Judge — August 10, 1907 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FRUITLESS VERSE. ey N° a sentimental lay ; This, to make the reader cry In the regulation way That the modern poets try. Ee Not a word of “Me 'nd Si"; Not a hint of * Pitchin’ Hay,” Although you might ask me, Why Not a sentimental lay? eR If my mood were dull and gray Toould write If I should die.” If I did I should but say This to make the reader cry. Let the poet glorify Reminiscences—he may. Pegasus can only fly Tn the regulation way. CORSE aw Still, I seek not to convey Poetry is dead—not I. ‘There are other things to-day That the modern poets try. Try the readers? Well! Good-bye! JUDGE'S FAVORITES, MAUDE ALICE KELLEY IN ‘THE MAID AND Here's my rondeau redoublé— whit WiisonAine,”* Te was started a9 /« guy: When we, lured by your winsome art, Do these silly versts pay? Put up the cash we ill can spare Not a cent! To see you act your witching part, FRANKLIN P. ADAMS. We wish we were the millionaire. TO THE VICTOR— +¢VER honor, I'll tell yer jest how “twas,” said the man with the saffron eye as he stood before the police-judge. «Me an’ Jake wuz both in love wid little Mame. Well, de time came when she had ter pick between de two uv us. Mame, she cast her lamps over him an’ me, like a feller ‘d size up a couple uv easy marks, an’ she sez, ‘To de victor belongs de goils,’ an’ told us ter fight it out, an’ she'd marry de winner. : “I met Jake in a back yard on Christopher Street, an’ we went to it. I won't describe de offensive details to yer honor, but I will s: dat in about three an’ two-thirds minutes, after a spirited encounter, I landed a left to his solar, an’ he wuz down an’ out. [ left him lyin’ dere on de ground an’ walked over ter Barney's ter soak up a couple uv beers in commemyration uv de event; den I cruised around ter Mame's ter claim my skirt. . ++ Now, mebbe yer honor can’t guess what happened while I wuz ay SHE HESIATES t'rowin’ dem beers jitet me. Well, yer honor, dae man Jake recov- Fervie—‘* Oh, come on, Ethel! Let's eloy - , a Ernet—"* Oh, I don't believe | dast. | don't think pa would let me.” ered from his knockout, an’ when I got ter Mame’s room all dat wuz left wuz a note on de ANCIENT POLI- = , - table. + Art,’ she sez, Tics. : = Z k . +I have beat it wid JOSEPH had just = = = PANY Jake. I hate ter pull he out uv de game wid de jack-pot, but when I said I'd marry de best man I thought it would be Jak The prisoner looked full into the face of the judge. “Do yer blame ,me fer gittin’ drunk, yer honor ?” i “Discharged,” SO LONG! AGO. = j replied the eminent Little nephew — oe person evasively as he 1s Grandma, how (old j y = m ; : | slammed the docket are/you? - H f | back on the clerk's Grandma—“l “ 1 . she desk. am seventy-five years hi ‘i, Ape a : t DWIGHT SPENCER ANDERSON. ol.” Little nephew— RARE INDEED. OW rarcly do “Phew! It's so long since you were born these three things meet—a man who I suppose it seems as if it never happened.” data something 6 fitted for it, and any HE man who does es great number of per- ' “Hi say! ‘ow long ‘ave Hi got to wait for those chops Hi sent to be warmed hover ?"" A all for gain does «Why “Ah ot ‘ern up" boss. Yo" tole me to." sons who think he nothing for good. “You blawsted hidiot! cawn't you hunderstand Henglish? Hi sald distinctly to ‘eat ‘em up.” ought to have it. been cast into the pit. TI can't under- stand why Iam a fa- vorite son,” he re- flected. «Father hasn't declined a third term.” Truly politics were deep even in those days. comicbooks.com