Judge — May 25, 1907 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE TABLET IS THERE, 46] WAS in the town where you were born, the oth- er day,” said the friend of the eminent author. ‘Indeed? Quaint little place, isn’t it?" observed the eminent author. es. While I was there a friend of mine pointed out the little house in which you first saw the light of day.” “Is it possible? I did not think the building was stand- ing ye “Oh, yes. It is tolerably run down, but still is a rather hy) Vif Mf aC respectable-looking building. By the way, the city recently placed a handsome tablet on the side of the house.” Put a tablet on the house in which I was born! Well, well! Now, After all, it goes to show that the folks among whom one was reared, while they know all his faults, are still prone to cherish his virtues, to see the good there is in him, and to rejoice in doing the kindly little things, in paying the friendly tribute that means so much, doesn’t it? By the way—er—ah—er—do you happen to recollect the wording of the tablet?” «Yes. It says * Main Street.’” “You don't say! that is certainly handsome of the city. THE DIFFER- ENCE. SOYVHAT is the dife ference"— began the co- nundrum fiend. By the time he had got so far most of the crowd had found excuses for departure. butted in with, THE INSULTED PARROT. Tue rarror (hotly)—"* Darn that chain! If it was only a little longer I'd fix you! Submitted by a graduate from Juvce’s amateur page. But the human goat remained and “What's the difference between what 2” Between stopping a street-car, a horse and a railroad train,” Needless to say, the h. g. gave it up. “One stops when hailed, another when reined, and the other when due.” CLOSE FIGURING AT THE BOARDING-HOUSE, THE boarding-house keeper said to the servant preparing the dinner, ** Mary, will the strawberries go round ? “Hardly, mum,” replied the servant. «There's one strawberry short." THe SALESLADY Smart customer— PRETENDING. ** Mother, may I p'etend I'm a lion?" No, dear. You'll make too much noise.”* “ But if you p'etend you're another lion you won't mind the noise,” Tne savestapy—" Wait a moment. AN aN h Wi yf Uy) FREEDOM OF THE TRAIN-ANNOUNCER. ** Allaboardforthezizzumptyumpty&allpointsty- zazzum! ABOARD!! Yes, | lost my last job. Boss sald i had too much to say. I say what I like ere. HE DIDN'T WAIT. What would you like, sir?" A nice little kiss, please." Mr. Booker, here's a gentleman wants a kiss!"" BREVITY. JF YOU'RE going to make a speech, Cut it short ; If you've simply got to preach, Cut it short. If you feel you're going to stray From the path of virtue, say, Only goa little way— Cat it short, saat s. stixsox. READY REPARTEE. AGGSBY was busily engaged one blustery spring day in assisting his wife with her house-cleaning. Just as he had started to fas- ten down the parlor carpet Waggsby came in and jocosely remarked, «Pretty bad day for driving, isn't it?” + Oh, [don’t know,” was the reply, «It's so windy a fellow has no difficulty in tack- ing.” Whereupon they all laughed heartily. comicbooks.com