Judge — January 19, 1907 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN INSTANCE. FOR love of gold what deeds are done— What actions dread and rash! This very verse you read is one— The poet needs some cash. SHE TRIMMED HIM. AVE you heard how Hawks was trimmed ?” «The courts have ordered him to pay $25,000 for breach of promise to that pretty little manicure lady he used to tell us about.” ‘THE MODERN MAIDEN’S WISH. He—Yes, darling; if you will marry me I want to assure you that I can support you in the style to which you have been accustomed.” She (pouting) —" But I want to be supported in a style to which I'm not accustomed.” JUDGE'S FAVORITES. BLANCHE DEYO IN ‘'THE SOCIAL WHIRL."” The only social whirl we know We get when we are at your show; For then you set our heart awhiri, Because you're such a clever girl. BREEZES FROM THE CANAL-ZONE VINDICATOR. ICE winter weather. We predict that it will be down to ninety before our next issue. Bill Shonts has bought a new steam plow. of our up-to-date agriculturists. Doc Gorgas caught another stray mosquito last week. Doc wants us to warn neighboring republics to keep their mosquitoes on their own premises or he will do them damage. Roads around La Boca Dam are in bad condition. Ted Roosevelt, who was in town recently and who called upon “ye editor” while here, has written a piece about his visit. Ted re- ports that he is much pleaséd with the ditch his hired man has been digging. Drop in again, Ted. Subscribers must pay up! and we need mosquito-netting, duck pants, and soda-water. Ice taken Bill is certainly one This promises to be a severe winter, in exchange for subscriptions. A party named Bigelow has been circulating stories about some of our prominent citizens which have caused .the wildest indignation, Watch out, Poultney, or we'll tell why you left Panama in such a hurry. : . Our esteemed fellow-zonesman, Emanuel Silvestra, is down with a complication of yellow fever, malaria and small-pox. Hope to see you out soon, Em. The baseball game between the Panama Hatters and a semi-pro- fessional team from Colon resulted in a defeat for the Semi-colons by the de The Hatters claim the 120 Degree Championship of the Zone. Farmers from over Gatun way report heavy damage from the long dry spell. The oldest inhabitant remembers nothing like it. No rain for almost eleven hours. Certain evil-minded mis- isive score of nine sunstrokes to five. creants attempted night before last to steal the Culebra Cut. They are known, and if they try it again the Vindicator will mention Our some names. commi-sioners did not go to the voulle of this Cut merely to have it abstract- ed by some vandal who prob- acquiring ably would not know what to do with it if he succeeded in getting it safely away bow ve nuts. FOR ART’S SAKE. 46 ARE you an advocate of the city beautiful ?” “Lam, If I could have my way every trolley-pole in town should be made as lovely A PROFESSIONAL SECRET. THE HOME FROM ADAM TILL NOW. HE home is supposed to be a place where children can congregate, protected from the allurements of the world and the advice of the neighbors, and where parents can quarrel judiciously without too much interruption. In reality, however, the home is a place where decorators, painters, furniture men and plumbers meet at intervals in order that they may revel in luxury of their own, Homes have been in vogue for some little time. Adam and Eve started the first one, and it would have been well with them had it not been necessary to send out the washing. Thus the servant ques- tion was started, and the ruin of man followed. A home is what is left after you have paid the taxes, the interest on the mortgage and the installment man. To own more than one home is not to have any. Homes were at one time popular in this country. When, by going out in the back yard to milk the cow, one was in danger of being scalped, the home was at the height of its popularity. Owing, how- ever, to the decreas- ing demand for ba- bies and the increas- ing demand for ali- mony, homes are be- ing looked upon with disfavor, In the suburbs the home still flickers on, kept alive by cer- tain instincts handed down from a past age. It is impos- sible at present to say just how long the home will continue to exist. It is hard to raise chil- dren and mortgages at the same time. It is quite evident that cooks and chil- dren are gradually disappearing. This greatly simplifies the problem, In ail probability the race of the future will be divided into two — those who, having b come worn out looking for servants, are now in dr sanitariums being taken care of by the government, and those who still continue to work for the trusts, unincumbered by ba- Tom Sasson. WHAT A BORE SO- CIETY Is! Mrs. Caterby (just moved to the suburbs) —* Don't you think the people here are aw- fully slow 2" Caterby—« I'm too busy to notice.” Mrs. Cater by—“ Why, really, my dear, it’s hardly worth while living beyond our income to associate with ther THE RESTAURANT GRAFTER. Warer—"'Sorry, sir; but we can't serve you." Patron—" Why not?” Warer—"'The boss says you tackle the free nch on the way in, order a plate of wheat-cakes, ik up the Worcester and the olive oil, use three napkins, pay ten cents, hit the free lunch on the way out, and then tell people the place is on the pig. it is. It's on to you.” classes bies or bank-accounts, ASSISSTED PATERNALLY. 66QO YOU and your wife eloped 2” “Yes; but I have since had reason to believe that her father bought the ladder I used and put it beside the house, where he knew I couldn't fail “Since you became a poet you wear your beard frightfully long.”* “Yes. I found there's no short cut to fame.’ to see it.” as a barber's sign.” comicbooks.com