Judge, 1907-10-19 · page 6 of 16
Judge — October 19, 1907 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical sketches mocking contemporary social behaviors and romantic conventions of the era. **"Sophronia's Scathing Rebuke"** depicts a young couple where the woman lectures her suitor about stealing, apparently referencing petty theft or possibly dishonest behavior in courtship—a moral critique wrapped in domestic drama. **"Captured a Prize"** jokes about a "gridiron heroine"—a college girl valued for her ability to cook beefsteak rather than her education, satirizing how women were reduced to domestic skills despite attending university. **"Turning the Tables"** presents an editor rejecting a magazine submission by mimicking the dismissive form-letter tone magazines typically use on writers—turning professional rejection back on the publication itself as satire. **"Our Office-Boy"** humorously contrasts the boy's initial enthusiasm with subsequent excuses (grandmother's illness, family obligations), mocking worker reliability and the gap between promise and performance. These sketches reflect period anxieties about courtship propriety, women's education, publishing gatekeeping, and labor reliability.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Tl retorm. Miss Staightly. night! Miss STAIGHTLY (stepping forward as young Snipkin opens the door)—Mr. Snip—Augustus ! YouNG SN1PKIN (closing the door quickly, returning to Miss Staightly’s side, and clasping her outstretched hands)—Miss Stai—Sophronia! Miss STAIGHTLY (looking up into young Snipkin’s eyes, her head on his shoulder)—You do not have to steal, Augustus, dear! (Zadleau, Curtain.) ep wort. I'll never do it again. Good- 2 Gos there a kid to any school Who doesn’t sometime break the rule, Or have the rule upon him broke? Come, answer quick! This is no joke. TURNING THE TABLES. Editor of Nobody's Magazine, Squelchem & Downem, Pubs., New York City. EAR SIR—I am returning herewith the copy of your magazine which you so kindly submitted for my pe- rusal, with a request that I submit some manuscript for use in its columns, While your periodical contains many sections which might appeal to certain writers, I regret to say that it is not suited to the class of manuscript which is now being turned out by my typewriter. I would further state that, CAPTURED A PRIZE. KoLtis—' Mr, Allmoney is all smiles." Motty—"' Yes. He has captured a gridiron heroine." Rottis—'A gridiron heroine ?"” owing to my present plans and the scope of work which I Motty—"* Yes; a college girl who really knows how to broil a beefsteak,"" have set myself to do, it will be impossible for me to use t your magazine as a medium for reaching the public in the SOPHRONIA’S SCATHING REBUKE. AeEe Btarel A LOVE DRAMA, Please be Scene—Parlor at Staightly residence. 7ime—Getting along toward ten p.m. assured that at Persons—Miss Sophronia Staightly, young Augustus Snipkin. Argument—Young any time I shall Snipkin, having been calling on Miss Staightly quite regularly for a month, pre- be pleased to sumes upon a footing of familiarity warranting sweet privilege. receive copies of your maga- zine, and that they will be carefully read. No magerine, [UI however, will i hereafter be re- turned to you Vounc snip. unless accom- KIN (turning his Panied by full head and looking Postage. back)—Yes, Miss Again ex Staightly ? pressing my re- See aoucr. fet that I find pail, DESCENT OF MAN. ( aphese gn for emblem of the strap-hangers Ly (grave and se- it impossible to jeaeue of America. Respectfully submitted vere) —Mr, Snip- Make use of by one of them. kin, do you not the magazine ; know that it is Which you have so kindly placed before me, and extending wrong, sinful, You my thanks for your courtesy in offering it, I am ] wicked to steal? Yours respectfully, © A. QUILL DRIVER. ie ALLEN HENRY WRIGHT. Youne PKIN—Now, really, Miss Staightly, I—I—I think I will steal a NIPKIN (also rising)—Oh, Lord, Miss Staightly! don’t go to that ally didn’t suppose I needed help. I wouldn't have it for the world. I couldn't think of such a thing. Good-night, Miss Staightly. (Moving toward door.) Miss STAIGHTLY (as young Snipkin takes hold ot the knob)—Er-r-r—Mr. Snipkin ? Younc Swip- | K1N (retaining hold OUR OFFICE-BOY. o of the door-knob) oO* MONDAY mor the boy was hired. —Oh, yes, Miss He went to work like one inspired. Staightly; but— «« T do not care for holidays. Miss STAIGHT- A baseball game? It never pays."” LY (shaking her Says Jim to me, “ He'll get a raise, head disapprov- That boy I hired.” ingly)—There can erie tine On Tuesday he was more inspired. “ Some relati said he, “has wired it, sir! Itis wrong, Grandmother 's ill—perhaps she may ' very wrong ; wick- Be buried on next Saturday.” ed, very wicked ; Says I to Jim, ‘He wants to play, sinful, very sinful, That boy you hired.” to steal, or to even think of stealing. Next Monday morn the boy retired. We did not tell him he was fired. We begged, implored, the boy to stay. pee re ae His grandma left him millions. Say! THE RAGE FOR CHANGE. . We're sorry he has gone away. ‘Antonio wishes the public to know that his business is now «Ng to open the Says Jim to me, “I'm tired!” eutirely up to date. door)—I know it, WALTER BEVERLEY CRANE, Younc Swip- KIN (turning the comicbooks.com