Judge — May 23, 1908 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HY is it a manicurist is always a woman? W It rained cats and dogs the other day, snd they had veal stew for dinner at the huttel. You kin tell a carpenter by his chips, and, by gravy! you kin tell a poker player the same way. There ain’t no style about some fellers. Abner Hanks, of our town, drives around in his spring wagon until 'way late in the fall. If they ever adopt that elastic currency in this country, I suppose a feller will have plenty of money to buy suspenders with. If there is any job more ticklish than climbin’ through a barb-wire fence, it is that of expressin’ your honest opinion of your wife’s folks. A picture pustal card arrived in our midst from Paris, France, last week, and nineteen citizens have announced their candidacy for postmaster. Mrs, J. Frothingham Butts, our society leader, has sent to New York for some of that pink tea she has read so much about in the society columns. Miss Euphemia Mudge, of our village, says she is in love with her Art; but, by ginger! we ain't been able as yet to find out what Art’s last name is. One difference between a balky hoss and a balky wife is that you can unhitch a balky hoss without hirin’ a lawyer to prove incompatibility of temperature. A young man kin get a highfalutin’ education at Yale or Harvard, but, if he wants to get good hoss sense, the place to go is to some veterinary college. There is a question as to whether the feller that parts his hair in the middle and shows the soft spot in his head is any more of a chump than the feller that parts his hair on the side and covers it up. Silas Plummer says he haz bi eadin’ a book called ‘* Political Economy,"’ but it is all bosh, as there ain’t any such thing as political economy. '* The last time he ran for highway commissioner it cost him ten shillin’. Ansel Jimkey, our tonsorial artist and leader of the band and orchester, busted the G string on his violin the other day, and there will be no more music in this burg until he runs across a stray cat some- Tar a wher The other night, when they had company to dinner, Hod Peters's wife told him that it wasn’t etiquette to set down to the table in his shirt-sleeves; but Hod said he'd be ding swizzled if he was goin’ to take his shirt off, etiquette or no etiquette. AT THE LIARS’ CLUB. AANANIAS had just gotten off one he thought rather good. “That's nothing,’ said the new member. ‘Just before I came here Missis- sippi sent a colored del gate to the Democratic na- tional convention. And amid a sickening silence Ananias unbuckled his championship belt and gave it to the newcomer, LITTL Because a widow lo Like mother, sweetheart Arctic explorer's w John, dear!” love!” Aretic explorer's wife ing. Wanted, dress childri HE LIGHT. nay catch a few of nto my eyes ‘TURN DOWN “Yes, dears if you insist you T admit the ligght is a str: She those firetlies A LITTLE WIDOW. widow now and then Plays havoc with the single men. Houston Post, these men and some then, ANXIOUS FOR HIS HEALTH. Arctic explorer —" Farewell, “And, John, be sure that the ice is perfectly safe."’ JUDGE'S UP-TO-DATE ADS. RESPECTABLE widow desires wash- ‘A servant who can cook and ! WHEN AIRSHIPS REPLAC BARGES. Accident at the annual outing of the Michael J. Bran- nihan association. OUR AMERICAN QUARTER. ITH a gentle allegro-non-troppo movement, the French count descended from the top of the Seeing New York auto and advanced to meet us. “ Well,”” we said blithely, “ what do you think of our village?” “Ah!” he replied, “ze American colony —ze American quarter of ze greatest city in ze world! is supherb! It is ze one grand place! It is exqui- site! But it has ze one fault—it has too many of ze odars, It is fill wiz ze odar of zis thing and wiz ze odar of zat thin fill wiz ze odar of ze rose and wiz ze odar of ze turnip; it is fill wiz ze odar of ze wine and ze quail-on-toast, and wiz ze odar of ze beer and ze goolash. Ah, me! I fear zat ze American quarter has more zan ze twenty-five ’cent!’" EXCURSION * Good-bye, my HIs GREATEST DELIGHT EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT Is a vigorous shampoo with the rich, creamy lather made from Packer's Tar Soap. The cleansing and refreshing sen- sations are immediate; any dandruft is removed; a healthy growth of hair is stimulated, and thus premature baidness Is prevented. PACKER’S TAR SOAP PURE AS THE PINES comicbooks.com