Judge, 1907-12-21 · page 11 of 16
Judge — December 21, 1907 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising** for Miller High Life Beer, with the large display ad dominating the upper two-thirds. The ad uses orientalist imagery—a caricatured figure in Asian dress serving drinks—to market beer to colonial markets ("Philippines, Egypt, India"). The appeal is that High Life satisfies "universal demand for a perfect beer," justifying expansion to "One Million Barrels." The remainder consists of **short humorous items** typical of Judge's format: - A "professional pedestrian" (vagrant) joke - Clergy wordplay about appetites and bits/bridles - A Russian diplomat's quip about peace negotiations being easier than managing "forty-seven neutrals" - Various puns about prices, soda fountains, and weather prediction These brief items mock social pretension, bureaucratic absurdity, and romantic mishaps—standard satirical fare for the era. **No specific political figures or events** are identifiable. The page reflects early-1900s attitudes toward imperialism and colonial markets as natural expansion opportunities for American products.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HIGH LIFE} BEER. j j j 1 j ] } WELL CLASSIFIED. | Prison-warden—" We try to give every inmate work with which he is familiar. What's your trade ?” New prisoner —*\'m a professional pedestrian."—New York Tribune, | Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's Sooth- bottle. ing Syrup the best remedy for their children. 25 OR IN OTHER WORDS. The Archbishop of Canterbury and a number of clergy were adjourning for luncheon after an ecclesiastical function, | when a canon remarked unctuously,** Now to put a bridle on our appetites.’ “Say, rather,” retorted his grace, “to Ex. put a bit between our teet | Abbott's B’tters braces the nerves and is a great strengthener. At druggists’. t i ; A REAL TASK, The wife of the American minister at The Hague recently asked Mr. Nelidoff, the Russian president of the peace con- ference, to write something in her album. “It is easier,” he wrote, «to make peace with one enemy than forty-seven neu- trals."—Exchange. The Champagne of Bottle BEER dHGH LIFE shipped’ to the PHILIPPINES, EGYPT, INDIA v and the ends of civilization ? BECAUSE HIGH LIFE satisfies the univer- sal demand for a PERFECT BEER. THE WORLD ASKS FOR IT. That’s why we were compelled to increase our capacity to One Million Barrels HENRY C. BOTJER, Distributor, 353 Broadway, Long Island City, New York. EXILED. “Whit made you send Congress 2” + Well,” answered Farmer Corntassel, “he would insist on wearin’ a high hat an'a Prince Albert coat on week-days, an’ we jes’ naturally got tired 0’ seein’ him around."— Washington Star. Bliggins to IN VAUDEVILLE. “« Dey say dat meat iss going down, “Sure. I put some down myselluf. “No, no. Dey are going to give de price-list a few chops.”” “ Vell, it’s stew high, aindt it 2” “ Truly, iss it. I never sausage prices.” “It makes me vant to gif my butcher @ roast.” “Me, too.. Good-py. I hope ve soon meat again."—Cleveland Plain Dealer. THE PATIENT'S CHANCE. “So your doctors disagreed ? wonder you got well.” “Nota bit of it. They were so busy quarreling that they both let me alone.” —Philadelphia Ledger. It's a Most any girl is attractive to men un- less she knows enough to be able to earn her own living.—New York Press. ANYTHING TO OBLIGE. Caller—\ wish to announce the en- gagement of Miss Vera Smartun. I don't know just what the proper form is, but she’s quite particular about having it done right. Perhaps you will be kind enough to” Editor —" Certainly, ma'am. Simpson, how have we been in’ the habit of run- i iss Smartun’s engagement no- DRUG-STORE BALLAD, Oft Tiddledy goes to the drug-store, For a glass of soda, methinks ; But they say the clerk adds something more Whenever Tiddledy winks. —Chicago Tribune. FORETELLING THE WEATHER. Piace twelve onions in a row on Christ- mas day ; name each after a month and put salt on their tops, Those on which the salt is melted inside of twelve days will be wet months, according to Long Island weather science.— Potter County Journal, Many a toothless person indulges in biting sarcasm.—Ex. GOOD REASON WHY. “That horse, sir, can’t be bought for one thousand dollars.” “No; I suppose not. he can't be sold for Leader. T'm blamed sure it." — Cleveland THE WHOLE TRUTH. “Did you hear about the defacement inner’s tombstone 2” What was it?” eone aided, the word * friend * to the epitaph.” What was the epitaph ?” “+ He did his best.’ ""—The Review. ‘THE PITY OF IT. Amateur sportsman (after shooting his best friend)—" Too bad, too bad ; but I thought you were a deer. The victim—« Don't tret Amateur sportsman — “Don't fret! Why, man, I promised my wife a pair of horns."—JMustrated Bits. FORCE OF HABIT. Actor—" You ran over me. I shall sue you for damages. Can you give me an advance on account ?"—Meggendorfer Blatter. Williams His sentiment was touched with feeling. j Shaving Soap “The only kind that won't smart or dry on the face” Is a combination of skill and honesty. It was best sixty-five years ago and is best to-day. May be had in the form of Shav- ing Sticks or Shaving Tablets. comicbooks.com