Judge, 1907-05-18 · page 7 of 16
Judge — May 18, 1907 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical story contrasts rural Vermont simplicity with New York City's bewildering modern slang and pace. Uncle Daniel, a country visitor, asks a Broadway actor for a match. The actor responds with urban slang—"Naw!" and incomprehensible phrases like "skiddoo" and "23"—that completely baffle the straightforward Vermonter. The joke targets **1900s Manhattan's rapid urbanization and the "speed mania"** that Daniel observes: even a simple request for a match becomes a cryptic mathematical riddle. The Thespian represents the affected, fast-talking city dweller speaking an impenetrable dialect to ordinary people. The accompanying cartoon "The Age" satirizes modern industrial society's trivial concerns (lemons for lighting pipes, eggs quality), suggesting the era lacks noble purpose compared to historical "ages." The page demonstrates *Judge* magazine's consistent theme: rural American bewilderment at urban modernity and incomprehensible city culture.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
UNCLE DANIEL DEWBERRY AND MANHATTAN SLANG. UNCLE DANIEL DEWBER- RY, from up Vermont way, stood in front of one of the big Broadway theatres and fished in the pockets of his corduroy pan- taloons for a match, Failing to find one, he approached a Sphinx- featured Thespian who stood near by, airing the homeliest bull-ter- rier ever seen outside of Newport soci Lister, could you oblige me with a match?” drawled Un- cle Daniel The Thespian drew himselt up with Manstieldian dignity. + Naw !" he blurted. “What did you say, neigh- persisted Uncle Daniel. Isaid naw. Do ye under- “Can't say that Ido, Our THE AGE. schools down home teach yeou to First soanoer—-* Itwas an easy matter to classify the stone age, the bronze age, etc.: but this age, with its say no.. Haven't they any school: many and wondrous inventions, what name will fit?" . 'y no. Havent they any schools Secowo poarver—'* Judging by the eggs (and other grub) we get nowadays, it strikes me stor-age would be here in Noo York ? about right."” + But what do [want with a lemon? I can't light my pipe with a lemon, by gum ! + Aw, beat it + Beat wh ++ Skiddoo «And what is 2 + Ain't yer wise, old glucos + But what is 232” The fuming Thespian let out a link in the chain of the frothing buil-terrier. “Say, you, listen! 23 is sixteen and seven, That's your number, Just mark down thirteen and add ten, That for yours—sce? Are you on or off? Woof !" The Thespian blew a puif of smoke from a purple- banded cigar into the face of Uncle Daniel and then strode with the walking-beam strides of the heavy « al, by gum !" soliloquized Uncle Daniel as he mer purchase on the handle of his yellow satchel. “always did hear that the speed mania here in Noo York was turning the town into a big insane-asylum, and now I know it. Ask a man for a match and he wants to hand ycou a package of lemons to light ycour pipe with. “Why does Margaret cry so?" Crazy? Why, the whole darned teown is as crazy as ‘She isn’t happy with her husband.”* loons.” “Then why doesn't she divorce him?” - “+ She says she wouldn't be happy without him.” And then Uncle Daniel Dewberry put his pipe in his pocket and went over and took a train for the sugar- The board-treader looked trees of old Vermont, VICTOR A. HeRMAKN: as though he was about to ex- plode. THE METROPOLITAN THE RESULT Lager poe ni i HABIT. of intelligent, painstaking care of the scalp sere Back 19 the: maple: [8_ AN Htalian mission- is healthy hair trees for yours ! hool in New York Cit Uncle Daniel twitched his seheo! ve y 9 little , the teacher was giving a les- fie earroty goatee in MIS son on the life of Lincoln ied study. ‘ + And remember, chil- “Tdon't understand, Ve Se : dren,” she said earnestly, neighbor,” he drawled finally. 1 ton tincotn went ap ar Oo a “Tasked you for a match." ‘ sou ( school it wasn’t as easy for ‘ “Yes; Til hand you a him as it is for you. He Pure as the Pines package, old sugar-face ! had to walk miles and miles ++ A package of matches ? Why, by heck! I only need walt for over a third of a century has been rec- and miles.” ognized as an ideal soap for shampooing. techie + Why didn’t he ask for Jr not only cleans the scalp, but imparts ‘one match. a transfer?” asked a little vigor to those glandular structures which Nii not : package of boy on the front seat. are intimately concerned with the growth matches. I'll hand you a lemon and vitality of the hair. cTHE LOST BALL. 4 —big, juicy lemon.” Its use means a clean, healthy scalp, This certainly beats all! Here +A lemon?” THE real people never get and lustrous, luxuriant hair. some queer bird has gone and laid a . queerer egg into my nest.” “Sure! A ripe lemon. swell. “The Packer Mig. Co., New York City. comicbooks.com