Judge — March 9, 1907 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIVES OF THE ILLUSTRIOUS. IS for Duchess, whose “pile” Made a Marlborough glad—fur a while. Since the millions have flown Married bliss is unknown To these peers of the tight little isle. WRECKED IT. SOYVHIZZLE got him a new auto,” said the first_ man. «Had it made after his own ideas, Had it equipped with a collapsible table and chairs and a small cooking-range, and a pantry stocked with things to eat, and a little shelf of books, and a condensed piano, and a fold- ing-bed, and”. «+ By gracious !” interrupted the other man, ‘*I'll bet he simply lives in it.” “Not much. He hadn't more than got it till his wife took any a notion it was time to do house-cleaning in it.” HAD TO SKIMP. 66 MY DEAR, my dear!” exclaimed the man, lifting his hands in amazement, “surely you are not going to wear such an outrageously low-cut dress! It will be scan- dalous !" “Well,” replied his wife sadly, «it's You have put me on such a beggarly allowance that I couldn't afford to buy any more goods for this dress.” the best I can do. HIS INGENIOUS METHOD. H, BUT didn’t Oi hoy th’ divvle’s own toime lasht noight !* mourned Finnigin as he dived inta the Franklin stove after a 'h’ divvle’s own toime did Oj hov thryin’t’ pinker coal for his pipe. Yez see, we git wid Maloney, as wint t' town wid me in th’ mar-rnin’, la St ase; UNINTENDED SARCASM. 7 Canteen eee, ALL HANDS; Or, his first experience with the manicurist. got separ-rated, th’ two av us, an’ git togither agin we cuddent t' save where Oi wint an’ ast wuz Maloney there Oi wuz At lasht wan mon towld me he had th’ sowls av us. Ivei towld he'd jisht thot minyit gone seen wid 's own oyes Maloney shtartin’ aff home. Wid thot Oi shtarted toward home mesilf, thinkin’ av the long, forlornsome walk befoor me, an‘ wishin’ fer th’ coomp’ny av me frind. At th’ fur-rst_ moile Oi met Clancy an’ ast ‘m had he met Maloney, an’ he hadn't. Thot puzzled me shtill more, an’ Oi wuz thot confused an’ bewil- dhered thot Oi didn’t know what t’ do. + At lasht Oi hit on th’ injaynyus plan. Oi wud run a quarther av a moile t’overta-ake'm in case he wuz ahid. Thin Oi wud shtop an’ rist tin minyits t'let ‘m catch up wid me if he wuz behoind. But in shpite av all me precautions,” sighed Finnigin as his coal got to going good, “Maloney bate me home about a quarther av an hour.” STRICKLAND W. GILLILAN. THAT'S S(N)OW! 5 the man behind the shovel, Don't ye know, don't ye know, ‘T Who saves us all the trouble Of the snow, of the snow ; And we should Ais wages double— ‘That is so, that is sot SCIENCE. 66] F aman had an arm long enough to touch the sun and burn his fingers,” said the pro- fessor, “he would not feel the pain for five thou- sand six hundred and ninety-two years.” + And for how many thousand years could Mrs. Puatt—*' Look at rich Mrs. Okay! If I should wrap my skirt around me like that people would say it showed bad form.” Mrs. Stis—"" Yes, indeed; they certainly would." he be heard swearing about it, professor ?” asked the anxious student in the second row. THE EVOLUTION OF THE AUTOMOBILE. comicbooks.com