Judge — September 7, 1907 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘THE LOUISA-ANNA LOTTERY. TWO girls 1 ove, and they, like me, Are very fond of potte Louisa fair owns ceramics Of priceless terra-cotter And Anna dark has china, to, And vases quaint and tottery To my collection I would add— But marriage is a lottery, Louisa, Ann—a lottery ! Louisa, you are dear tu me ‘As Anna’s terra-cottery ; And, Anna, you are prized by me As much as I vu's old pottery. I'm half inclined to bigamy, Louisa-Anna lottery. And yet I dare not take a chance With fragile terra-cottery— Dear girls, I am so tottery ! Oh, Dresden-fair Louisa is, And Wedgwood-dark dear Ann to me! I prize them both as pottery, To place in my ‘what-not "-tery. But Antiques are a lottery, Louisa, Ann—a lottery! WALTER BEVERLEY CRANE, JUDGE'S FAVORITES. MARRIET BURT IN ‘THE Time, THe pLace | WHAT SHE BROUGHT HARRY. AND THE orm." HE had a grip in one hand, a big Tye tone the frenzied trams, bunch of wild-flowers in the other, Should be exposed for fair, . For see the frenzied Jam a- a long mountain-stick under her Bout the playhouse where you are. sight arm, as she got off the train. As she pushed her way through the crowd co the waiting-room half a dozen men’s hats were knocked off by the alpenstock and a score of people received a blow from it. After waiting a few moments she started on her way again, More hats were sent flying, and every time,the woman turned to the right or left someone felt the weight of the staff. She seemed worried and offered no apologies, although she must have caught such expressions as ++ Fool woman!" + Those confounded trees they bring home !” “Only a woman would attempt it!” etc. One man started to argue the matter, but her attention being suddenly called in another direction, he got a second blow from the stick that sent him about his business. Finally she emerged from the depot and started to board a crowded street-car, Then that mountain-staff seemed to be in everybody's way. First it got twisted so that she was unable to get on the steps. Then one end of it smashed the conductor in the eye. The next victim was a nerv- ous old woman, and as her bon- net was sent flying through, the window she yelled ‘* Police!” and “Murder!” and created no little excitement. Many others were more or less damaged before the woman gained her seat, and a sigh of relief went up from the passengers when she finally got settled. In getting off the car later on, however, almost the same performance was gone through with; and before the wo- man with the stick reached the pavement more than one man was reaching for his hat and muttering threateningly. She found her hus- band waiting to help her off the car, and as soon as she caught sight of him she exclaimed indig- nantly, “Well, you're a nice one, you are! Why weren't you at the depot to meet me?” “+L was,” he coolly replied. “You were? And you never COMPROMISED WITH HIS LORDSHIP. Rurert—"‘Lord Notasent asked me to teach him how to play poker. Epirna—"* And you?” Rurert—** Compromised by lending him a hundred dollars.”* your arm. Any male escort with you would have been torn to pieces,” + But—but I brought it home for you, Harry.” “Oh, did you, dear?” he said with a smile. + Weil, we'll put it down cellar, and any time I get tired of life I'll go out and get on a crowded street-car with it.” Am tees, MORE THAN A THREE-MINUTE JOB, Farmer Nubbins (just back from an excursion to N ara Falls)—* Maria, you remer ber that knockulist chap, or what- ever they call ‘em, who wuz down to the Corners a spell ago brag- gin’ around that he could remove any cataract inside o° three min- utes, don’t you ?” Maria—" Yes.” Farmer Nubbins—“ Wa-al, by gum! I'd like to be on hand when he tackles Niagara.” MISSED OPPORTUNITIES. ] WAS twenty, more or tess, Several years ago. What my age was really—guess! Several years ago I had money—lots of cash. How I might have cut a dash! * And I missed, oh, many a mash Several years ago! But I was a modest man Several years ago; Lived upon a different plan Several years ago. Never “hung up” things, alas! Paid my tradespeople en masse, All which branded me an ass, Several years ago! TA TOUCHE HANCOCK SURE ENOUGH. Caterpillar— My | isn't that a tall man?” Centipede—* Think so?” Caterpillar — “Of course. Why, he stands over seven feet, at least.” Centipede—" That's nething spoke to me!" ON THE GOLF-LINKS. Teekhe mend sisal (over om lot when 1 saw, that) coo “Say, caddy, what is that over there founded mountain- stick under “Yes, sir. Some call it ‘ The Last Hole. cemetery? hundred feet.” comicbooks.com