your good taste full stop ne da large Pai n Capitol P consignment tins at fenominally low prices exe saying goes, quotation marks a word to the wise quotes that’s the end of the sentence another ill you not call around two “Trusting to be sti in the passed, I remain “ Very resp. yours"? a. wonTH conwnta Diy) Is SUCH A ‘THING As ‘TOO MUCH ZEAL. pretty how a ary J wifey’s last Well, it can't be THE REASON. a bit with Beatrice and chased around on both of them, I may as well pearly car of Nell, A tale of to Betty and to It I've hit the high and toppy points with Sarah and with Su And swung to subtle symphonies with Prissy and with Pru I've builded castles in the air, assisted, some, by And trolled my moonlight serenades to Dora and to I've sworn eternal constancy to Dolly, Tess, and Fay, And jollied quite a jolly lot with M Ive turned a double trick at hearts + playing whist with Pearl, ptizedd Miss Cynth * Just one little girl! going some! gum! STACY We. BAKER, HE STAYED. “ HAT! ¢ leave us so soon, Thom “Sorry, sir; but 1 must tell you as tow I can’t put up with the A WELI-CHOSEN OCCUPATION ya pealingly), think how \ Wr see zu ‘ y Tommy is sellin’ papers, Mrs. Murphy Ain‘t he young fer it? FOOTBALL fs long F’ve put up with Je is thot, Mes. Casey; but OF hod t jrive hin somethin? Carrying the baw! around the end fora long run. her off th’ shi ‘s. comicbooks.com ~