Judge — March 2, 1907 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

7 FORWARD— MARCH! UST March, with biting winds and raw, A taste of equinoctial law, Slush, slide, alternate freeze and thaw. Since changeling arch Is she of months, on sere and green Alike she smiles, then vents her spleen, And more than hares grow mad, I ween, With March. And cometh, too—though naught it hurts— With March comes, too, the shamrock spray— breeze that toys and flirts, Ah, rare indeed 's Saint Patrick's Day! And wantonly, with snow-white skirts, Potations, too, that thirsts allay All stiff with starch, Of throats that parch. Till mild, meek women, truth to tell, Parades, with Erin's flag above !— Think, though they do not say, “To—well, ‘Tis truly fitting as a glove A place the ice trust doesn't sell— We men, at least, should be in love With March !" With March! ROY FARRELL GEREN OF COURSE HE HAS WRITTEN A BOOK. #4 A CHICAGO professor says women and negroes are on about the same level intellectually.” “Have his publishers announced how many thousand copies the first edition will consist of ? SLANGUISTICALLY STATED. The book-keeper— That new assistant of mine is a paragon of imcompe- tence." The stenographer—" You mean that he is a lemon aid.” THE MODERN SHYLOCK. 46 PLEASE wrap up all my purchases,” said the grouchy customer. Why, I've done so,” replied the cash grocer. + Beg pardon, but you haven't,” retorted the g. c. + What have I left undone up?” “That thumb of yours that you weighed up with the butter!" snorted the g.c. ‘+1 want it for dog-meat. Wrap it up!” INCE the traction question has come to a boil in Chicago business THE DESIRE FOR CHANGE. men have begun making typically large wagers on which can get BBY sont. reese rena of aims Yor Must Het, IN YOUR BEDROOM, ALTHOVGN. 1 BERLE THEI, EANsist WON PLACING TY own 1m > MVST TO ACT AS A CHAPERON ron TUM: THE BROKER OF ISLIP, A CERTAIN fat broker from Islip Was asked by a friend for a sly tip; Rut his hopes were soon floored When the fat broker roared, “ Sir, the scales are the only things / tip!” UNSPORTSMANLIKE, $s PJOCTOR."” said the friend who had been sitting in the office while to his office soonest hy the existing facilities. Walking: has been ruled the physician saw his patients, “why did you tell one man to out asa means on the ground that to walk is to take an unfair ad- stop drinking coffee and tell the next man to drink it, when both of — vantage. them had the same symp- toms?" “« My gracious !" testily replied the physician, «don’t you suppose a man wants a little variety in the dull rou- tine of his daily duties?" PROGRESS. LACKSMITHS forge ahead. Money-lenders advance ily. Real-estate_ men gain ground. Gamblers get the up- per hand. Tailors press forward. Se YOUR name,” he stam- mered, s writ- ten on my heart.” ++ Yes 2" she whispered. ** But—but wouldn't it be much nicer if your name were engraved on my sta- “Say, pa, what's the matter with your feet?” tionery ?” I guess my feet have been over-developed.”” THE AMATEUR PHOTOGRAPHER. “Thave been snapshotted out of focus so often since Johnny got his kodak that T° the croo CONSIDERATE FORE- —" Den youse fires me widout giv- in’ me a chance ter resign 2” Employer—«1 do. Get out !” The office boy —" MM right. But I'll leave me ad- dress, where youse kin send yer apology in case dis affair turns out to be a Tillman joke er a Swettenham jest.” JUST WHAT IT WAS. Passenger—" Does this train stop anywhere for din- ner?" rakeman—* Nah; it don't.” Passenger —“Then 1 understand, for the first time, why it is called a ‘fast’ train,” crooked. /| J WALKER OLoveiid— THE EVOLUTION OF THE TEDDY BEAR. comicbooks.com -