Judge — March 2, 1907 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED WEEKLY 225 Fourtu Ave., New Yous. Cane Appness,“Jupcanx.” Tat. 2214 Gramencr. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. ‘One copy, one year. oF 52 = 8S RIPTIONS. Eounenan Sates-acents—/aternational News Company, Bream’ The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States a! DRAW} It contributions sent to the Ast Department shou descriotive letler-oress siould in every instance be written upon its inde tnsure safe and promot return of material not accented. mcery Lane, F.C, London Great Britain. are, and NOT upon a senarate slip of pazer. d Building, Chicago, Ml TERMS TO SUBSCRIVERS: $300 <: Tage 135 countries in the postal union, $5.50 year. o8, ie 1" Opera, Pari aréach's News Ex Infring 's conyright will be promptly and digorously prosecuted. when foand unavailable cannot be guarantees. n plainly on each and every serarate sketch. The accompanying joke or Inciosure of stames to the fall amount of postage is also required, (0 Avise return of the Lal 1 JUDGE cannot be found at any wews-stand. the publishers will be under obligations if that fact be promptly reported on postal-card or by letter. ‘THE POLITICAL SILLY SEASON DRAWING NIGH. with SUN-SPOTS militant covering 3,540,000,000 square miles of the solar surface, earthquakes rampant here below, the muck-rake couch- ant wherever decimal journalism extends, and predictors of woe ululant on a field argent (thanks to the yellow press), the conditions are all met for a silly season of nervous panic, crass proph- ecy, absurd reforms, and impossible legis: lation, The Thaw trial will help on the general morbid tendency. The approach of a Presidential election will stir up a host of wary bedevilers of public opinion, who will know how to gather the current infe- licities of the times into a formidable logic of political and social disaster. And yet, when we look at things as they are, the world is not so bad in this year of grace, 1907. Not only is prosperity as general, at least, as at any former time and the peo- ple as healthy and happy, but the whole world is committed to a programme of re- form and progress as at no previous period in history. ‘Ihings are no longer sacred because they are old. This, there- fore, is not the time for foolish alarms and doleful deliverances. The man who has a pinch of limburger on his nose need not be believed because he thinks the whole world smells. quar was a most interesting occasion in the metropolis when sixty mem- bers of the Bulldog Club sat down to their annual banquet. NEW YORKERS keep at the head in every line. Thieves are stealing the gates from Dr. Parkhurst’s new church, and there is some un- easiness lest they get away with the Flatiron building. MISSOURI'S MOST PROMISING REFORMER, THE HON. MR. NORFLEET of Missouri has introduced in the legisla- ture of that state the following: ‘‘ Hereafter it shall be unlawful for any woman, either married or single, to purchase for herself, or to receive or in any way procure for her use and benefit, more than two hats, each to cost not more than $1.98, oftener than every twelve months.” Here is courage of the real kind. There is a sort of notoriety that comes of at- tempts to reform big evils and monumental abuses, but it should not fool anybody. Any man can undertake the impossible and incur nothing more deadly than a smile of ridicule. But here is a statesman who goes after things within his reach. The two-hats-a-year-at-one-ninety-eight-each- programme might look absurd but for one thing, which exhibits the Hon, Mr. Nor- fleet in an almost uncanny light in point of sly intelligence and insight into human nature. Why one-ninety-eight for the hats?. Why not an even two dollars? That two cents measures the slender bor- derland that lies between success and fail- ure in this philanthropic scheme. The one- ninety-eight imparts that adorable bargain- counter quality which will win the feminine mind. By playing woman's greatest weak- ness against her next most marked failing, philanthropy will get an unprecedented boost. Her love of a bargain, her sheer delight in saving two cents, will be ex- ploited to restrain and subdue her vain desire for costly millinery, and many a man will be able to set up a chicken-farm where now his surplus goes to financing his wife's headgear. ‘ALK about miracles! Here is Charles W. Olrieve winning $5,000 by walking 1,600 miles on the Ohio and the Mississipp. ROTHER ROCKEFELLER’S $32,000,000 for colleges has introduced anew word. Every city is now interested in knowing whether it is “*collegeable.”” wee [SIT because of jealousy that New York, regarding San Francisco, Kings- ton and Valparaiso seismic successes, undertakes to hand out all the shocks that are needed in the moral sphere? REAT is commerce. For instance, New York makes false teeth for most of the savage people of the world. It is suggested by a con- temporary that some New Yorker may help to make false teeth, afterward go as a missionary to some cannibal tribe, and be masticated by the product of his own handiwork. THE EXODUS OF WOMAN FROM GOO-GOO LAND. AN IOWA GIRL, desiring to wed, and finding her parents obdurate, calmly threw them into the cellar and eloped. Just why this incident should link itself in thought with the storming of parliament by the suf- fragettes we have not reasoned out; but the two occurrences, one on each hemisphere, appear to us to be ght with an awful significance. Hith- erto male man has been the active agent in elopements—he the instigator, the con- triver, and the executant of the conjugal get-away. But in the lowa affair the man is not mentioned. For all we know, the girl had first kidnapped a fellow, She looms commandingly and unchaperoned in the forefront of the little romance, asking aid of none. Thus in a day when bache- lorhood has set up its reign everywhere we are confronted with the spectacle of a girl seizing whom she will, putting all op- position down by the coal-bin and the veg- etable-room, and hieing to the parsonage. Now, add to this the bravado of the wo- men who are making life fully eighty per cent. a weariness and a burden to British statesmen, and consider that the two widely-separated phenomena may indicate that this disposition in the fair sex is becoming universal, and we have the sum of the new menace to masculine sovereignty. These things point to a near future when woman will dwell with us no longer as the cooing dove and the trailing vine, but austerely and harshly, and a marriageable girl wiil carry dismay into every community where she resides. Thus begins the exodus of woman from R00-g00 land, IF THERE is anything the matter with you, it is more than likely that trypsin and amylopsin are what your system needs. How good it is that the medics tell us these things! 6s(, 00D HUNT! In Pursuit of Big Game, by Theodore Roose- velt.”” The big game referred to by this book announcement may be bear, but most people will have something else in mind. SO THE House of Lords is to be disciplined. One Mr. Bannerman de- clares ‘its absurd conduct cannot be tolerated in civilized govern- ment.”? Sounds almost like “* treason-of-the-Senate ”’ talk. F WESTERNERS affect to be mystified by things in the east, what are we to think of this bit of news from Topeka, Kansas? ** A woman’s threat to scream brought to light a blind pig in the Kansas State House.”” comicbooks.com