Judge — June 15, 1907 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HOW SHE HAPPENED. RE favored by one of our learned friends with the following account e creation of woman, It is trans- lated from an old Sanskrit book entitled, «The Surging of the Ocean of Time": WOMAN. Tradition Says There Was a Scarcity of | Solid Elements at the Time of Her Creation, At the beginning of time, Twashtri— the Vulcan of the Hindu. mythology— created the world, But when he wished jo ereate a Woman he found that he had employed all his material in the creation ofman, There did not remain one solid gement. Then Twashtri, perplexed, fell into a profound meditation. He roused himself as follows : He took the roundness of the moon, the undulations of the serpent, the en- twining of climbing plants, the trembling of the grass, the slenderness of the rose- mae and the velvet of the flower, the lightness of the leaf and the glance of the fawn, the gayety of the sun's rays and tears of the mist, the inconstancy of the wind and the timidity of the hare, the anity of the peacock and the softness of the down on the throat of the swallow, the hardness of the diamond, the sweet favor of honey and the cruelty of the nger, the warmth of fire, the chill of snow, the chatter of the jay and the cooing of the turtle-dove. He united all these and formed a woman. Then he made a present of her to man. Fight days later the man came to Twashtri and said : “My lord, the creature you gave me poisons my existence. She chatters with- rest, she takes all my time, she ats for nothing at all and 1s always ill. And Twashtri received the woman gain. But eight days later the man came again to the god and said : My lord, my life is very solitary since I returned this creature. | remember she glanced at me from the corner of her ee, and she played with me, clung to me.” And Twashtri returned the woman to Three days only passed and Twashtri ‘oming to him again. ." said he, “1 do not under- sand exactly how, but I am sure the woman causes me more annoyance than pleasure. I beg of you to relieve me of ber.”” But Twashtri cried, * Go your way and éo your best !” And the man cried, “I cannot live with her !* Neither can you live without her,” replied Twashtri. THE PROGRAMME, The usher led him to his seat, ‘And then with manner grand The usher stepped upon his feet ‘And thrust into his hand A pudgy book—a smudgy book— A programme of the play ; Then with a sympathetic look The usher went away. The orchestra struck up 2 tune, The footlights gave a flash, The ‘cello droned a languid croon, The drums set off a crash ; And then the man said, «I must look At this if | would know.” He opened then the pudgy book And hunted for the show. He read of facial creams that give Rare beauty to the cheek ; He read of cures that make you live Forever and a week ; He saw the corset-lady's face That seemed immensely pleased Because with geometric grace She hadsbeen tightly squeezed. The curtain rose, but he read on Through page and page and page; The actors all had come and gone, The curtain hid the stage. Then came another overture, But still he flipped the leaves And murmured, “I will find it sure, Unless this thing deceives.” He found the hair-that-won't-come-off If Growit is applied ; He found that Checkitt cures a cough— And wearily he sighed, It must be here ; I'll find it yet And then he read and read— Upon the stage the hero met The villain—shot him dead. The play was done, the crowd filed out, | All save this lonely man, | Who eyed the programme with deep | doubt In his bewildered scan. | The usher came and said, “That's all.” The man would still pursue The advertisements large and small— He was not half-way through, They led him forth a shattered wretch Who babbled as he went; An ambulance they had to fetch. Now in the ward he's pent, And still imaginary leaves He turns, and stops to say, As one who in vain questing grieves, “+ | wonder what's the play —Chicago Evening Post. WHEN perfect pleasure and thorough relaxation are the aim, and nothing but the finest accessories are in keeping with the occasion, the discriminating smoker chouses MUIRAD CIGARETTES Their inimitable richness, combined as it is with pleasing mildness, has made unassail- able their position as “THE METROPOLITAN STANDARD” 10 for 15 cents S. ANARGYROS, Mfr. 111 Fifth Ave., New York And the man was sorrowful, murmur- ing, “Woe is me! I can neither live| with her nor without her.” — Chicago Record-Herald, | REAL SANGUINITY. The palm for sanguinity is here awarded 'oMrs. Mary Wood, of Portland, Ore- f09, who at the age of one hundred and six has just paid five years’ subscription "© a magazine, in advance. — Buffalo ‘ews ‘THEN IT’S TRUE. ss they've caught that wife- nurderer. Anything in the papers about it but I saw several women with § bunches of flowers hurrying toward the jail a little while ago. Feelin iain SHAKE INTO YOUR SHOES Foot-Ease, a powder. Tt cures painfal, amart- Sy. mrvous, feet and” mngrowing walls and Hatantly tthe ating out of corms and. unions I Flset comfort discovery of the age. Alien's Foot: se mates tghe ‘or new shoes feel easy. [2 care for sweating. callous, swollen tired, aching [St Try ie today. Sold by all Druggiste and Shos | Sr gl i sein tape how ar ral packege FREE. Address, Alien § lasted, Le Roy, NY." SEASHORE AND COUNTRY COMBINED. Public Garage and Auto Supplies. 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