Judge — January 25, 1908 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

——————— ee RETROGRADING. | rmer Ragweed—* Has Bill learned av thing tew college?” Irs, Ragweed—" No; an’ wuss’n that, }. forgot what he uster know! Says he! at pie without a fork.”—Chicago| ART AND JUDGMENT. [am going to play Hamlet” Good! That's art.”” Vor one night only.” Ah, that’s judgment.” (. vier-Journal. —Loxisville RECEPTIVE MOOD. The dark horse was inclined to be ues ommitta Vm not said, “but only a fool horse Ml kick a bucket of oats over.” Vhereupon his followers announced} about it. him as in the fight to win.—Philadel phia| you, Public Ledger. c Mothers will find Mrs Syeujetle best remedy fort Winslow's Soothing children, 2c, a bottle fi DOUBLY SURE stid the grocer, severely, Harry,” Mr. Smith for that}T 1 you charge ,” replied the clerk; “I think I did, “Well, charge him again, gain,” “You can’t be too sure of al" sroeer. c esear oF ocean, fe without Abbott's Bitters. CLEAR JUDGMENT. :vidently a ‘Turkish bath is ty keep one perpetually dirty.” 1 judge from what you say that you've never tiken one, but [ve seen a Turk.” delphia Press '—Phila- al artists, A LACK. Are the preparations all made for)” nals trial?” * responded the prisoner's! my dressmakers got the! appointed me.”"—Phila- hIphia Public Ledger MBAR RASSMENT. 1 once heard of a ies, rvants them: that she li. —Cumden Courier, Chap ed Skin healing and The emollient ecerine and combined in Packer’s Tar Soap nake it invaluable for chapped, tated skin not only protects, but sof- Its routine use tens, whitens and fortifies. \A NEW YORK THY PACKER MPG. CO., en Cedar asking anything of any-|:t book for my husband. Show me what you hav of grapes?” tory or biography. dreadful hurry, and I've already wasted too much time here. said the/don't know my husband, but from Machine,’”—7i-Bil mean by the embar- ny one can Play any Guitar Pears’ Pears’ Soap has never offered premiums to induce sales. It is, in itself, a prize for the complexion. Established In 178% THE BOOK FOR HIM. “Here, clerk, I'm ina hurry. T want his birth- a present. nd be quick Nothing too expensive, mind and T don’t want anything too, heap, cither; do you hear? He's a And IT want it for mild-mannered man, and not fond of ports, so don't show me anything in hat line. For goodness sake don't offer me any of these trashy novels, and no matter how much you try to persuade me, of his- I'mina won't take anything in the lin Come, now Of course, you HM ve said "t you suggest something of that kind.”"—Harper’s Maga-|appropriate?” Here is a little volume Talking “Yes, mav’am, ntitled ‘How to Manage a Ale drinkers are the aschemlmanty kind of men— those with hearts and stomachs. The secret i Copyright, 1907, by Judge Co. MAN'S DARLING, 15 4 19%. Joven Co, 225 Fourth Avenue, New Vork City. wee A, eee, ° [Why is Taft the coming man? Tell us, poets, if you can! q Condense your reasons into three brief lines in the second of JUDGE'S great LIMERICK CONTESTS. If you never saw a limerick, here is one filled out: For President, William H. Taft! He throws all his weight against graft ; The world opes its eyes At his wisdom and size— That's why he should pilot our craft. @ Supply three new lines in the following limerick, write them in the blanks where they belong, tear off this half-page, and send it to LIMERICK EDITOR, JUDGE, before Feb. 7th, 1908. FOR PRESIDENT, WILLIAM H. TAFT. THAT'S WHY HE SHOULD PILOT OUR CRAFT. @ The prize for the best limerick is a year's subscription to JUDGE'S LIBRARY and an original cartoon of Mr. Taft by Flohri, which looks more like Taft than Taft does. The five next best will each receive an original drawing by one of JUDGE'S artists. No MSS. will be returned. The Editor of JUDGE has sole power to determine the result. @ Try the KNOX limerick. next week and the HUGHES limerick last week! G A special prize to anyone who receives mention in three of the contests. A GREWSOME PROPOSAL Mr. Grogan—" What power al + funerals they do be h tthe church the Shure shtarted me thinki Miss Casey Mr. Grogan toime fur my funeral wildy 2°—Phil HIS USEFULNESS like mine?? Jed youth, ysuch wisdom as yours must seem dull.” “Not at all,” you the truth, J just sldirpen my witson your skull.” Lanis Time tion "said the, ivs said the sa vo what?” whin it, comes would you be the Vn St AN IMPOSSIBLE SUPPOSITION you would have to have her “Pye got three brothe J myself,” psister, stid a six-year week |wouldn’t you?” toa male caller ‘Tom looked about the room for sev cral moments and then, easting. bis big or in a frightened sort ed out of the room y. “Where are called the man the reply as eyes on his of way, suc and made for ¢ hoy 2 Ml wi a triply down town, nursery,” €: “Four boys, eh?” commented the [Tom's legs carrie father’s friend. could) up. the “Yes; n, that’s me, Jim an’ Fred tes he returned to the an’ Lou. Girls might be all right; Hike [perfectly placid, and, placing hin self “em, too, most of the time, but they're [squarely before the man, hesitated a n+ nd always of getting hurt. nd the beys Can't play ball, nor shoot marbles, and 1 - th only thing some of ’em can do is just left pane *prattled the boy. So you don't think you'd like to have him as fast as they about stairs. ment don’t want “But suppose God h here for you, what then , 1 wouldn't a-been her. wouldn't a-been her, Lou wouldn ta-been her and Jim w heen her. Now, who'd acbeen her?” —Washington Star. Fred ” replied Tom after “But suppose the Lord ga pause. you a comicbooks.com