Judge — December 28, 1907 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HIS NEW-YEAR’S RAISE. EW YEAR'S had come and New Year's had gone, and Johnny, the office-boy, had not been called into the senior partner's private office and patted on the back and told that the firm could not possibly get along without him, and that his salary had been increased to ten dollars per week. He couldn't understand it; and when several days had passed by, with no change in the situation, he decided that it was his duty to have the matter adjusted. “Mr. Johnson,” he said to the head of the firm, “ain't youse bin overlookin’ me?” “Why, I don’t think so, John- y."" was the reply when the senior partner had recovered from his sur- prise. “Let me see; I called you down on Monday for being impudent to the stenographer, did I not?” “Y-yep,” answered Johnny. “And threatened to discharge you on Tues- day for smoking cigarettes in the office?” SHE HAD HEARD OF IT. Good-bye, Melindy,"* said Uncle Hiram, about to start on a journey to New York City. “Y-yep.” “ Good-bye, Hiram,” returned Aunt Melindy. ‘*An' don’t you fergit ter bring me back a “ And pulled your ear the other day for read- _receip’ fer makin’ that Brooklyn Bridge Jam them city people are goin’ so crazy over."’ ing dime-novels during business hours ?” . “Y-yep.” importance, I'll cheerfully lay it aside and attend to your case at “ And lectured you severely for whistling and singing ?” once, Tell the cashier that [ want to see him immediately.” “Yeyep.” And when Johnny received his money on pay-day he found that “And again yesterday for putting pins in the book-keeper's chair ?” “ Yeyep.” “And when the manager isn’t giving you fits for shooting craps or throwing paper wads, I hear the head clerk raking you over the coals for something or other. No, my boy; I don't see that you have any grounds for complaining that we are overlooking you. * “1-1 mean, boss, about me dough. Youse ain't changed me salary. “Oh, that’s it, eh?” said the senior partner with a chuckle. “Well, although Iam at present engaged on a matter of very great HALF THE SPICE GONE. “« Algy will never marry you. He is only flirting.” “Weil, why did you teil me? Now you've queered the flirtation."* his salary had been reduced from five to four dollars. ALB Lewis. WHY HE FELT GOOD. Seaver—" What in the name of all that is laughable makes Swett- son feel so good ?” Weaver— Why, he just won ten dollars on a bet.” Seaver—“ Won ten dollars, did he? There's always some brain- less sucker ready to part with his hard-earned cash betting on a prop- osition which any child with brains enough to blow a whistle would know was certain to be beat. What consummate ass did Swettson rake that ten dollars off of ?” Weaver—* Why, he—er-r—won it off me.” ON 'CHANGE. BULLS. EGGIE HOPPER Buys Copper; Adds a stopper. Very proper. Market flops, Copper drops ; Stopper stops— Pork chops! BEARS. Reggie Wells Panic smells 5 Copper sells— Joke! Little wire, Little flyer; Little higher— Broke! MARROLD SKINNER, VIOLATION OF CON- TRACT. YOUNG Irish matron, who was a believer in the vari- ety that is the spice of life, sur- prised everyone by bringing suit against her inoffensive spouse. When questioned by the sedate judge for cause for legal separation, she said, “When Mike married me he swore he would die for me, and—and he hasn‘t died yit.” comicbooks.com