Judge — January 18, 1908 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

2h Fouwrn Ave. New Ye JOHN A, Wrorenn Al Kavhanee, LEICHER, President. Burges Johnson, Managing 1 JUDOE cannot be found a1 any news-stand, the publishers will be onder o c otherivise return of the Latter when found unavailable cannot be guaranteed. lowe if that fact be promptly reported on postal-card or by letter. WHOA, JEFF! GEE HAW! MY GRACIOUS! what's that dreadful noise? Our ear- drums are so frail! It cannot be that naughty boys are pinching something's tail? It sounds from down Potomac way, whence ema- nates the Law—yet it's the sort of noise, they say, that’s raised in Arkansaw. Gee haw, Jef ! Whoa! Gee haw! My good- ness! just remember, Jeff, you ain't in Arkansaw. The Capitol is firm, we know—a solid marble mass; yet e’en the walls of Jericho were felled by sounding brass. The Hall of Statuary squirms—it fears your champing jaw ; yet you were governor three terms, back there in Arkansaw. Gee, Jeff! Hully gee! ‘They must have sense of humor there in poor and haw, haw, haw! old Arkansaw ! UT on Long Island, it is said, they have discovered that horses are being killed and turned into sausage-meat. This is an un- pleasant thought, and yet blame must not be laid on the wrong peo- ple. Horse-owners are justified in trying to realize on their invest- ment. Another argument against the automol It is invading our very breakfast-tables. ANOTHER William J. Bryan in political life? If this isn’t treason it is at least sacrilegious. Has Taft a right to accept the political services of a postman ? 1c. rebar DE Moc RA) convy*® A DOCTORED FLEET. +s PIPE all hands to quarters!" cried the admiral. ‘Stand ready to man the forward port ambulance! Second officer, get out your forceps and take the sun, Every man is expected to do his If the enemy boards us throw him down and operate on his appendix. If he gets ours before we get his, we are ignomin- iously defeated. Swing the starboard X-ray machine into action and fire as soon as you see the whites of their epiglottises, And remem- ber, every man of you, to chew your food forty-two times before swallowing. Men cannot fight their best for the old flag with indi- gestion.” . ... ‘Don’t cheer, boys ; the poor devils are dying. Stand by with your scalpels for an autopsy.” . ... Strange language, yet we imagine such inspiring words ringing through the school histories of the future. Three cheers, boys, for our medical seamen ! Long may they wave! But heaven grant that the idea may not be carried into civil life, so that we shall some day find ourselves on board an ocean greyhound, with the ship's surgeon in command, navi- gating the ship by Materia Medica. D& FLEXNER of the Rockefeller Institute announces that the arteries, and even organs, of brute animals, may be transferred to man. Hens’ brains, pigs’ appetites, and the like, we suppese. The learned doctor must have been quietly and successfully experimenting among us for some time past. NOBLESSE OBLIGE. T ISa bit irritating every time a large dower of American gold is sent abroad to support some superfluous member of the European nobility. And yet the immortals, gazing with full perspective from high Olympus, must chuckle when they sce the bedraggled scions of a decaying aristocracy quarreling in the gutter over a republican grass-widow with a dot. After all, there is something pleasant about the common level of a republic; and even in Europe, where a sharp line is still drawn between the rank and file, the rank is getting so very rank it is better to be one of the file. THE WHALE AGAIN COUGHS UP ITS JONAH. Sec JUDGE'S Great Limerick Contest on next to last page. comicbooks.com