Judge, 1908-01-18 · page 7 of 16
Judge — January 18, 1908 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several standalone humorous sketches typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines: **"Had Two Faults"**: A dialect-heavy joke about a horse trader selling a defective horse. The humor relies on the buyer's discovery that the horse has obvious faults the seller downplayed—a con-artist scenario presented as rustic comedy. **"Captious Criticism"**: Satirizes pretentious poets and harsh editors. A young poet asks why his work was rejected; the editor dismisses it as "bow-legged" (metrically broken), mocking both amateur poets and overly critical literary gatekeepers. **"He Had Heard of It Before"**: A child-rearing joke where a father warns his misbehaving son that mother's illness could cause "a crisis," and the boy innocently replies it's "either a boy or a girl"—humor from the child's misunderstanding about pregnancy/childbirth. **"Judge's Decisions"**: Aphoristic observations about human nature (greed, love, wit, moistness) presented as philosophical pronouncements—gentle social satire on human foibles. The overall tone is lighthearted domestic and social commentary, not overtly political.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
q | HAD TWO FAULTS. UScue, Re MUS, be- sides being an inveterate horse- trader, was something One fter swap. a rather disreputable- looking ns a, “ Now, stranger, Ill tell yer fair. Dat hoss hab ot two faults,”* ssented the other, But what are “And more, too, 1 guess,” they 2 + Wacal, ef he gits out in ye ever seed, an’ when yer ketch ‘i ficld he’s de hahdes’ hoss ter ketch y he ain‘t wuth a cuss.” FASHION NOTE, LAST year's overcoats are very much worn, IMPRESSIONABLE, UCHL little things had i His watehechain held for him a wondrous charm, And from his mantel in the morning dim A nickel clock would fill him with alarm. fer him— CAPTIOUS CRITICISM. ++ PARDON me," said the budding poet to the crabbed! editor. May I inquire why you do not wish to accept my poems? Are the feet wrong 2" “The feet are passable,” replied the crabbed editor with some acerbity, “but the poems are bow-legged.” HE HAD HEARD OF IT BEFORE. A MOTHER of a seven-year-old lad, who was daily expecting a visit from the stork, found the little fellow’s conduct so trying that his father was called upon to interfere. * Bobby,” said papa, mamma is quite ill, and we are afraid that if you are not a better boy and mind your mother it will bring ona crisis, Now, my son, perhaps you do not know what a crisis is." “Oh, yes, I do, pa aid Bobby blithely, “It's either a boy MODEST. Mistress—"" Bridget, what Eriocer—" Oh, ann; JUDG#’S DECISIONS. F all sad words A greedy person is one who wants everything you want Anan is considered singular who has more t All lovers think of eloping— only most think it over seriously. Moisture makes thin even umbrellas are raise rain, Most persons are anxious to do a favor for those who don't need it Veta wit acquire notonety asa wit, then the world will help him stom, with witticisms he never uttered. ‘The public likes t it's caught by an old tick that it runs for the police, worked in a novel way. It is only when all | get you from New York?” yez are aftler wantin’ yersilf would be good enough fer me.” SAFETY IN THE SIMPLE LIFE. “Aren't you glad, Birdiana, that we are simple folks?" comicbooks.com