Judge, 1907-07-13 · page 10 of 16
Judge — July 13, 1907 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical vignettes typical of Judge magazine's humor: **"The Surgeon's Nightmare"** depicts a surgeon dreaming he's a patient surrounded by colleagues eager to operate on him—each proposing increasingly unnecessary and invasive procedures (removing the spleen, trephining the skull, etc.). The satire critiques medical overtreatment and unnecessary surgery, a common concern in the era. The irony: the surgeon, who routinely operates on others, becomes powerless when roles reverse. The ending reveals he's scheduled to vaccinate a girl he knows doesn't need it—suggesting he'll hypocritically refuse to operate on her, despite advocating unnecessary procedures. **Other short jokes** mock bourgeois life: spousal financial anxiety, seaside resort overpricing, and xenophobic labor concerns about Italian immigrant workers undercutting American jobs. The cartoons use visual humor (a cat with a guitar) alongside text-based jokes, typical of Judge's format blending illustration and comic prose.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE SURGEON'S NIGHTMARE, HE. surgeon dreamed that he was lying in his bed, and that about him were grouped a number of men and women whom he recognized as patients and ex-patients. «The case is perfectly simple,” declared a man on whom he had oper- ated for appendicitis, «It is so simple as to be absurd, and doubtless the doctor would recover readily enough; but to demonstrate the simplicity of his case and the merit of my diagnosis, it will be necessary to operate upon him.” The surgeon dreamed that he knew perfectly well what was wrong with him, and that he did not require an operation ; but he was powerless. + T cannot agree with you," said a second man, whom the surgeon rec- ognized as one from whom he had taken a section of the stomach. “My plan would be to trephine the skull, analyze the brain, and possibly remove the epiglottis and the top of the right lung.”* +A wise suggestion,” agreed another man, «I think, also, that while we are doing this we should lay bare the sciatic nerve and separate it at the knee.” “Yes,” said another man. + And I believe if we would open him up we would find that his liver needs some cutting. Let's do it, anyhow.” ‘All right,” said another. ++ While we are about it, let us remove the IT BECOMES SERIOUS THEN. spleen entirely. Although I think his spleen is healthy at present, this will Sne—" But really, Mr. Jones, ! have never thought seriously " i inst i is in the fe o of marriage.” be a golden opportunity to guard against its bothering him in the ae CT yy aie Wate Wap “gt tated, Fd know."” then they began unpacking boxes of knives and saws, The surgeon tried to cry out, to leap from the bed, but he was powerless. Just then he dreamed that a little girl ran into the room and perched herself on the bed and said, «You shall not operate on him, now—so there! When mamma wanted him to vaccinate me yesterday he said I didn’t need it, as the awful scar on my arm shows that I had my full share of vaccination two years ago.” And then the surgeon awoke and reflected that really he had made an appointment to vaccinate the little girl the next day. But he also conciuded that he would decide she did not need it. THE CONTRARY. 44] DROPPED some money in the market to-lay,” announced Mr. Wyss at the dinner-table. “+ Again ?” exclaimed Mrs, Wyss reproachfully. “No,” replied Mr. Wyss mournfully ; SEASONAL DEFINITIONS. Mrs. Souittsos—"* Just what is a watering-place?”” Mr. Sourtivos—" A place where you spend your money like water.” NOT THE OCEAN. T WAS the morning after their arrival at a seaside resort. “LT have often heard of the roar of the ocean,” she said dreamily, + but I never knew it sounded like that. “That's not the roar of the ocean,” answeret her more experienced husband, + That's the roar of a departing guest who has just been pre- sented with his bill.” TWO VIEW-POINTS. 4s AHL" sighed the friend of American laborers as the train sped past mile after mile of Italian shovelers and graders who toiled over the parallel line, ++ what a blow at our native workingmen !" “Well, well !" exclaimed his seat-mate, How differently the same sight strikes different people! I was just thinking how lonesome it must be in Italy.” ‘THE $1,500 KIND. 4 AH, that’s pretty said Mr. Snooks, looking over a number of archi- ANDIRNOT ES, tectural designs. + What is that?" iA intent wits weiss peels “That,” said the architect, ++is a fifteen-hundred-dollar bungalow.” Was shot by a grouchy dyspeptic. “What will it cost to build it?" asked Mr. Snooks. For he haa lives to burn, ** About $8,000,” said the architect. And his howls rose again, quite pathetic, comicbooks.com