Judge — July 27, 1907 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE'S FAVORITES. PAULINE NEFF IN “*THE SOCIAL WHIRL."* What reason now to seek a reason For anything this silly season? Sure, ‘twill be plain to any churl— A girl awhirl ‘s a ** Social Whirl."* THE TIME AND THE PRICE. 4s LJAVE you some good shoes for boys?” asked the mother over the ‘phone. “We have a line of very serviceable knockabout shoes, madam,” replied the sales- man who had responded to the call. ++ What are the prices ?” “Four to eight, one dollar; nine to twelve, a dollar and a quarter; two to five, a dollar and a half, madam.” “‘Tcan't possibly be out shopping at such an outlandish hour as four in the morning, but I'll do my best to get there by seven-thirty ; so please save me a pair at a dollar." THE key to success is not the night-key. = = i YUEN) THE SUBURBAN ENTHUSIAST. “And right here, old man—from here to there, you see—I ve got beans." DIARY OF A SUMMER BOARDER. ONDAY.—Arrived at Squegee-in-the-Fool- kills to-night. The three-mile wagon- ride from the depot to the hotel nearly killed Henrietta, and, as usual, it was all my fault. Asked the farmer who runs the place where the beautiful view of the mountains was, and he brought out a big spy-glass for me to look through. Could see nothing, however. Pro- prietor appears to be very deaf, especially when complaints are made. Henrietta says she will leave for home to-morrow. Tuesday.—Squegee House looks a wreck, and is vastly different from the photographs sent us. Proprietor says mountain air always affects a building that way. Proprietor’s daughter played on the organ three hours last evening, Henrietta complained, but was told there was no extra charge for it. Baby cried most of the night. Henrietta leaves for home to-morrow. Wednesday.— Four fresh, athletic-look- ing youths arrived this morning and immedi- ately took possession of our hammock and the baby’s ball, and gobbled all the eggs in sight to mix with sherry. Henrietta says if I don't thrash them. soundly she will get a divorce. Henrietta leaves for home to-morrow. Thursday.—Remained in my room all day, nursing a black eye that one of the fresh youths gave me when I called him down for making a racket. Hope Henrietta is satisfied. Rag-time music on the organ is driving us crazy. Board paid in advance, or would leave for city on next train, Henrietta leaves for home to-morrow. Friday.—Young men apologized this morning for their freshness, and insisted that Henri- Had.a pleasant day and a share of the fresh eggs and milk. Eye still pains, but things look brighter. Henrietta says she may stay a day or two longer. Saturday.—Weighed myself to-day and found I had only lost eight pounds. Thought the Henrietta more cheerful and eating like a horse. Fresh young men cannot do too much for us—even carrying the baby to sleep. Henrietta says they are perfect gentlemen, and declares I was a fool for calling them down, Agree with that last statement perfectly. Eye looking somewhat better. Henrietta says she will try and stand it two or three days longer. Sunday.—Henrietta’s perfect gentlemen brought us Sunday papers and waited on us all Thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. No more organ-music, as some one punctured its bel- Another favor of the young men, no doubt, Henrietta declares she will stay a month SUMMER PREFERENCES. ‘Tue pucx—'To be sure, yours is a light and airy dwelling; but | prefer mine, with its ccnvenient bath.” etta and I join them at tennis. loss was fully twenty. day. lows. longer. Monday.—One continual round of pleasure. game in the evening with the perfect gentlemen. calling for me to come up and carry the baby to sleep. Tennis and croquet all day. Sat in poker- Henrietta broke it up about nine p. m. by When she found I was fifteen dollars ahead she made me go down again, but the young men had gone. Hen- rietta says she will never go home. Tuesday.—Good-bye, Squegee! We leave for home on the first train in the morning. Sat in a poker-game with Henrietta’s perfect gentlemen to-night and lost $200. Think it was a put-up job, as I had four aces beat- en bya straight flush. Many other suspicious hands. Henrietta’s wails can be heard a mile away. Says she wanted to go home long ago, but I wouldn't let her. Squegee, farewell forever! AB Lewrs, THE SCHOOL OF POLITICS. $6 YVHAT is it when your political rival is indicted for graft- ing ?” asked the teacher. «It is a triumphant vindication of the principle that honesty is the best policy, and that the people may be trusted to keep a watchful eye upon their servants,” responded the class glibly. “And what is it when you are indicted for the same thing ?” It is a malicious, base con- spiracy, and we demand a vindica- tion.” comicbooks.com