Judge — August 17, 1907 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“BILL” SHAKESPEARE AND PRESIDENTIAL POSSIBILITIES. ROOSEVELT—«: Oh, be persuaded. "— Troilus and Cressida, Taft—+ Great, and increasing."—Antony and Cleopatra. Fairbanks—« As cold as a snowball. "— Pericles. Hughes—+I am sure you know him well enough."— Much Ado About Nothing. Cannon—* That no particular scandal once can touch.” Sor Measure. Bryan— Shaw— Athens. Knox—« Pray, walk softly ; do not heat your blood."—Fericles. General Public—« Is yet to name the winner."—Cymbeline. THE LUNACY OF LANGUAGE. (4 ]F SPEECH was given to man to express his thoughts, why wasn't he presented with the right kind of speech?” Gunson suddenly inquired, throwing his newspaper on the table. «That is a rather vague question,” said Mrs. Gunson quietly. « Exactly," declared Gunson. + The English language as she is spoken fairly brims over with vague expressions. Why, we say things regardless of their meaning. You say you are going to shell pease when you mean you are going to unshell them. And you deliberately remark that you are skinning a potato when you are really unskinning it. Only yes- terday you told me that I should weed the garden. You wanted me to unweed it. What do you think of my argu- ment?” “Why, the more I think of it the less Tthink of it,” replied Mrs. Gunson. “There you go!” Sputtered Mr. Gunson. “You think a great deal of it, and at the same time you think very little of it. To-day I met Gaffer. I told him that I passed him on the street yesterday and that he never noticed me. He said he never noticed me. Is there any sense in that species of talk? Why, only this morning I handed my umbrella to the boy at the office and told him to put it up. He wanted to know why I asked him to put the umbrella up when there wasn’t any rain. Then I told him to put it up in the closet, and he replied that he couldn't do it and make the door shut. So I fired him.” «With a match ?” asked Mrs. Gunson. “See?” snapped Gunson, joyfully grasping a point fa- vorable to his argu- ment. ‘It is utterly Measure “Go back again."—The Comedy of Errors. Being of no power to make his wishes good."—7imon of NOT A JOYFUL PROSPECT. “+1 suppose you are full of joyful expectations over your forthcoming marriage ?"" “Not on your life! I've been married before. just the gambier's chance with me." A MISFIT. “The price is all right, but, great quacks: they'd have to be altered a lot.”* THE FINANCIAL SIDE OF IT. Miriam—“ A gypsy woman told me to-day that I would be married Inside of a year. She said sh Buty Gornam (gloomily)— ing from to pay for it?” impossible to get away from idiotic expressions. ould see a wedding-ring upon my finger. “Could she see where the coin was com- Now that I have for- tified myself with sufficient ammunition to clinch my argument, I'm going to take a run down to lunacy of the English lan- guage. While I'm away you might occupy your time by thinking about this curious state of affairs.” “IfT think about it, plied Mrs. Gunson wearily, “Tl think about it.” PERRINE LAMBERT. ANYTHING BETTER THAN HOME. 46] AM sick to death of everything,” said the society woman, ** Let's spend this evening where we've never spent one before.” « Agreed !" said her hus- band. «Shall we try home or church?” “Church,” she replied, sighing. HALF FARE. Conductor—" That child must be large for his age.” Mother—* Oh, no. This car is just small for its age.” LONDON milkman, while serving a customer, says the Lancet, was asked if he could guarantee the purity of the milk. “Oh, yes,” he replied. “It has been paralyzed by the public anarchist.” the club and create a discussion on the A PROFESSIONAL WOMAN. EXPERIMENTS MADE WITH FOOD. A professional woman in New York, connected with one of the large institu- tions there, has had a curious experience in using a certain kind of food. It seems she had a serious illness and was at the pest of death, the brain and body in the jast stages of exhaustion. She writes as follows : “I have no objection to the public knowing of the wonderful transformation my system has undergone by the use of Grape-Nuts, I began using the food when convalescing and while in an exceedingly low condition. I used a small quantity, and became so fascinated with the flavor that I gradually discontinued nearly all other food, including tea and coffee. “T have gained twenty pounds in flesh, and ama marvel to all my friends, who know of my former state of health. There are about fifty families who have adopted the use of Grape-Nuts because of my ex- perience.” The makers of Grape-Nuts select cer- tain parts of the grains of the field that contain delicate particles of phosphate of potash and albumen. These elements, when combined in the human body, go directly to rebuild the gray matter in the brain and nerve centres of the body. This is a demonstrated fact, and can be proven by anyone who cares to make the test. When one nourishes and builds up the brain and nerve centres, that is prac- tically the keynote to the whole health proposition, for when the nervous system is in perfect poise all parts of the body re- spond. * There's a Reason.” Read “* The Road to Wellville” in packages, comicbooks.com