Judge, 1908-02-01 · page 6 of 18
Judge — February 1, 1908 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains several short satirical pieces: **"A Menu Prophecy"** satirizes evolutionary theory (likely referencing Darwin debates still active in the 1880s-90s): a diner contemplates eating clams and mackerel while musing that these creatures represent his evolutionary ancestors—a pessimistic view of human origins. **"Pessimism in Church"** jokes that the choir's poor singing was so discordant it overshadowed the minister's sermon's actual pessimism. **"The Valuables"** depicts a hotel clerk advising a man with seven children to leave valuables in the safe—implying the children themselves are valuable/precious but also humorously suggesting they're as risky as unguarded valuables. **"Behind Her Fan"** plays on courtship pretense: a woman pretends her husband took her breath away romantically, when his "taking her breath" actually means he forgot something ordinary. The humor relies on wordplay, evolutionary anxiety, domestic life observations, and Victorian social conventions—common *Judge* targets.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A MENU PROPHECY. AST night T sought a table d'hote, and in a pensive muod the nature of hat, with atay Some sentiment, D know nal lives from which we all desce elledt What CLAMS! Ah, what memories here 1 wn aquatic: birth ? aequattic bi Nor MACKEREL tinw kin; 1 And cried, “What if in bygone + Distraught, the menu card P sean wh, th PESSIMISM IN CHURCH. 6LJOW DID you like the sermon to-day?” H {didn’t you think the minister struck a ¢ IN ‘THE SCREECILOWL FAMILY “Fairly well, | rather pessimistic note T hadn't observed it. ‘The choir struck so many that [over My he spe top ) his lungs) ’ seems to me so very queer looked the minister's.” You always serecch at me, my dear A HARD ONE. One would think E could net hear.” aven’t E been real good since Ive been SUN (at the top of her lungs) HDJAD,” began Tomm you! Why, Hubby Owl! going to Sunday-school? “Ves,” answered dad. “And you trust me now, don't you?” 1 dad demanded ‘Tommy, “what makes you keep your box irs hid the sume as ever 7” s OVE. THE VALUABLES. Fm pecune—"1 wouldn't marry any woman for her money 1 TPHE MAN with a wife and seven child - didn’t love her.” hauled up in front of the hotel desk Friend tered, got his bell-boy and was startin Impecune—* No, sir. But if she was rich enough, gee! how TP the clerk, thinking: maybe he might jolly the new led to him, wrriva AN ECONOMICAL PLACE. They your pardon,” he said, but hadn't Applicant jor kitchen work—" Ma'am, do you want a girl to wash yeu better leave your valuables in the safe” "De you think I inquired the could love her. dishes?” Bourding-house Kee per—"*3 table.” ‘The bestrders clean them at mtn innocently ene ar him say it “Well, itis the best plan “ME ri man; and turning: te hi Here, Mary, pa the children over te the wife: Hell look after them and Is at rest.” give Whereupon the clerk apologized BEHIND HER FAN. her Kan? lenin, Vo listen t Englishman, Instead of Revering. me, « ANOTHER. STRIKE Pretty s« eatment after paying forthe Pan! ‘fea i a Hubby— Why, he fairly took my breath away.” Wijey—" L thought I missed something. comicbooks.com