Judge — June 22, 1907 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ACROSS THE COURT. ACROSS the court they flirted when She defily with her fountain-pen Made curlycues upon her pad, Or, pounding on the keys, was glad see him gazing now and then, Surrounded there by busy men, She viewed him in his little den, And wafted all the love she had Across the court. Ile gladly gave the preacher ten. The dove became a pecking hen— How oft the love-god’s aim is bad! ‘The gray judge listened, and was sad To see them as they glanced again Across the court. AT THE MINSTREL SHOW. Mr. Bones —** Ah-ab-ab-ah-ah, Mistah Interlocutor—M-m-m-m-mis- tah Interlocutor 2” Inter locutor —" Mr. Bones, please don't slide that way when you talk, What can Ido for you, sir?” Mr, Bones— 1-1-1-1-1. got a-a a puzzle fo" yo". Interlocutor—"* \ puzzle for me, ch? Well, send it along, Mr. Bones ; but do stop that sliding when you talk.” Mr, Bones— Wow-w-w-w-w-what would yo’ call a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a man dat wuz bo'n in Germany, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah educated in Spain, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah lived in Italy, an’ ah-ah-ah-ah died in de United States?” Interlocutor—" Let me see, now. The puzzle is, what would I call a man who was born in Germany, edu- cated in Spain, lived in Italy, and died in the United States? That's too much for me, Mr. Bones, so we'll just let you answer it yourself.” Mr, Bones—* \-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-0'd call him a dead one, sah. Interlocutor—** Very good, Mr. Bones— very good, sir! And now Mr. Se isan, ON THE JOB. “+ Does your husband want a job, Mrs. McGuire?” but if you've got one for him I'll make him take it. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. BLANCHE DEYO AS ‘LA BELLE Lisst'’ IN ‘THE SPRING CHICKEN.” With charming sweep and swish and swirl You gyroscopically unfurl A spectral maze That makes us gaze Until our heads are all awhir!. WHERE THEY SHOULD GO FOR THE SUMMER. GALOON-KEEPERS—Bar Harbor. Card-players—Deal Beach. Flour-merchants—Rye. Depositors—Red Bank. Wrestlers—Freehold. Pigcon-fanciers—Dover. Pugilists—Bangor. Quarrymen—Rockaway. Bones will kindly favor us with that touching little ballad en- titled, * Papa, get the hammer ; there’s a fly on baby's head.’ ” THE ADVANTAGE OF READING. Ae Lewis. pardon, sir," said the weary hobo as Qauh/ f4 PLEASURES OF MEMORY. he stood at the farm-house door, but ""F% = : a 4s] BEG your pardon, but I haven't site have we not met some- where before?" he asked, ap- proaching the lady as she was making mysterious marks in the sand with her parasol. She looked at him curiously for a moment, and then replied, not without a certain sense of pleasure, “Of course we have! We were engaged for a week and a half three summers ago.” might I sleep in your barn to-night ? had a roof over my head for ten days.” “+L congratulate you,” said the kindly farm- er. ‘That is a splendid thing. I have just read in one of my ten-cent magazines that it is not too much to say that.to the delicate, highly-strung, easily-knocked-up in- dividual the advantages of sleeping in the open air are enormous. Pallid cheeks take on a ruddy hue, colds are unknown, nerves are for- A small plot and OFF TO THE POND. ** Going to leave us, Mr. Duck “Yes. I'm going to a watering-place for the summer.” gotten, and irritability becomes a phase of the past. a little perseverance are the only necessaries, and the re- sult is assured. You are very » | rn IL ! I welcome to the use of my po- tato-patch, and my sky is at your disposal." i) ie. NO DANGER WHATEVER. $60 THE grand jury has in- dicted your father for Violating the anti-rebate law ? I hope they won't send him to jal” “Oh,” the beautiful heir- ess replied with splendid con- fidence, “there isn't any dai ger of that. Papa is no fool. He has made all arrangements to prove that the rebates were obtained by the office-boy while WHAT UPSET HIM. “Hullo! there's Jaggers. | thought he reformed.” “He did, but he got married afterward.” he was suffering with a brain. storm,” comicbooks.com