Judge — March 30, 1907 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SS a Ie SS 4 — ‘ —— SSS SO SSS aN PUBLISHED WEEKLY 225 Fountn Ave.,New Yous. Cantx Appness,“Jupcame.” Trt. 2214 Grawzncr, Wastren Apvernisine Orr One copy, one y One copy, 81x Fe One copy, for thirteen weeks FOREI Evnornan sates-acents—Jaternational News Company, The contents of FUDGE are srotected by copyright in bot UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. weorzonumbers = + ee ee BD Bream's building, Chancery Lane, EC, London the United States an Great Britain. 313 Hartford Building, Chicago, Mh. TERMS TO S ERS: $300 Tncloding the Custsruas Junce. *s SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $5.50 a year. no's, Avenue de Opera, Paris: Searbach's News Ex Infringement of this conyright will be promptly and Pizorously prosecuted, CONTRIBUTORS mest inciose a stamped and self-addressed erivelove with all manuscriots, otherwise return of the Latter when found unavailable cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and all contribations sent to the Art Department should have the sender's full name and adiness written 2lainly on each and every separate sketch. The accompanying Joke or descriotive letler-oress should in every instarce be writien upon its indrvsdual picture, and NOT upon a separate slip of paver. Inciosure of stamps to the full amount of postage is also required, 10 insure safe and promot return of material not accented. MW JUDGE cansot be found at any news-stand, the publishers will be under obligations If that tact be promptly reported on postal-card or by letter. ‘THE MYSTERY OF THE EASTER GIRL. Gla DLY would JUDGE levy upon the dictionaries of every tongue and exhaust the resources of poetry and prose if by so doing he could even in a partial degree pay a becoming tribute to the Easter girl. But things that never can be done had better never been begun. For, first of all, she mystifies us. Behatted and be- gowned, she springs full-orbed out of the penitential forty days wherein her thoughts, we had supposed, dwell far from the vanities of the world. We recognize in our poor, feeble way that there is a w dom here that is higher than the male mind can compass. She has beyond doubt a vast spiritual liking for the Easter time which appears to be in contradiction to her lavish devotion to mere personal adorn- ment, but we know that in some deeper way the two things meet in perfect unison. We do not understand how the Lenten season can beget in her a lovely spiritual ecstasy and at the same time suggest to her visions of Leghorn and Neapolitan shapes, of dainty little Gypsy toques, of ostrich willow-gray plumes and black blousines, of Milan Mush- rooms and Louis XVI. lids, but so it is. When we read of * ladies’ five- gored skirts in medium sweep or short round length,” we thrill with our own perfect incapacity to understand these things.‘ Ivory-white peau de cygne, tucked and decorated with appliqué, with lace motifs,” conveys to our mind nothing more definite than a sun-shot mist on a river of a June morning; but we are free to confess that we believe, though we cannot understand, To the male mind the feminine passion for clothes is only less a mystery than the beautiful magic by which mere textures, cloths and subtle arts unite to produce the Easter girl. THE VALUE OF THE NEW ELECTRIC EYE. HE ELECTRIC EYE is the latest invention in railroad mechanics. The object of the electric eye is to discover faults in the rails where the human eye is unable to discover them. It is a wonderful invention as far as it goes, but it will occur to the scientific mind that its chief value is merely as a clew to the wider application of the eye to the whole railroad business. For instance, what would be more useful than an eye which could warily fix itself upon the passenger as he enters a car and determine whether he is properly equipped with ticket or funds for his passage? Or again, an electric eye that could go miles ahead of a speeding train and de- tect the rural gentleman just approaching a crossing with a load of potatoes, and tim- ing his progress in such a way that he will be directly across the track at precisely the moment when that portion of the track will be required by the flying express? A still more useful application of the principle of the electric eye would be to have such an eye in the White House which would automatically go through the very “in- nards"' of a railroad system. The electric eye, when it discovers a defect in the rail, winks. It would of course be necessary to overcome this in the administrative electric eye. If it got into the habit of winking at defects, rebates and the like, we would be right back where we have been before. Thus it is that inventions which promise well in one department by the same token threaten ill when applied to a different department of the business of life. THE unexpurgated bathing-suit is promised for the coming season, SPEAKING of women on juries, could a woman survive, or rise level to, or in any way adjust herself to, a hypothetical question 16,000 words long? eee se TAKE my road, says Hill."” We venture to say that if anybody took this newspaper headline in earnest and went to Mr. Hill, he got a lemon. MADAME ANNA GOULD complains because it cost her $175,000 to get rid of Boni. Does seem as if it would have been about as cheap to have kept him. O THREE-CENT TOM is to direct the campaign for Brother Bill. It’s a fine arrangement, but will it come up to the Hanna-McKinley speci- fications? We trow not. ON JUDGING MEN BY THEIR SOUL-WEIGHTS. THE WEIGHT of the soul, as might have been expected, has been de- termined by the Boston intellect. 1: is surprising to find that the soul (Boston souls, of course, being the subject of the inves ion) shows up so slenderly in avoirdupois. The Haverhill experimenters find that the average is about half an ounce, while the best souls reach an ounce—mean- ing, of course, Boston souls. How char- acteristic of the Boston mind that, while the rest of the country is discussing tariffs, railroad rates and fiat government, it is concerned mainly with the weight of the soul, Lawson “* coppers” furnishing recre- ation on the side. This spectacle of de- tachment from the gross concerns of the world is so warming that the country might welcome the Haverhill discovery, totally apart from its value per se. It en- ables us to regard the Boston people in the light of those precious souls described by Milton’s line, “On a hill retired in thoughts. more elevate."” But the discovery itself also has merit. Since the world has always judged of men as either big-souled, whole-souled, or small-souled, there is no reason why we should not go on now and rate people in all the affairs of life by their soul-weights. Newspaper articles would then begin: “ Mr. J.S. Jay, whose soul weighs three ounces,” or “ Mr. Lucius Lumpus, whose soul formerly weighed ten ounces, but now has shriveled to seven, and whose fortune is estimated at sixty millions,” etc. Just think of it! That $10,000,000 of Sage money would endow the Bryan Presidential boom and perpetuate it forever! R. J. PIERPONT MORGAN is said to be enjoying his sojourn ‘abroad. Mr. J. P. M. has a perfectly wonderful capacity for en- joyment. MF. GEORGE F. BAER says that the Dutch from whom our President is descended were the kind of Dutch who really dug canals. A dig at the digger. LAdles who wish to devote their brains to a good cause are invited to leave them to one Miss Fowler of New York, who promises to preserve them in nice glass jars. comicbooks.com