Judge — November 9, 1907 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SAA ZZ, PUBLISHED WEEKLY. 10 CENTS A COPY. 225 Fourtu Av;.,New Yore. Caste Apprest)“Jupcame.” Tarr, 2214 Gramercy. Robert D. Towne, President. Wasraxn Apvarrisinc A, Nichbls, Secretary Treasuter. 225 Fourth Avenue, fork. 313 Hartford Butiding, Chicage, [. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS: One copy, one year. or s2 numbers - Que copy, sux montis, oF a6 namoers = + = ‘One copy, for turteen weeis tare fe to all eubacribers in the United Staten. and ja Haat Porto Rico, the Philippine Ialands ‘order, met by lacad ech, which, wader present “anh Tncioding the Cnisrias Jonce. Guam, Tutuili, Samoa, and Mexico. rarslations of New York, are at a discount im that city ‘countries in the postal union, $6.30 8 year. Romoraan saias-ncewrs—latsraations! News Company, Bream's building, Chancery Lant, EC. Londen : Brentan’s, Avewus de | Opera, Paris: Saathact's News Exchange, Mains, Germany. The contents of FUDGE are protected by cooyright tn both the United States and Great Britain. infringement of this copyright will be promotty and digoroasiy orosecutes. CONTRIBUTORS must inciose a stamped and self-addressed envelope with all manasorots, otherwise retum of the Latter when found unavailable cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and ail contribations sent to the Art Deoartment should have the sender’s fell name and address Ywrttten plainly on each and every seoarate sketch. The accompanying joke or descriptive letter-oress should in every instance be worttien upon its indtoidual picture, and NOT upon a separate sito of paper. inciosare of stamps to the full amount of postage 18 also requived, 10 neure safe and orompt return of material not accented. 1 JUDGE cancot be found at any news-stand, (he publishers wil! be under obligations If that tact be promptly reported ox postal-card or by letter. THE MEANING OF THE RASH ON THE SUN'S FACE, IT TSBURGH SCIENTISTS report that the sun is breaking out with a rash. Indications have not been wanting of a vast sympathetic movement in nature corresponding to certain afflictions just now prevailing among humankind. The recent unlocatable seismic jolt appeared almost synchronously with a certain financial swoon, still vivid in metropolitan recollections. Somewhere’ beyond the Indies an island is said to have lurched upward in the sea and then disappeared. The movement is strik- ingly like the startled motions lately witnessed in frantic finance, where stocks and reputations went up and then went down. The southern speech-making tour of the President is known to have produced very marked perturbations in regions as remote from him as the sun is from the earth. So it is not altogether an unexpected phenomenon, this rash on the sun, Even the Sun, New York, broke out into a warm sweat at about the same time these other shrinkings and swoonings in nature and other places were occurring. It is rather to be deemed a misfortune that nature has caught the knack of responding to the shock of human surprise in this manner. We would much prefer to have nature and the sun keep out of the zone of frantic finance and plutocratic politics. Imagine what catastro- phes might follow if the winds and waves began to answer to the moods of our Bryans, our Hearsts, our Harrimans and our Rockefellers, our yellow journals and the muckraking fraternity. The plagues of Egypt night re- turn, and frogs and fleas and all the other thinkable insectivora of mischief be let loose in the world surrounding New York and from there spread to all parts of the country. tee PAINLESS DENTISTRY AND HIGHER IDEALS. CONVENTION of dentists in New Jersey recently resolved that the greatest present need among dentists is higher ideals. In a day when higher ideals are recommended to all sorts of persons, it follows that den- tists who fail to have such things are placed in an embarrassing position. On second thought, however, the question occurs, what use can dentists make of higher ideals in their specific business? The man who sits in a dentist’s chair and waits for the trouble to begin can hardly be supposed to be canvassing the question whether the expert who is about to go at him is a man of high ideals. It is a good deal like the question once propounded by a famous person, namely: What is the best book to read on the way to the dentist's? The answer, of course, was immediate and emphatic that no book is a good book in such an emergency, because the person who is aiming for the dentist’s office isn’t at that time thinking of anything else under the sun. Nevertheless, we suppose that the dentists know what they are talking about; and if they consider that higher ideals are called for, they ought to have the hearty approval and assistance of the public. We recommend, therefore, that every person who goes to a dentist will inquire into this matter. Perhaps put the question direct to the dentist be- fore submitting to the forceps, Are your ideals high? That would bring the whole business to a point at once. Dentists failing to give positive assurance, or inclined to equivocate, would, of course, lose trade, while those who were willing to answer the requirements would prosper accord ingly. And come to think, there is no reason why the higher-ideal scheme should not work well. What we want is’a dentist who will not say that the exercises about to begin will be entirely painless and leave the patient to discover a few moments later that he was totally misinformed. The dentists know that they pretty near jerk our heads off. Why, then, should they not be frank enough to tell us just what to expect? ‘THE COMMONNESS OF SOME UNCOMMON PEOPLE. MERICANS will regard with frank surprise the fuss Mr. Labouchere is raising in England about the ancestry of Dukes, Lords, Earls, and the rest of the nobility. It is part of the present attack of the proletariat ‘on the House of Lords to expose the nobility, and London Truth is bending all its ingenuity to the task of showing that nobles have the same kind of promiscuous origin that common folks have. This is a truth obvious to any intelligence—a truth which we Americans have known so long that it has become trite; and yet our English cousins affect to be horrified by such statements, for example, as that ‘‘ The first dukes of Grafton, Richmond, St. Albans, and Buccleuch were illegitimate sons of Charles II.,”’ and that “The first Duke of Marlborough owed his career in the first instance to the seduction of his sister Arabella Churchill by James II.”” We Ameri- cans are not scandalized by such disclosures at all. We have come to know that there is only one kind of people in this old world; that accident some- times clothes them in faiment of different prices per garment, and habit sometimes foolishly awards vast honors in one case and withholds them in another. But we know very well that under all garbs and grandeurs is ‘one type of mortal flesh, and sometimes the worth of the inner jewel is in direct disproportion to the gaudiness of the exterior. And yet it will not do to say that this is the American view. It is only partially so. The millionaire American girl, for instance, goes right on lending herself to the delusions of the outward show. of foreign nobility, though in almost every case she learns later by hard experience that Voltaire was right when he said, ‘ The nobleis like the common man, except that he is a little worse.” eee ROCKEFELLER, Morgan, et al. are such handy men at stopping panics wealmost wonder why they allow them to occur. THERE are times when big men are put into such small holes that we begin tr see that the camel-and-needle episode may not be so impossi- ble after all. comicbooks.com