Judge — June 29, 1907 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE'S FAVORITES. IRENE MOBSON IN “THE SOCIAL WHIR Your merry banter as you canter In and out and back and forth Is such a pleasure that the measure Of the same ‘s full money's worth. ASTRONOMY AND A GIRL. THEY were enjoying a quiet stroll out under the star-strewn veil of evening, and he, bashful youth, eagerly grasped a stray oppor- tunity to keep alive the languishing conversa- tion: “Yes, Miss Georgiana; that star over there is the planet Jupiter, which, they say, is about 400,000,000 miles from the earth; and that bright-red planet overhead is Mars, which just now is only a little over 40,000,000 miles away, It's a great question among scientists whether or not there are inhabitants on either of them.” “Well, George,” said the fair listener, in her thirst for astronomical knowledge drawing a trifle closer to her informant, «if there really are, it doesn’t seem to me they're near enough so that they could sce us on a dark evening ‘ike this, even though they were looking this way.” BASE-BAWLED NURSERY RHYMES. JACK ana gin Went up the hill The ball-game for to see. They sat up there Because this pair Lacked the admission fee. Rock-a-bye, baby, nthe treestop. When the wind blows the cradle will rock ; When the bough breaks The cradle will fall, And next time baby will know better than, to climb up there to watch Ag baseball. Little Bo-Peep Has lost her sheep, And I know where she'll find them (This poor little dame). Up at the ball-game, With a lot of « rooters" behind them. CURIOUS. [S87 ita funny thing— Doesn't it seem out of place— That a match should have a head When it hasn't got a face? Isn't it a little strange, After everything is said, That a watch should have a face When it hasn't ‘THOSE DISCOMFITED BAD BOYS. 6s VES," chuckled the old man as he combed his frosted spinach with his gnarled hand; “yes, I reckon that bunch o° rowdy boys got fooled th’ time I took charge o' th’ "Possum Trot school in th’ winter o° ‘fifty-nine. **Y' see, when I went t’ ast fer th’ school them directors looked me over an’ jest fairly haw-hawed. They couldn't reely believe a little skinny splinter of a feller like me was in airnest about want- in’ t’ tackle th’ notorious ‘Possum Trot deestrick boys with th’ wust reputation in seven states. + Wry,’ says one director, * Hank Balderson could turn you wrong-side- out quicker'n scat, an’ he’s only one of about seventeen big bucks that'll be in ‘on ye soon ’s huskin’’s over. You don’t know what you're tacklin’.’ THE POINT AT ISSUE. He—"| tell you I'm always willing to acknowl edge my faults when I see them.” ‘Sue—“'Yes; but the trouble is you never ac- knowledge them when other people see them.” The old man chuckled reminiscently, and stroked the aforesaid bunch ot spinach again. IN THE AIR-SHAFT. During any hot spell in New York. Then he resumed. +«'Nother director said, «Son t'yer ma, Th’ last man them big hulks put out 0° commission would ‘a’ made four o' you an’ had some left over fer th’scrap-pile. What did they do t' him? Jest natchera"'y chased him plumb outen th’ township. That's what they done. “ Th’ third director allowed, + Well, if you ain't got no more sense 'n t’ tackle th’ job, knowin’ what they is t' be knowed about it, sail in, an’ th’ Lord pity yer when th’ big boys takes a notion ye've been there’ long enuff. Sick ‘im, Penny, says I, an’ don't never come runnin’ t’ us fellers fer help.” “Well, I took th’ school. Things run along right peart fer a couple o’ weeks. [ seemed t’ be learnin’ th’ scholars a righ: smart. But everybody shuck their heads over what was comin’ t’ me when th’ big boys should start in. “One morning I found th’ whole drove of ‘em was on hand. I spoke t ‘em friendly like, but not one of ‘em done anything but jest snicker an’ wink at one another. That day things went on jest about like usual, though they was plainly trouble in th’ air. Jest when school let out fer th’ afternoon two o' th’ big- gest chaps started fer me, I stood my ground until they got within about fifteen feet o’ me, an’ then I pulled out "—— “Yes, grandpa !" eagerly interrupted the breathless boy who was gulping down the Trowbridge literature with both eyes, mouth, and whatever other features have apertures in them, + You pulled out "—— “You jest bet I pulled out!" chuckled the old man reminiscently. “+1 was a good sprinter in them days, an’ sech a job 0” pullin’ out o' that deestrick was never seen before ner sence, I reckon,” STRICKLAND W, GILLILAN, ss] NOTICED the other day that a couple of thieves in Chicago stole some pies and a watch, “Yep. They had probably been reading up on hygiene, and knew that it required time to digest pi comicbooks.com