Judge — March 30, 1907 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN AWFUL SHOCK. HE took me to a window ; In vain my footsteps lag. She said, ‘* There, that’s the bonnet!” And then I saw the tag! UTTERLY INCONGRUOUS. 66 AH" said the pensive maiden as Lent was almost over, «listen to the weird wind singing its sad requiem about the angles of our humble home !"* “Requiem nothing !" said the young man beside her.“ Who ever heard of a requiem sung in March- time?” Whereupon the young woman was silent in the presence of a music- al knowledge superior to her own, THE ETERNAL FEMININE—ALSO MASCULINE. REAL MODESTY. “If you are going to be all night curling A ‘ eo those feathers, | think we had better stay away °* A/S your marriage a failure? from the theatre entirely."" “No; but my wife’s was. "TWAS BUT A DREAM. EARY WILLIE stood in the road and watched the Easter parade go by, and when the fashionable folk had passed out of sight he sat down on the curbstone and began to cry as if his heart was breaking. «Here, you!" exclaimed a policeman who happened along. ** What kind of a jag is this you've got?” “Tain't jagged, boss,” replied the weeping hobo as he wiped his eyes on his tat- tered old coat. “Then what ails you?” «De sight uv dose swells brought back de old times ter me.” “Why, you're crazy !" said the policeman, “+ You were never in that class. and well you know it.”* “ Wuzn't I ever like dem?” asked Weary Willie. “Certainly not. You've been a bum and a soak and a gutter-snipe all your life.” “An'—an’ wuzn't I never a rich gent dat lived on Fift’ Avenoo an’ rode in me auto, an’ went ter church wid me biiled shirt an’ me [recs high hat on?” , | \east Nan «Never in your life.” < PARIS STYU “Gee! den I ain't got nothin’ ter feel bad y, about, after all," chuckled the tramp as a broad smile came over his face. “+ Yer know I must hev dreamed dat I wuz once dat kind uy a guy, an’me heart wuz flutterin’, an’ I wuz feelin’ like a lost dog in a blizeard, when yer came along. So I wuz always jest a good old bum, eh? Well, dat takes a big load off me mind.” And Weary Willie shambled off up the street, whistling as he went. Ame FEMININE WILES. Stella—** | always get to the theatre last, so as to be talked about.” Bella— And 1 always get to the club first, so as not to be talked about.” WORTH ALL THEY COST. Tue Lavy (after inspecting the window)—'* Looks 40s Aceuedl ‘ lke a lot of money jest fer a hat, but it’s the busl- Gunbusta—v According to the price, my +4 D)ID you have a good time at the 200?" “+ Beastly.” ness of women to be beautiful.” A SLAP AND ANOTHER. Hussy—" You women all have the same fault. You can't pass a shop that has bonnets in the window without looking in.”* Wirey—'' So different from you men! You can't pass a shop that has bottles in the window without go- ing In.” AND SHE WENT HOME TO MOTHER. se\VELL !" said the wife who had put up with her husband's blunders till the limit of endurance had been reached. + Here you bring home some straw- berries that are positively green! You always do. You never picked.a ripe watermelon since Ihave known you, you always buy poor can- taloupes, you let your tailor give you clothes that shrink and fade, you can’t choose grape- fruit that are worth eating, and "—— «And I picked you out, too. Don't for- get to put that in,” urged the husband. TOA LD. H, Easter lid, In you is hid ‘Some value known To those alone Who put together In winter weather A dollar's worth of gimcracks that would make a tombstone laugh E And sell to some one’s man for nineteen dollars and a half. Sw. G RADIUM STUFFING. Wilfred—« Pa, what are the birds on mamma’‘s Easter bonnet stuffed with ?” boy, I guess they're stuffed with radium.” OLovencin— IT STRUCK HIM JUST RIGHT. Sprinc roer—"* My! I wish something would strike me that rhymes with beau.— —Ah, that’s it!" comicbooks.com