Judge — May 9, 1908 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE KING AND THE DIPLOMAT. Antonio Scarfoglio, of the Italian car ) the New York-Paris race, said of American roads at a reception in Salt) ity: § Your, American roads, with their ruts and holes, their mud and quicksands, the most dangerous in the world, 1 only compare them to the railways wrtugal. “A friend of mine, boarding a train at t month, was astonished to see 3 all adorned with flags and wers, and a band playing in the re Why is so much honor being paid this train?’ my friend asked the sta- aste In the strictest confidence,” rep! station master, ‘I don’t mind telling you that you are traveling on a train in which a carriage has been engaged for our young King. fact, his Majesty will not take his de- parture till two hours later, Thus the anarchist plot aj st him may tabs effect on this train, you understand.’ ’ — Buffalo Enquirer. A PERSISTENT FRIEND. George Weir, an English actor, ared one night in Mr. in his early days, ap] the role of Hamlet in an improvised theatre at Stroud, in Gloucestershire, and suffered much embarrassment from the demonstrative attentions of an en- thusiastic former schoolfellow, who sat ed But, as a matter of | in the front of the tent and kept up a running comment on the performance. “That be Gargy Weir,"’ exclaimed the admirer. ‘‘ I knaws Gargy! I used to go to school along wi’ he."’ After many expostulations the interrupter was turned out, and all went well until the audience PHILIP MORRIS | ORIGINAL LONDON CIGARETTES have made their re- putation ; but they do not depend upon it. They stand upon their present merits. | lish fac GOT A MARK. re you getting on in school, Tommy “Bully, pop.’” “But I hear that boy next door got a mark more than you did to-day.”” He did, pop, It was a black eye, and I gave it to him!"— Ex. was hushed to deadly silence while Ham- let was going through his soliloquy. ‘Then suddenly a still, small voice came ingly from the back row of seats, ge! Ibe in again!"—Bellman. REQUESTED TO KEEP AWAKE. was $ land's Cabinet, he was once called hom to Atlanta on business. The duties in- cident to his leaving had thoroughly wearied the brawny secretary, so he re tired early to his berth for a good night’s rest. Mr. Smith never does anything by halves, and the sonorous cadences of ever-increasing volume which proceeded from his apartment gave evidence that hin utterances of the day did not greatly exceed in forcefulness those of the night. But after about two hours his tranquil slumber was disturbed by the nudging of the porter. That official was asking, * Boss, is you awal “Of course I am awake, replied. ** What do you want?” ** Boss, [hope dat you will pardon me 1 ah, but I was jest goin’ to ask you to b so kind as sing awake for jest about “tell de rest of de pas- Lippincott’s. His GREATEST DELIGHT EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT is a vigorous shampoo with the ict, creamy lather made from Packer's Tar oap. The cleansing and refreshing sen- ons are immediate; any dandruff Is Femoved; a healthy growth of hair Is stimulated, and premature baldness revente PACKER’S TAR SOAP PURE AS THE PINES FRIENDS HELP ST. PAUL PARK INCIDENT. “ After drinking coffee for breakfast I always felt languid and dull, having no ambition to get to my morning dutics. Then in about an hour or so a weak, nervous derangement of the heart and stomach would come over me with such force I would frequently have to lie down, “* At other times I had severe head- aches; stomach finally became affected and digestion so impaired that 1 had serious chronic dyspepsia and constipa- tion. A lady, for many years state president of the W. C. T. U., told me she had been greatly benefited by quit- ting coffee and using Postum Food Cof- fee; she was troubled for years with asthma, She said it was no cross to quit coffee when she found she could have as delicious an article as Postum. “* Another lady, who had been troubled with chronic dyspepsia for years, found immediate relief on ceasing coffee and inning Postum twice a day. She was wholly cured. Still another friend told me that Postum Food Coffee was a godsend to her, her heart trouble having been relieved after leaving off coffee and taking on Postum. oO many such cases came to my ¢ that I concluded coffee was the of my trouble, and I quit and took up Postum, Tam more than pleased to say that my days of trouble have dis- 1 well and happy.”