Judge — June 8, 1907 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIMERICK LIVES OF THE ILLUSTRIOUS. IS Odell of New York, Who courted the vote-bringing stork ; But the masses said nay, And our boss slipped away Like a pea rolling off from a fork. Pp IS Parkhurst, who guilelessly thought He could make New York live as it ought, Some day he'll take pity On the heavenly city And have it reformed on the spot. Vhite House example Hear” tribe, now so ample. heir, ta stuffed “Teddy Bear” As an antisrace-suicide sample. R 15 fir Root, bringing loot From his late South American * toot.” And nobody wondered At gifts by the hundred Picked up by our tourist en Root. A MYSTERY HERE, 46] CAN'T understand my wife,” sai man with the worried eyes. she will break me of smoking.” + Lots of women are that way,” observed the other man. + But she keeps on buying cigars by the box for me." A STRANGE INCIDENT. nbitious young humorist had received from the editor his offering of ANOTHER CAUSE FOR DIVORCE. jokes. The habit of arranging hubby's tie on the street. *L wonder why he didn’t take them," said the young humorist sadly. *«T shouldn't be surprised,” said his wife, f the editor isn’t one of these men who don’t understand a joke until it has been explained to them. If I were you I should send them back to him, with a kind little note telling him what the point is in each one.” The humorist did so. To his great surprise, the editor accepted his explan tions. AT THE STATION. WHEN people ride in airships Through a wild far-western WHY HE STAYS AWAY. Mrs. Jones—" Do you feel that when your husband is away from home he is thinking of you?” Mrs, Smith—“Yes, He thinks of me, and that’s why he stays away.” THE INEXORABLE LAW. 66CIR," we said timidly to the coal-man, who is idly toying with the massive jew- cled seal on his heavy gold town, Then robbers cannot hold them up Unless they hold them down. OUT OF THE HYMN- BOOK. AMINE . having given out his + notices,” was ahout to read his hymn, when he was reminded of one he had forgotten. Stopping, he made this announcement, apologiz- ing for his forgetfulness. Then, much to the amusement of his audience, he began to line out the hymn as follows : “Lord, what a thought- less wretch am I!” WORKS BOTH WAYS. 66 \JHAT is that you are tak- WwW ing?” asked the wife. * Quinine and whiskey for my cold,” replied the husband. + Do you take the whiskey to hide the quinine?” “Yes; that’s j “But you always say you dislike the taste of whiskey “So ldo. I take the qui- nine to disguise the taste of the whiskey—don't you see?” Mrs. Kane— NOT IN THOSE DAYS. Who was Jael?"* “She's the woman who slew Sisera with a hammer.” Did she go on the vaudeville stage afterward ?"" watch-guard, “pray tell us why coal is so much cheaper in April than it is in October. * “It is the law of demand and supply,” he responded. “Would you mind ex- plaining what you mean by thos= familiar words ?” “Not atall, We demand the money and you supply it.” COURTEOUS MULE. BILLY was a knowing mule, Who followed up the golden rule: When made a target for a brick He always curtsey'd with a kick. THE WRETCH! HAT man Kiddem is a scoundrel—an unprinci- pled scoundrel!" declared the man with the harried look in his eyes. “Can it be?” asked the man with the near-gold chain. “Yes, The cur! He as ed my wife to elope with him.” “And then "— “And then, when she had agreed, he told her he was only fooling.” comicbooks.com