Judge, 1906-12-08 · page 14 of 16
Judge — December 8, 1906 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising with light satirical content**, typical of Judge magazine's format. The main satirical piece, "A Plaint of the Times," mocks the over-exploitation of literary works in the early 1900s. It personifies a "dramatized novel" and "novelized play"—spectral figures complaining they're exhausted from constant adaptation between stage and page, rushed into production for new stars. This satirizes the era's trend of rapid cross-media adaptation and commercialization of literature. Other brief humor items include wordplay about jubilees (a Scottish woman defines it as what happens when "the mon's dead"), honeymoon tunnels in Gibraltar, and an anecdote about a Boston woman's etiquette obsession. The **bulk of the page consists of advertisements** for whiskey (Sunny Brook), bitters, soap (Pears'), pianos, and patent medicines—standard Judge revenue sources. These ads reflect Gilded Age consumer culture and class consciousness ("Pears' is found in good society").
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
In the Home or Business Circle Underberg BOONEKAMP Bitters Is Tovatuabie, At Alt Dealers! ICyou drink champagne because it’s good, You're sure to drink the * Brotherhood.” But if you drink it for a bluff, ‘Then imported is good enough. The wine says the rest. MISS INCOGNITA:: or, An Exper 1 yeu ant to know the fet, addr Pears’ A soap is known by the company it keeps. Pears’ is found in good society, everywhere. The use of Pears’ Soap betokens refinement. ‘Scented, or not,as you refer, LY FIRST. ‘combined, world: Intending purchasers of a STRI CLASS: Pa or Piano and Sell-Pi should not fail 19 examine the merits SOHMER . PIANOS SOHMER - CECILIAN™ Inside Players, ich surpass all oth Catalogue mailed on application. SOHMER & COMPANY, New Yorn. Warerooms: Cor. Sth Ave. 224 St. SD ISAACTHOMPSONS EYE WATER A PLAINT OF THE TIMES. As I dream, lounging safe at my fireside, | The cheerful glow warm on my cheek, Two figures of spectral appearance My solitude suddenly seek. They are crying for help and for mercy, So overworked, weary, are they ; One sighs, “I'm the dramatized novel One pleads, «I'm the novelized play ! * Alas ! I'm so weary, so weary !" The plaint sadly {ails on my ear; “ With one eye on the stage am I writte Of the press, Iam just hardly clear. When off | am rushed to rehearsal To pave for some new star the way. Ah, pity the dramatized novel ! ‘And likewise the novelized play !” “But see me,” this came from the other, A tailor-made suit for a star, On the press flung with fall of the curtain, On my book crest a sinister bar! Ah, pity us! Rest sorely need we ! ‘And the plaintive tones slow die away Ot that overworked dramatized novel And that hardly used novelized play ! —Baltimore American, will find Mrs, Winslow's Soo Dest remedy tor their children. ayca bottle. CONCERNING JUBILEES. A writer in Harper's Weekly, in the course of some reminiscences of the days of Queen Victoria's jubilee, recalls the following conversation between two old Scotch women which was overheard one day on a street corner in London : “Can ye tell. me, wumman, what is it they call’a jubilee ?” “Well, it's this,” said her neighbor. When folk has been married twenty- five years, that's a silver wuddin’; and when they have been married fifty years that’s agolden wuddin’, But if the mon’s dead, then it's a jubilee.” The superiority of the Sohmer Pianos is rec- ognized and acknowledged by the highest musical authorities, and the demand for them is steadily increasing in all parts of the country. KISSING TERRITORY. Patience—" There are over seventy miles of tunnels cut in the solid rock of Gibraltai Patrice—* What a place for a honey- moon trip, to be sure !"—Exchange. SHE WAS FROM BOSTON, “I shall never speak to him again, peclared. “ What has he done ?” “He told mg yesterday that he had | dreamed he and" had. been wrecked ‘on | a desert island.” “Well, it was only a dream, you know.” “Yes ; but if he had possessed true po- liteness he would have dreamed that there was a chaperon with us."—Record-Her- ald. | * she | A LOST OPPORTUNITY. Jonah looked up from the market re- ports. Well, well,” he muttered, “if I'd known whalebone would ever reach $15,- 000 a ton that old spouter I traveled with wouldn't have got away so easily.” And he heaved a sigh of regret.—Plain Deater. | AN UNDERSTUDY. “ Have you got a job, Sam ?” «Yes, sah.” “ What are you doing 2” “I'm an understudy, sal “ An understudy, Sam 2” Y | + But have you ever been called upon to take her place 2” “No. sah ; [hain't got dat far yit, sah ! —Yonkers Statesman. Don't go to the shoe-store for a pair of pinchers.—Philadelphia Bulletin, you do drink, d, ink Tri yen \\ MbIan wl "Merry have we met, Menry have we been, Mery may we part, Green Label. AT ALL FIRST-CLASS DEALERS sour rroratsrons WHITE, HENTZ & CO. ¥ 4 New York GREAT FIND. Auto priver—‘* What would | have done without my horn if | had not run across these geese?” —London Punch. 500 Dollars Pe alty 1 and imprisonment for not more than two years is imposed by the United States on any person who shall re-use or refill a bottle of our Rye or Bourbon Whiskey without = = removing and destroying f States Treas- ury Depart- ment’s Green Stamp. SENATE wine OF CAmTOW_ 8. ny Broo TRAIGHT serait a ae ets sacar dmesg ease ere, tetht os Stery bottle o wae Saersinion of Gov't Oitciats Senay Sree the omly wotshey sverded Grane Geta Medal ot St. Louis World's Pele. Por eale every RoUNNY BROOK DISTILLERY CO., Jeiterson County, Ky. comicbooks.com