Judge — March 23, 1907 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

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ORS mest inctose a stamped and self-addressed erdeiove with all manuscrots, otherwise return of the latter when found unavailable cannot be guaranteed. sent to the Art Desartment should have the sender's felt name and adiress Written plainly on each and every sevarate shetch. The accompanying joke or Inciosare of stamps to the full amount of postage (s also required, to 1 JUDGE cannot be found at any news-stand, tbe publishers will be under obligations if that fact be promptly reported on postal-card or by letter. LET’S PITY THE PIRATES OF TRADE. . IRATES OF INDUSTRY” and “Buccaneers of Business” are terms of reproach enjoying so much present popularity that people are in danger of thinking they stand for the truth and nothing but the truth. Some time since our wizards of finance and fortune were ‘* Captains of Industry.” For a quarter of a century they were gifted with no small share of the distinction and honors of the times. To-day it would appear that the popular verdict is veering around in the opposite direction. Successful men generally are “pirates” and ‘* buccaneers,” lawless, roystering and irresponsible adventurers. We hold no brief for these gentlemanly brigands, but we venture to say that this verdict of a muck-raking period will come to have a very ridiculous look to the saner judgment of after days. Contrary to the suspicion sedulously cultivated by a yellow Press, we venture to think when Mr. Har- rian says the railroad men not only want to obey the law, but have wanted a stricter regulation of railroad property, it is just possible that he means it. It is just possible that the railroad and business conscience is as nearly amenable to law and right as the conscience of any other class of the people. Instead of judging of the goodness of a law by the extent of the ‘holler’ it raises from the railroad interests, it might be more statesmanlike to go ahead and pass good laws, and then see if the railroads are less inclined than other businesses to loyally support them. That little lake seems to have inoculated Princeton with aquatics. The boys are now 'rah-’rahing for a Princeton boat-club. THE new digger of the Panama Canal, Lieutenant-colonel Goethals, in the only photograph we have seen of him, wears a smile that—well, that will probably come off. ON PERSUADING 10,000 PEOPLE TO LIVE. A ANTI-SUICIDE charity in the city 0, New York, with branches in many parts of the country, brings to the front an aspect of our civili- zation which must cause dismay in every normal breast. We are in the habit of extolling our day and generation, and thinking the world is better worth living in now than it ever was before in human history. And yet here is an ambitious enterprise whose object is to find out some 10,000 people every year bent on self-destruction and persuade them that they ought to stay with us. It is not plain how the anti-suicide endeavor is to become ef- fective. To invite those contemplating self-extinction to call upon the society first and talk it over has a strange look. There is something uncanny, revolting and pre- posterous about it. The notion of suicide is only tolerable in connection with those sudden despairs which pervert the mind and unseat the will, Furthermore, a move> ment of this kind confers a sort of legiti- ‘macy on the suicidal impulse and admits it on the same plane with the rest of the common ills that flesh is heir to. We may expect before long to see it brought for- ward as a new motive in mendicancy. The hobo will use it to enforce his request for pie, and the bankrupt, the ab- sconder and the malefactor will warn against prosecution by the threat of hara-kiri. HICAGO to be a city beautiful, says a newspaper headline. Not yet, you see, but soon. tae T IS announced that Mr. Hearst has again left the Democratic party. It is quite a little while tll 1908. | MACHINE that will raise the dead is the latest invention. Does this refer to the Democratic party machine? THe Americanization of the Philippines goes on apace. The Manila Gossip is offering a copy of “* Heart Throbs’’ to each new subscriber. NEW YORK is credited or blamed as the home of expensive eaters, and yet a Gotham college is teaching students how to dine comfortably on eight cents a meal. CONGRESS CANNOT SING THE OLD SONGS. VERY FEW PEOPLE can sing the old songs for the simple reason that they cannot remember the words. This statement is not new, but it is emphasized afresh by notable incidents every day. When congress ad- journed the other day, for instance, the attempt to sing the national anthem would have failed utterly but for a little girl in the gallery. No congress- man was equal to the effort of lining out the memorable verse. Our na- tional legislators fared no better with ‘‘ My Old Kentucky Home.”” Notwithstanding the presence in the house of such notable songsters as Carmack, William Randolph Hearst and Jaddam Bede, ‘* My Old Ken- tucky Home’ stumped them all. After the first verse even the tuneful Tawney la-la-la’d uncertainly to the end. But be- fore we jeer let us take thought of our own shortcomings. Gentle reader, we have no desire to put you ina hole; but, just be- tween ourselves, can you, now, this min- ute, recite‘ America”? Can you give the words of “ My Old Kentucky Home,” or “*Good-night, Ladies,” or ‘God Be with You till We Meet Again”? Which leads to the very interesting speculation as to how much of anything remember- able abides in the actual living recollection of the people. Alas! it is to be feared that we have altogether become a race of dictionary trotters and Bartlett burrowers. Nobody carries anything along with him in his head. He is a wise man who knows where he can dig for what he wants and find it. E LIKE the spirit of the good woman who willed $200,000 to make France moral, but the sum is so pitifully inadequate. HAT! Brother Dunne refused the assistance of Brother Bryan’s talk ! What will happen to good Democrats who thus tempt fate? AT THIS writing Mr. Spooner is credited with so many $50,000 offers that one wonders how any senator can remain in the service of the government. Sse THE wealthy Yale student spends eighty-two times as much on his pipe as the poor student. This explains why Yale “pipes” are all of the expensive variety. see SINCE New York did not remove the snow from the streets last winter, there is little comfort in the fact that elaborate plans are being made for removing the snow next winter. comicbooks.com