Judge — February 2, 1907 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

RICH MAN INSULTED. Lorenzo Dow, relates the St. Paul Pio- acer Press, on one occasion took the lib- erty, while preaching, to denounce a rich fan in the community, recently de- ceased. The result was an arrest, a trial fr slander and an imprisonment in the county jail. After Dow got out of limbo he an- pounced that he should preach, at a given time, a_ sermon about * another evn man." The populace was greatly tacited, and a crowded house greeted his appearance. ; With great solemnity he opened the Bible and read, “ And there was a rich man who died and went to"——_ Then, sopping short, and seeming to be sud- denly impressed, he continued, « Breth- ren, | shall not mention the place this rich man went to, for fear he has some relatives in this congregation who will sue me for defamation of character.” The effect was irresistible and he made the impression permanent by taking an- other text. A CINCH. Teacher —" Now, boys, what is the virtue of magnanimity 2” Pupils —" Aw?” Teacher —** What is it, if a big boy wanted an apple very badly, and were to meet a small boy with one in a place where nobody could take the small boy’s n° — Class (with eager illumination) — ‘*Dat's a cinch !"—Bultimore American, HER MEMORY. Gayley—" You haven't had occasion to accuse me of playing poker for two years.” Mrs. Gayley— Three years, my dear.” Gayley—"" How do you know it’s three years?” Mrs. Gayley— Because I've worn this dress that long, and I got it the last time caught you." Catholic Standard, Not a Medicine-Simply Ale General Guaranty fled in Washington, Two barristers of the names of Doyle and Yelverton were constantly quarrel- ing before the bench, One day the dis- pute arose so high that the incensed Doyle knocked down his adversary, ex-| claiming vehemently, “You scoundrel!’ I'll make you be- have like a gentleman !" The other, smarting under the blow as he lay on the ground, energetically re- plied, “No, never! I defy you! You cannot | do it, sir !"— Philadelphia Inquirer. OVERWORKED. Ruffon Wratz—“The idee of your claimin’ to be overworked, ye durned old | hobo !” Tuffold Knutt—“1 am overworked, | b'gosh! Fifty times a day I hev to ex plain how it is that I don’t git no employ- ment when the country is jist runnin’ over wit’ prosperity."— Chicago Tritune. | | Nothing better for a sluggish appetite than | Abbott's Bitters. At druggists’. CORRECT. Tess—" Did Mr. Borem ever call on you?” Fess—" Yes; he called last evening. I was quite delighted when the girl brought up his card.” Tess—“ Oh, come now ; you weren't really delighted.” Fess —“ Certainly. You see, if she hadn't brought up his card I might have gone down to him, thinking it was some one else."—Philadelphia Press. TO*CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY Take LAXATIVE BROMO Quinine Tablets. Druggists refund money if it fails to cure. E. W. GROVE'S signature ison each box. 25¢. ONE COMFORT. Whatever else I've had to do— Change flannels once or twice, Sit down and contemplate a rise Next year in cost of ice ; Grip, fever, colds and muddy streets— One thing I'm spared, I know— As yet this year I have not had To shovel off much snow ! —Baltimore Sun. MIXED, Cassidy—" Well, now, iv this paper]. ain't got these names mixed up I'll ate my hat!" Vhat’s wrong wid thim ?” Shure, here it sez, ‘Last night Policeman Czsar Jackson arristed Dinnis O'Hoolahan in th’ act av stealin’ some chickens.’ "— Exchange. CHARITY. Fen— «Charity begins at home.” Ben— No, it doesn't ; it begins at “c.” LAAN ZEA CRY OE A Neither richness alone nor mildness alone, but both in perfect harmony, is the secret of the quality of It is this perfect blending of the finest Turkish tobacco that makes the Murad so delightfully satisfying to the cultivated taste and that has won for the Murad such remarkable popularity. “THE METROPOLITAN STANDARD” 10 for 15 cents S. ANARGYROS, Manufacturer, 111 Fifth Avenue, New York Washington had just been hailed as the father of his country. “Good !" he gasped. New York Sun. “1 was afraid they might make me a city father."— habits except making money.—£x. the rest.—New York Press. A man seems to inherit all sorts of Cupid pushes the button ; Lucifer does «America’s Best Humorous Cartoon Wecekly~ Z\HE first number of Jupce was dated October 29th, 1881, and it is a matter of great pride to the publishers that Jupcr, one of the pioneers of cartoon journalism, is to-day more prosperous than at any time since its foundation, and is recognized the world over as the best American humorous weekly. We earnestly request the co-operation of our friends to make our Easter number We Copy should be in our hands by the best ever published. It will be an issue that will be kept for many years. can recommend this number to all advertisers. March 14th at the latest. Judge Company, 225 Fourth Avenue, New York We want you represented. comicbooks.com