? Read ** The Road in packages. Ever read the above letter? A new’ one appears from time to time. They are genuine, true, and full of human interest. RESIGNED. A Germantown woman discovered one morning recently that her maid Nora had broken the thermometer that hung in the 1. ‘Well, Nora,’ sighed the mistress of the house, in a resigned way, ‘you've managed to break the | thermo! haven’t you?”” “Yis, mum,” replied the maid, in a tone equally | resigned, ‘And | now, mum, we'll jist have to take the weather *—Western Christian Ad- vocate, GONE. y from me, and never mor. ht foot fall on my lonely | She went a Will her 1 floor; The perfume of her presence lingers yet— Each day, each hour forbids me to forget Her empty throne, now that her reign is over. Oh, to call back my words! Oh, to re- store The old ways! Oh, to be just as of yore! Oh, bitter days! Oh, nights of vain regret! She went away! To-day I stand before another's door, To see if she will come for dollars four A week, and be my cook. Aye, but Tl bet She cannot wear old Bridget’s coronet, | Or make the kind of pies she made, before She went away! Cleveland Leader. WHERE HE WANTED HIM. John D, Crimmins tells the following story: +A beggar with an unmistakably Eng- ind also with a regular * stand’ on the Strand at Southampton Street, London, patiently was waiting with his tin cup for the charity of the passer-by. He had only one leg, one arm, and one A well-dressed, unmistakable Irish- man,'noticing him across the street, sur- veyed him carefully for five minutes, ap- proached, and, with ‘ Take this, my good a e into his ‘Thank you, sir,’ said the beggar, bowing about ‘twenty-five times in twenty-five seconds, ‘I’ve been on this corner well-nigh thirty year, sir, and | this is the first time any one ever has dropped a bit of gold into my cup, sir and, begging your pardon, sir, but, | strike me lucky! I think, sir, you're Irish.’ “Faith, you're telling: the truth, sir,” the Irishman said. ‘I gave you the gold, for you're the first Englishman I ever |saw who was trimmed exactly to my liking.’ "Exchange. | ‘WITH THE MARCH OF TIME. 30. He ate a cucumbe 9.06. Sought the couch of sweet slumber. ‘Then a painful delay Within his subway— 1130, Screams the doctor’s "phone num- er. —Scranton Tribune. |darky’s comment. JUNIOR Sate ty Razor GE with ar. went SWONAPETY Awd users of Da receiyt of ‘A PROPHET. Some years ago an expedition from the University of Pennsylvania was sent to one of our Southern States for the purpose of observing a solar eclipse. ‘The day before the event one of the pro- fessors said to an old darky belonging to the household wherein the scientist was quartered, ‘Tom, if you will watch your chickens to-morrow morning you'll find that they'll all go to roost at eleven o’clock.”* Tom was, of course, skeptical; but at the appointed hour the heavens were darkened and the chickens retired to roost. At this the negro’s amazement showed no bounds, and he sought out the scientist. ‘* Perfesser," said he, ‘* how long ago did you know dem chickens would go to roost?”” “About @ year ago,”’ said the pro- fessor, smilingly. “Well, ef datdon’t beat all!"? was the “Perfesser, a year ago dem chickens wa'n’t even hatched ! | Exchange. “« Experience,” said the wise person, is the best teacher. Yes,” answered Mrs. Torkins, sadly; ** but when it comes to horse races, some people go on taking post-graduate courses all their lives.” —Washington Star. ARE THE BEST PRODUCT MADE The materials the best, workmanship and fit superior. Largest range of sizes, greatest wear weights. wear until you wear Scriven’s. variety of fabrics in all under- You don't know the real comfort of under- Made in knee lengths and full lengths with undershirts to match. Get them from your haberdasher or ask Our booklet, « treative on physical culture m to procure them for you. for the bury busines man, IS FREE. J. A. 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