Judge — December 7, 1907 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WHEN NERVE MEETS NERVE. 66 ATHER-IN-LAW,” he began, as he entered the library where old Moneybags sat reading the paper “* father- 1—1—wanted to—to + What ails you now ?” growled the old billionaire, as he scowled over the top of his paper, *If you've got anything to say, why don’t you say it like a man ? “1-1 wanted to—to s1 stammered, ‘that your daughter, Maude—that is, my wife—is—is aw, he very anxious for a—a Christmas present, sir. “Well, can you blame her?” “Oh, no, sir; but the—the fact is, sir, she—she ig very anxious for a diamond necklace she—she saw in a j-jewelry-store the other deday, s “ Humph t you a couple of years ago that she'd get no more presents out of me. Well, what about the necklace, anyway ?” “II thought that we—we might get it for her, sir.” «We !” thundered old Moneybags, in a way that lifted the son- I toid Maude when she was howling around here for in-law off his feet, “Y-yes, sir. The necklace is—is only ten thousand dollars, sir, and I can spare five dollars towards it.” For a few moments the billionaire did not speak, Then he burst out into a roar of laughter that fairly shook the house, and as he laid his paper aside and reached for his check-book he chuckled, «My boy, when Maude set her heart on you I called her an id and said she hadn’t brains enough fo last her over night, but I take it all b: She did see something in you after all. Why, with your cast-iron nerve, it’s dollars to doughnuts that you'll some day be a bil- lionaire yourself, and a credit to the fam: Here's the price of the necklace, my boy, and you can keep your five dollars for popcorn and cigarettes.” UNDER DIFFICULTIES. «¢ GOING to play Santa Claus this year 2 inquired the poetical indi- vidual. “Umph !" puffed the portly person, “I'd look great crawling through a three-inch steam-pipe, wouldn't 12” THREE STOCKINGS. ERE is the stocking of Coralie Pearl, Who married the only son of an earl— The stocking she wore as a chorus-girl ! The stocking put on, when, after the show, She dressed for the street and home did go; A mother and sisters had Coralie Pearl, She supported all three, the true-hearted girl. The stocking, you see, is out at the toe— “ Why darn it ?” she ‘d say; “tis not in the show Here is the stocking of Coralie Pearl, “Round which her skirts would madly swhirl— The stocking she wore as a dancing girl ! The stocking she filled from sole to knee With Nature's generous legacy. “ Your mother and sisters are to me As dear as you, sweet Coralie. ‘Thus spoke the son of an English earl To a poor, hard-working chorus-girl. Here is the stocking and here is the earl, (His father died when he wed the girl), And here is the mother, and sisters, Pearl. The stocking belongs to Coralie ; This Christmas mom it is full, you see, With sisters Pearl and mother of Pearl, And the best of gifts, an English earl! The stocking contains her family, But, alack! alas! no legacy— So she kicks to-night at the Gaiety! J Hh ue Y By (re aah WALTIO BEVERLEY CRANE. HIS ONE ERROR. . ITTLE CHARLEY had been given a dollar to spend for Christmas according to his own ideas. A whole dollar was a liferal allow- ance when the circumstances of Charley's family were fully consid- ered. So on the morning after he had done his shopping he was asked by his father to give an account of the dispensation of his wealth, Charley thought- fuily, «1 cents for ¢ cents for more peanuts, ten cents at the ‘lectric theatre, and ten cents more at the ‘lectric thea- tre another day when I took Eddie Brown in with me.” « That's fifty of it,” commented his father, who had been count his fingers. keeping on RIGHT IN LINE “There's one good thing about living in this place. Santa Claus can hardly give us the go-by!"* “Go “Then I match- ed dimes with Eddie after the show, an’ he got all I had left but one.” * « Yes, and that‘one,” prompted his father. suppos No,.1 ain't,” said Charle; + But what became of it 2" persisted his father. After a profound study of a few moments Charley answered, “I dono, paw; but it may be that I spent just that one ten cents foolishly, somehow. “You have it yet, I TRUE TO ITS KIND. RS. MAITRON wandered through the mazes of the fascinating toy- shop and finally stopped at the counter which held a diversified assortment of mechanical playthings. “I wish to see a toy for a boy of five years," she said to the salesman, “Something on this order ?” ventured the salesman, displaying a shaggy bear which danced about in fits and starts. “Oh, no,” exclaimed Mrs. Maitron. “ [must have something more modern.” “ How about this toy automobile 2. It’s a remarkable little plaything.” * Yes ; the automobile would seem bet- ter suited to my purpose. Has it any up- to-date features ?” “It’s full of them,” declared the sales man, In the first place it is guaranteed to get out of order before it has been used a week.” “Is that its most realistic feature ?” inquired Mrs, Maitron. « Hardly,” replied the salesman, “Its most realistic feature is the diabolical pleasure it seems to take in running over the carpet.” A CHRISTMAS NOVEL IN FOUR PUFFS. CuHaPTeR I. “ Direc, be mine?” «Oh, Arthur, this is so sudden !* CHaprer Il. And when June came they were mar- ried. CHapTeR III. On Christmas she gave him a box ot cigars. : Cuaprer IV, Shortly afterward they were divorced. comicbooks.com