Judge — April 27, 1907 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WHAT MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED. AN EPISODE AT A RAILROAD CROSSING. OD was wise in making man RELATED IN FOUR ACTS. Last of all, when He began, Since, when Cosmos was expected, Some would surely have objected, Claiming, spite of newer lights, Chaos had some * prior rights"; And perhaps the universe Might take on a change for worse! Writ on fig-leaves, in solu Something called a constitution, On which, to make sure of it, . A perpetual court should sit. 1, Farmer Briggs and his hired man proceed to town with the fatted bull. And in speeches strong and hearty “Oo ‘They'd have damned the Cosmic party; = Called them evilly disposed (Maybe God had been deposed) Any! the Chaos faction Would have plead for slower action— Met and grieved in resolutions Over ancient institutions Which served so long. "Twas thus Quite a lucky thing for u That most ancient things were banished When the night of Chaos vanished, AlLour protests thus forestall Otherwise—the thought 's appalling !— What a host of men we know Would defend the status quo! JOSE DANS wILLIBK QUANTITATIVE DISTINCTION. Mrs. Knicker— Does your hus- band go out between the acts?” Mrs, Bocker— No; be comes in the theatre between drinks.”” THE DEVOUT PERSON. NCE upon a time there was a very devout person who was given a package of medicine. It was one of those free-distribution at it contained he knew not, but it was free ; therefore he could not, con- sistently with his religiously-held scru- ples against wastefulness, throw it away. So he took the medicine, entire, ac- cording to directions, The remedy chanced to contain a large quantity of calomel. The same day some one handed him a lemon, The edible kind. That self-same principle of econ- omy induced him also to eat the citrus offering. 4. In fact, the bull becomes excessively and wildly interested in that red flag—and the flagman. On the following day a quavering voice was heard in this.devout person's apartments, singing that old, old THE HYPOTHETICAL QUESTION. hymn, «I'm glad salivation ’s free.” SeMISS RRITTLY,” said the young lawyer with the high brow That will be about all at this'time concerning the devout person. and the Henry Clay forelock, let me ask you a hypothet- STREEREANO WoGHLDAN: “jeal question. Suppose that a young man of excellent habits and increasing income—a young man who believed himself fully capa- ble of making a woman happy—were to appear before a young woman who had eyes of rare and radiant lustre and hair of the tex- ture and glory of spun gold; whose lips were more perfect than Hogarth’s line of beauty; whose cheeks held a tint that put to shame the magnificent pink of the rose-petal—a young woman whose culture and charm easily placed her immeasurably above all other women in the world, and he were to ask this young woman it she would "— “Oh, Mr. Blackstone!” she whispered, sinking into his arms. AN EXPERT. Kwicxer—** That doctor is a famous alienist."* Bocxer—‘* You don't say! Whose affections did he alienate?” A LIrtL® philanthropy covers a multitude of fraud. comicbooks.com