Judge — March 23, 1907 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HER LENTEN LIST. ie bas made up a list of the pleasures Which for forty taboo— loug days she'll The waltz with its heart-thrilling meas- ures, ‘The drama and opera, ton. For it seems that in sackcloth and ashes Up to Easter her time must be spent, And the feast bit of jollity clashes With the proper observance of Lent. Her list Lam sure includes dinners And gossiping five-o'clock teas ; For only the hardiest sinners Would put in appearance at these. Leastwise while 'tis Lent! ing, Riding, driv. E’en flirting— most hard to resist— ‘These things, I have learned by conniv. ing. Are, all of them, down on her list. It is plain to be seen that in pouncing On what she'll give up during Lent, "Tis the things she loves best she’s re- She is clearly on martyrdom bent. And I, who so love her, in trying Position am placed, can’t y She's renounced all things dear, and I'm dying To know if the list includes me/ JUDGE'S FAVORITES. LOIS EWELL, WITH WEBER'S THEATRE COMPANY, Twinkle, twinkle, little star We do not wonder what you are — hi We know. The path of your descent Lies ina lustrous firmament. Ring — see? SOON ENOUGH. “Oh, Bobby! the minister ‘Il be awful cross with you for goin’ to sleep in church."* “I don't see why. I woke up in time for the col- lection.” HARD INDEED. + Is he a hard man to work under?" Sting «| thought so when he fell off a ladder onto my head.” THE WEATHER UP IN DOLLPEPPER. ED-FACED man. Brisk manner. Plunk- ed himself into a chair, nodded to me, and said, « Editor 2" I said I was. “«Tsee that your paper has been full of complaints lately about the queer weather folks think they are having,” said he. I said it had, and the man said, “Sometimes because it’s too cold ; sometimes because it’s too warm ; some- times because it rains when it ought to Dollpepper climate got ‘way ahead of itself. On the nineteenth day of January I stole into Uncle Joe Snippensnigger’s orchard and filled up I communed that night with the most positive case T sure heard on green apples. of colic that ever griped the insatiate innards of youth. old Jordan roll. “Why, when they were getting up the Fourth-of-July celebration they put on the bills, ‘If it snows on the Fourth, cclebration next fair day." Uncertain as that the season was. We had to tap the maple- trees in November for next spring's new maple-syrup, the season was so far aheail of itself. Two years after that, though, the season came in away behind itself—'way behind. In April we were just planting our potatoes for the year before. My, yes! And here you folks are complaining about queer weather, Poof! Fiddlesticks! Put some Dollpepper weather in your paper and let ‘em see what weather is.” sometimes because it snows when —all in a week, maybe 2” snow ; it ought to r: I said that just about described it. ** Poof! Fiddlesticks xclaimed the red- faced man, snapping his fingers. ++ You folks around here don't know what queer weather is. You ought to be up in the Dollpepper country awhile. Lightning-change weather the folks up there call it. Why, a hen was laying an egg in abarn, Weather came on so cold that it froze half of the egg solid asa hunk of coal. Before the other half was laid the weather changed so sucden and so warm that the last half of the egg was soft-boiled. Yep, At eight o'clock one morning I swam the Dollpepper River to the left bank, and at half-past eight I skated back again. Another morning I went out to draw a bucket of water from the well, Well froze solid with the bucket in it before it could fill. I pulled and yanked the well up solid. I threw it in the yard and went it to breakfast. I was only just at my tenth pancake when the hired man came running in, hollering that the well had melted in the yard, flooded the pig-pen, and drowned the old sow and her litter of pigs. Changeable as that the weath- er was in the Dollpepper country this winter. “Oh, yes!" continued the red-faced man after a pause. “Poof! Fiddlesticks! You don't know anything abcut unseasonable weather around here. I’ remember a season when the THE LANDLADY “CALLS.” tiny MP StowrAr (who is having a quiet game in his room)—"" You can't bluff me, I'll ralse you ifty.”” Tue Lanptapy (suddenly entering) pot will just square us.” “hope you are not four-flushing, Mr. Slowpay, for that comicbooks.com