Judge, 1906-12-22 · page 17 of 48
Judge — December 22, 1906 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This piece satirizes Victorian women's tendency toward elaborate, excessive accumulation of domestic goods and notions. A woman reports a lost handbag to a railway office, then proceeds to list its contents in exhaustive, almost absurd detail—Hamburg edging, lace insertions, ribbons, steel buckles, embroidery silk, dress shields, and on and on, culminating in a "very handsome damask towel." The satire targets both female consumerism and the verbose, ornamental speech patterns associated with genteel women of the era. Her meticulous cataloging reveals how much of her identity and daily concerns centered on accumulated textile goods and sewing supplies. The small accompanying cartoon "Palmistry" offers a separate joke: a palmist reveals he knew a man was "hugging" a woman simply by reading his palm—a cheeky double-entendre playing on fortune-telling's dubious claims to hidden knowledge.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A TABLE OF CONTENTS. By J. L. HARBOUR. HERE was a rustle of silken skirts and a delicate exhalation of something that told of sachet-bags in her be- longings, as she came up to the win- dow of the receiver's ottice in the street-railway building. “1 came,” she said sweetly, to make inquiries about a small hand- bag I feel quite sure that I left on the car when I left it about two hours ago. I had been down town, and I very carelessly got off the car and left the bag behind me. It is a small hand-bag, not more than six or eight inches long, and perhaps five or six wide, Indeed, one could hardly call ita bag. It is of stamped brown Russian leather and—has such a bag been left here since two o'clock ?" “No, madam ; no hand-bag of any kind has been left here this afternoon.” “Do you think it is likely to be left here ?” “It may, and it may not. If it was still on the car when the car reached the end of the route it should come in here some time this afternoon ; but it is possible that some one picked it up and kept it. You sure you left it on the car 2” “Oh, quite, quite sure! 1 remember distinctly that I opened it after I got on the car to look at some Hamburg edging I had pur- chased. If I leave my card and a description of the contents of the bag, to prove that it is really mine, will you notify me if it comes in at any time 2" Twill, madam, * Thave them right here on my card, the bag. it was, as I say, very much smaller than the ordinary hand- bag, and it had in it—let me see if I can remember. 1 know that I can name cnough things to prove that the bag i It had three yards of inch-wide Hamburg edging and two yards of torchon lace in- sertion and two yards of quite narrow ecru lace and a yard and a quarter of pink chiffon and a yard of India silk for a litle bracket lam- brequin and two yards of inch-wide blue taffeta ribbon and a yard of red velvet ribbon and a yard and a half of quite wide grosgrain rib- bon with Dresden china figures in it that | got ata ribbon sale and some narrow pink velvet ribbon for a stock and two small steel buckles and six small lace medallions—I suppose you know what they are, and a rhinestone buckle and a package of hairpins and a pair of gray Fos- ter kids entirely.new and another pair of white kid gloves I was going to take to the cleaner but forgot them and a spool of gray silk twist and a card of hooks and eyes and a pair of rubber dress-shields and three little doilies slightly soiled reduced from fifty cents to nineteen cents each on that account and six skeins of yellow embroidery silk and an envelope full of dress-goods samples and a box of assorted pins and a large black helt-buckle and a small wing to put on a hat I am plan- ning to trim myself and two yards of white elastic and a pair of long black silk taffeta gloves and a corset-cover and a dainty little china pin-tray I got at a mark-down sale and three yards of navy-blue chiffon veiling and a small coin purse with three or four cents in it and a very very handsome damask towel with the initial «Hin the corner and a card of pearl buttons and six quite large steel buttons and a shirt-waist What is the name and address ?” Now, as to the contents ot mine. @Q PALMISTRY. Miss pe Sty.e—"| was waiking down the road with a palmist last night and we met George and Martha in a carriage out driving.” Mr. Guneusta—"' You did!" Miss pe Sryte—"" Yes: id what do you think, the palmist told me that George had been hugging Martha.” Mr. Gunsusta—" How could she tell Miss ve SrvLe—‘* By the lines In Martha's hands.”* set and a pair of fine black hose—ladies'—and—let me see, is that all ? I suppose I have mentioned enough things to identily the bag even it there are some things in it I have not mentioned ?” « You have, madam.” “Yes; [suppose so. Then if you will notify me I will call or send—I forgot, there was a yard of white nun’s veiling in the bag and half a pound of burnt almonds, Funny I forgot them, for they are my favorite candy. As I say, it is a small brown Russian leather bag and—I remember now that it also had a small pair of scissors in it and six pairs of shoe-laces—ladies'—and a pearl-handled glove-buttoner. I wasn't really shopping and I ¢hink that was all.” And when she had reached the door she turned and added, “Tam not sure, but I think that there was also a small bottle of pulsatilla pellets in the bag and another one of camphor tablets. [ al- ways carry the tablets to take if I feel that Lam catching cold. They break it right up if-taken in time.” And she was gone. comicbooks.com