Judge, 1907-01-26 · page 10 of 16
Judge — January 26, 1907 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge magazine contains several humorous sketches mocking romantic and marital situations circa early 1900s. **"Her Choice"** satirizes a jealous boyfriend discovering his girlfriend has been spending excessive time with "Teddy"—her teddy bear. The humor relies on the absurdity of a man jealously competing with a stuffed animal, ultimately storming out indignantly. **"Two Muffs in One"** depicts a woman riding between two suitors in a carriage, both secretly holding hands inside her muff. When discovered, she sardonically asks them to release it so she can use it herself—exposing their simultaneous courtship as ridiculous. **"Poor Old Man"** jokes that a couple stayed married only because divorce was financially unaffordable to the poor. **"When Her Shoe Came Untied"** romanticizes a moment where bending to tie a woman's shoe provides opportunity for a marriage proposal. The sketches mock Victorian courtship rituals, male jealousy, and financial constraints on marriage—reflecting period attitudes about romance, gender relations, and class distinctions.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
POOR OLD MAN! Aunt Marr—" So you've really been happy in your married life, Jacob Uncre Jane: have a divorce."* * Of course. Why. we ‘ve never been rich enough to THE WAY OF A GIRL. IIE had a lovely calendar, Were minus any date. HER CHOICE. he hegan as he was preparing to leave other evening, * before 1 go I want to talk over a very serious matter with you.” What ts it, Bertram 2” she asked. “It’s about Ted,” he went on.“ You seem to take more enjoyment in his society of late than in mine.” “Why, you jealous fellow “know Lam, Maude, but I can't help it, I love you so, Lately I have noticed a You are not as affectionate, and I don’t be- lieve you miss me at all when Iam a “Why, [oI “You needn't try to deny it, Maude,” he interrupted her, “for I know the truth, You don’t miss me because you and Ted are always together. In fact, I believe you even hate to hear my ring now, as it may take you away from him for a few moments.” “You know that’s not true, Bertram.” “Then, Maude, I'll put it to the test right here and now, for I cannot let things go on as they have. You must choose between us, Who is it to be ertram or Ted 2° great difference in you, your own loving “What! she excitedly ex- claimed. up Ted? Neve « Very well, then,” he bitterly said as he sighed and walked out into the hall and put on his hat and overcoat. «I'm not of a jeal- ous disposition, and I'm called a fair-minded man by my friends, but I'm not the sort of fellow to share a girl's affections with one “Give of those confounded Teddy bears. ghthead, farewell for- And as he went out into the night and slammed the door after him she picked up the cause of all the trouble and buried her face in its wool and wept. a. nm umwes SOME women marry to mend a man’s ways—but all they Whi ever mend is his clothes. i SEEING IS BELIEVING © They tell me Jones ain't straight.” “* Well, if you don’t believe it look at him.” WHEN HER SHOE CAME UNTIED. WIIEN her shoe came untied. what could 1 du but stoop And fumble the strings till I'd fashioned a loop ‘That would serve for a Low—and then knotted it tight— The while she was blushing, confused at her plight? Yet Cupid, the scamp, might his darts have shot wide Had I not thus stooped down when her shoe came untied. For, after the knot I’ Her eyes with a spirit And, of course, being down on I well might ask something I long had deferred. adjusted, it seemed roguishness beamed ; ny knees, it occurred So I said a few words, and she something replied ‘That sounded like +* Yes "—when her shoe came untied! TWO MUFFS IN ONE. GHE sat between her two lovers in the trap. George was driving, and Edward was pressed closely against the rail. The night was dark, but the horse was old and knew his way, This gave George an opportunity to hold the reins in one hand, and also to slip the other into the lady's unoccupied muff. Presently—well, two hands were tenderly pressing each other. The end of the drive came at last, and a sweet small voice whis- pered, “When you two gentlemen have quite done with my muff per- haps you will be kind enough to let me have it.” Then did two sworn enemies alight from the trap with thoughts that could scarcely be expressed coherently in presentable language. IN BOSTONESE. Little Chicagoan (visiting in Boston)—“ Aw, fudge ! bug-house Little Bostonian (deeply shocked)—*Oh, such terribley and de- plorable vulgarity! You should say, * beetle-garagi You ‘re fe Merlae THAT SETTLES IT. ** How Is it | never get to go to Europe with you? “Why, my dear, if you went who would | have at home to send all the souvenir postal-cards to ?"* A TRAGEDY IN TONOPAH. HOW was the man killed ?* inquired the coroner, before viewing the body. ++ He wuz shot in a quarrel over a game o’ cards, jedge, fer cheat- in’,” replied an eye-witness to the tragedy. «Why, I was told that he committed suicide, but I wanted to find out how he did it.” “He did kill himself, jedge, but you see "—— + T thought you said it was a quarrel 2" “ An’ so it wuz. You see, it wuz this way. Hank wuz the gol-derndest feller ter cheat an’ fight that ever wuz. He jes nachally couldn't he'p cheatin’ in a game an’ he'd fight at the drop o’ the hat. Hank wa'n't no cow- ard, if he did «neat. So when he seen "—— + W! om did he cheat 2” * Hinnselt, c. He playin’ solitaire. wuz Philomena— Do you think Fred Dobbins is very clever ?" Virginia—" You can judge for yourself, I went sleighing wich him last night and nearly froze.” comicbooks.com