Judge, 1907-04-06 · page 6 of 16
Judge — April 6, 1907 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical commentary on early 20th-century American life, mixing limericks, jokes, and social observation: **"Garfield" limerick**: References someone in the beef industry (likely tied to Armour meat-packing), suggesting they're "armor-proof" against criticism—a swipe at corporate insulation from accountability. **"Primer Lesson"**: Mocks a writer whose marriage has reversed his economic complaints. He once satirized women's penny-pinching; now *his* wife spends freely on spring fashions—ironic comeuppance. **"Dealing in Futures"**: Jokes about wives calculating not past spending but *future* dress budgets—suggesting women's endless consumption planning. **"Well-Bred Woman"**: Satirizes Old Money (Knickerbocker) snobbery toward New Money. A wealthy woman's humble bakery origins disqualify her from "breeding," despite her wealth and appearance. **Minor jokes**: Address pedestrian safety, poetic mechanics, American naval dominance, and Broadway's social mixing. The tone throughout is comedic social criticism targeting class pretension, consumer culture, and gender dynamics of the era.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LIMERICK LIVES OF THE ILLUSTRIOUS. 'S Garfield, who's rather aloof From reporting on ‘hide, horn and hoof"; Bat in sizing up beef It is common belief That he's entirely Armour-proof. A PRIMER LESSON. SFE the man. Is he not working hard? Just see how he is dashing off jokes and things! He is the man who used to write playful witticisms about a woman shopping all day on fifteen cents, And now? Ah, he is married now—and his wife is down town getting her spring outfit. DEALING IN FUTURES. eeTHATS right,” said Mr. more, seeing his wife busily jotting down some figures. **Calculating how much you have spent on your Easter outfit, are you?” ++No," she replied calmly. “Iam making up my appropriation for summer dresses and hats.” A WELL-BRED WOMAN. INSULTED. OMEN find a Miss New Yorker—"'I'm afraid you offended that Boston friend - of yours, father.”* fe cg tar Slight Mr. New Yorxer—" How s0?"" in saying agreea- Miss New Yorxer—“* You told him he didn't know beans!" ble things about each other when they have a real good opportunity. There was a great charityfest in progress at one of the fashionable hotels not many afternoons ago, and one of the Knick- erbockers was showing’ a non-resident about among the booths. Presently a handsome woman, handsomely gowned and a thoroughbred as far as the eye could detect, passed by them. She was not a Knickerbocker, however. Indeed, she was so modern as to be the daughter of a breakfast-food manufacturer of humble origin, who had left her a mil- lion or more at his death. “That looks like a very well-bred woman,” said the admiring visitor, who appre- ciated the beautiful in art and nature. “She ought to be,” replied Madam Knickerbocker tartly. + She was brought up in a bakery.” ‘ JUST AS EFFECTIVE. ** Pedestrians are getting too foxy to be run down any more. He—"" Yes: but I've got a new horn that sounds so awful it scares “em to death.” HAD TO BE, S¢THIS poem,” said the editor with a sigh of utter regret, ‘is very good in its way, but it is too mechanical.” “It has to be mechanical,” explained the poet readily. “It is a spring poem.” ~ U.S. BOSS, OLD Eveland now seems at her ease Her path there's none to cross. She may be mistress of the seas, But Uncle Sam 's the boss. AFTER THE SERVICE. Deacon Wigg—*+ Now, that was a finished dis- course.” ce Yes: ON THE GREAT WHITE WAY. Parser Wage Yenc bau Sovyon keewy t “Well, well! One meets every one that's alive on Broadway.” thought it never would be. «Yor! and anny ol dead Geel toa comicbooks.com