Judge — November 23, 1907 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SPORTING NOTE. DEAR Maud, would you and T could meet In pugilistic fray ; Then I would rush into a clinch And never break away. DIDN'T COOK 'EM RIGHT. +4OF ALL the tasteless, mussy, mud-soaked, greasy fish in the world the German carp is the worst!” ejaculated one of the pis- catorial enthusiasts seated about the tavern fire. “ They are all right if cooked right,” dis- puted another follower of Izaak. “Cooked right! Great leaping tarpons ! I've et ‘em fried in the choicest Jersey butter, broiled with the best country bacon, baked with mountain-sage dressing, and toasted on a spruce-fork over a camp-fire, and I tell you I never bit into a carp when it tasted like any- thing fit to eat.” “Now, the only way to cook carp," con- tinued the man with the receipt, * is to clean a nice five-pounder carefully, slash it several times crosswise, and insert bits of salt pork. Season the whole with melted butter, sprinkle PRETTY SOLEMN. . dressing. Then cut a hemlock board two feet aunts, and a country cousin to dinner.” long, two inches thick, and ten inches wide. Lay the fish on this and insert in a red-hot oven. Let the fish bake A CHANGE IN ADDRESS. for thirty minutes; then take it out and turn it over. Baste with but- SOLDIER of the great army of the unemployed shuffled up to the ter and return to the oven, After twenty minutes take it out care- roll-top desk and looked over. “Say, are you de guy wot advertised for a man to address envel- fully, throw the fish away, and eat the board.” bow cameron sua opes 2" he asked anxiously. . “Lam,” replied the man at the desk; but if you can’t address envelopes any better than you addressed me, you'll find the exit where you came in.” MADE IT CLEAR. Enthusiastic listener (after concert)—" Oh, professor, it was such a good idea of yours to have the words of your songs printed on the programme !” Singer—“ Ah! you found it helpful 2” Enthusiastic listener— Oh, yes. It made clear to us what you were trying to sing. CAPABLE POETRY. m proud to meet him. They say his poetry will pass on to future generation: Rivat rorr—'* Well, his lines ought to get somewhere. The most of them have eight feet.” WHY HE DIDN’T RISE. T WAS married men’s night at the revival meeting. «Let all you hus- bands who have troubles on your minds stand up!” shouted the emotional preacher at the height of his spasm. Instantly every man in the church rose to his feet except one. “ Aha!” exclaimed the preacher, peering out at this lone sitter, who occu- pied a chair near the door and apart from the others, “You are the one ina million.” “Tt ain't that," piped back this one helplessly as the rest of the congrega- tion turned to gaze suspiciously at him. “I can't get up—I'm paralyzed !” NO CAUSE FOR ALARM. THE eminent scalp specialist, having made a careful examination and pocketed his fee, was reassuring his patient, threatened with baldness, who sat before THE STANDARD, IS TOO HIGH. F him, “Now, my dear sir, don't be troubled a minute over your hair,” he ad- “tell you It's tough to be the only kid In the family.” vised encouragingly.. “ Quit worrying about it and follow my instructions, and, diCason ta cree oroted Teeneviat tant tasst ona loss Til warrant you, it will come out all right. when company comes and I can't make good, | get a licking.” comicbooks.com