Judge, 1908-05-16 · page 6 of 16
Judge — May 16, 1908 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated satirical pieces typical of early 1900s humor magazines: **Top cartoon ("Shades of Our Fathers")**: A wealthy woman shows a visitor an antique grandfather clock, claiming it's a family heirloom—satirizing how the nouveau riche fabricate aristocratic pedigrees. **"No Hair-Splitting"**: Mocks early automobile regulations. A motorist argues his stationary car shouldn't be ticketed, but a country constable and justice convict him anyway because the running engine made noise—absurdist humor about rural officials misunderstanding new technology. **Other brief pieces** ("Brevity," "Bliss," "Spring Fever," "Fashion," "Those Dollar Watches"): Short anecdotes with modest punchlines about marital mishaps, sales pitches, baseball, social pretension, and cheap watches. The page reflects *Judge*'s style: satirizing new technologies (automobiles), class anxiety, marital discord, and rural-urban cultural gaps. No specific political figures appear; the humor targets universal social follies and contemporary anxieties about modernization.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AISA ET SHADES OF OUR FATHERS! “Yes, duke; that is a family heirloom. Jt was my grandfather's clock.” NO HAIR-SPLITTING. * argues the exasperated automobilist, who has been the country justice, "* you haven't the shadow of a reason for arresting and trying me. Why, man, my machine was standing stock still. Absolutely motionless! en the constable will tell you that.”” “The automobull was a-standin’ still all right,"’ acknowledges the constable, ** but its eng was runnin’ full blast, an’ it sounded. just like they do when they go forty miles a hour. “But my machine was not moving! Judge, this is prepos “The evidence is all against you," coldly decides the justice. “ Twenty dollars and costs. is is not the time or place for idle technicalitie: BREVITY. TRAVELING salesman was thunderstruck upon being presented with a tele- gram which ran: “Twins this morning more later. BLISS. 66] YSANDER ™ (sweetly), ‘do you know what ! Our annive '» Margarct dear" (pretending ‘THOSE DOLLAR WATCHES. to have remembered it all the Dr. Fudge" Aa 1 suspected, you have an og- time). gravated case of the automobile heart “No such thing" (frig- idly). ‘It's the day you promised to nail the leg on that old kitchen table!" Lysander paled, tried to square himself on the anniversary blunder, failed utterly, and the fireworks were on. SPRING FEVER. MAN on third; two batters out; Two runs would win the game, If he could make a home-run clout, Deathless would be his fame. He hitched his grimy trousers up And spat upon his hands He pulled his cap athwart his eye And faced the howling stands. FASHION. Mr. Vandercup— Now, there is no need of our retrench- “Three balls fans yelled with delight. U have just made a big pile out of this panic, and "— “Two strikes!"’ the umpire said. Vandercup (angrily interrupting" And 1 say we He knocked the next ball out of sight h! Do you suppose that Lam going to be un- And then fell out of bed. fashionable 4. B Lovcnry, comicbooks.com