Judge — April 6, 1907 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HIRAM JOHNSON’S REVENGE. ND to my beloved! nephew, Hiram Johnson, I bequeath the sum of $100,000." " r “ What—what's that?” gasped the nephew. + «To my beloved nephew, Hiram Johnson, repeated the lawyer who was reading the will, «+I bequeath the sum of $100,000." + Do—do you mean to say than Tam now worth all that money? And do—do you mean to say I can now throw up my job at Keepemdown & Kickem’s ?” “You can, sir.” “+ And that—and that I won't have to leap out of bed after this when the alarm-clock goes off?” +A man with your wealth, sir, ean sleep all day,” replied the lawyer as he held out his hand. + Allow me to congratulate you.” * But Mr. Johnson waved him back and stood like one dazed for a few moments; then he reached for his hat and ran out the front door and dashed up the street. Thinking that good fortune had affected his brain, the lawyer hastened after him, and he was soon joined by others in the pursuit. Hiram made straight for the little room in the boarding- house he had so long called home, and as he rushed up the steps four policemen and a score of men, women and children were at his heels. When the officers had succeeded in breaking open the door that Hiram had closed and locked after him, he had an axe in his hands and was pounding something to pieces on-the floor of the room. “Poor fellow! he has gone mad," remarked one of the policemen. “You've got another guess coming,” chuckled the man who had just inherited a fortune as he jumped up and down on the wreck he had made. “I'm only knocking the life out of that blamed alarm-clock that has been getting JUDGE'S FAVORITES. me up at daylight MISS DALLAS TYLER IN ‘THE OTHER GIRL."” every morning for the Now, spring comes, and with magic arts past ten years!" Weaves subtle joy-spells round our hearts. So magically you contrive A tw, To make us glad that we're alive. WHERE SHE LOST INTEREST. 66 A UTOMOBILING does tousle one’s hair so!" said the beautiful young creature as they descended from the machine and started up the dark walk toward the house where they were to call. «Tt does?” he inquired politely. “Yes; it gives it the same effect as though one had been struggling to avoid being kissed,” she gurgled. “Indeed ? I fancy you should carry a small hand-mirror and some hair- pins when you go automobiling,” he suggested, moving right on up the dark walk. Some way or other, by one of those unexplainable psychological im- pulses, at that very moment she began to realize he was not the man she would select as an affinity. HIS LARGEST ASSET. Applicant for Pullman portership— And is this twenty-five dollars per month all I am to get from the company ?” Pullman Company— No, indeed. We furnish you a five-cent box of “Ol suppose callers take up a gr-reat dale av yure tolme, Mrs. Murphy.” “Thrue fer ye, Mrs. O'Flaherty. Why, me social duties do be ‘80 gr-reat Ol shcarcely git tolme ter do me washin’."”” OMAR AMONG THE ADS, 'E Models pose for Some One's Underwear Or Corsets, or for Stuff to Grow the Hair, Or Bath Tubs, Hose (not Garden), and they all Appear with Very Little Garb to spare. And though each one Convention thus defies, Task if they at times look Otherwise. I wonder if the models ever wear More Clothing than the Styles they Advertise ! STANTON'S “ JOY- BELLS.” . JAMES WHITCOMB RILEY and Frank L. Stanton, the Georgia poet, are old friends ; but there are certain features about Stanton’s jolly-"em-along verse that Riley can't quite like. One time Riley was dis- cussing Stanton’s style with Madison Ca- wein, the Kentucky poet. Madison," said Riley, looking at him quizzically, +» what the —— are these ‘ joy- bells’ that Stanton is always writing about?” blacking, a ten-cent brush, and an cight-cent whisk-broom, which you can make last you two or three years, and which will increase your income three hundred per cent. through all that period.” THE CONTINUOUS CHALLENGE. Jnny—"' Aw, no wonder yer kin lick me—yer two years older ‘n me.” Mickey— Well, come round when yer as old as me an’ I'l! lick yer den, too.” comicbooks.com