Judge — June 22, 1907 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HE JEST WANTED TO SAY. T WAS clear that he was from the country. For several minutes he stood on the side- walk, oblivious to the smiles and comments of passers-by, gaping up at the top story of a tall trust-company building across the way. Then he scratched his head and stroked his chin. + Wa-al," he muttered, “it may be all right, I suppose, but I might as well find out for sartin. He crossed the street, pushed his way into the trust-company offices, and approached the nearest window. The brass plate over it was inscribed, * New Accounts.” «Well sked the man behind the window without looking up from his ledger. **Wa-al," drawled the man from the country, “it may be all right an’ correct, uv course ; but while 1 wuz lookin’ over” «The book-keeper ‘Il fix that for you. Third window to the left.” After a slight hesitation the countryman doubtfully made his way over to the book- keeper's window. “Well, sir, what can we do tor you?” demanded the book-keeper. “ Nothin’, 1 don’t know why they sent me over to you—I ain't got any account here, I wuz jest wonderin’ LOOK PLEASANT, PLEASE. whether you happened . A bear, who was anxious to please, to know "—— Grabbed a hunter who shook at the knees; “Information de- Then he said with a grin, t” said th As he hugged him right in, partment, suc the “* Look pleasant, for I'm the main squeeze!” book-keeper brusquely. “Sixth window to the right.” The countryman started to say something, but the book-keeper had re- sumed his writing. He walked over to the * information " window. “Say !" he opened up, without waiting for an invitation, “you folks needn't be so tarnation flossy. I jest wanted to tell yer durned old company that their "—— **Complaint department. Last window, rear," growled the clerk. The countryman glared, For a moment he seemed undecided ; then, his jaws set with determination, he strode down to the complaint window. ++ Well, what's the trouble with you ?" demanded the complaint clerk. * Ain't none!” snapped the countryman, «+I jest wanted to say to yer gosh-hlamed old company that it appears to me as how their buildin’ is "— But he got no further. +‘ Fire! fire! fire!" came the cry from all parts of the building. Instantly everything became bustle and confusion. « Fire! fire !"* + Humph !" grunted the disgusted countryman as he followed the crowd out. «They'd a-knowed it a half an hour ago if they'd only listened to me.” kourKe AUD WHITING. HIS PROMISE FULFILLED. S6YOU told me,” she said with a pout, three months after their marriage, THOSE STAGE JEWELS. “that you intended to die a bachelor.” Snorrer—"' 1 want t ta bag to give an actress-friend of . eine te Carry her joes tn bhen Wewteg” “To all intents and purposes,” he sadly replied, #1 have lived up to Suorman—" Would the ordinary dress-sult case be large my declaration. 11am known now merely as my wife's husband.” enovg! HENPECKED. A HALF a hundred hens one day— At least the story goes— Talked o'er their rights and wrongs, and then In hot rebellion rose. The rooster had been lord of all— A cruel tyrant he. They sought to take him down a peg Or two, or maybe three. One squawk, then at him did they fly And picked and scratched like They drove him here and dragge: And used him very bad. The wrath of months fell on his head ; The job was very cle: He looked as though he'd filtered through A harvesting machine. And since that day the world has come To this conclusion terse : ‘A henpecked man looks bad enough, A henpecked rooster worse STERN NECESSITY. 466] SAW you riding in the park yesterday,” she said. “My physician has ordered me to ride - *"' 'iithyi\! lor exercise MASTER OF THAWS. ‘+1 Judged from:your expression that’ you “Say, sonny, want a job helping me freeze some ice-cream?” weren't doing it for fen. “Don't know much about freezin’ it, sur; but I'm a regular dab at thawin’ it.” comicbooks.com