Judge — December 1, 1906 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED WEEKLY 225 Fourtm Ave.,Nexw Youx. Caste Apparss,“Jopcann.” Tet. 2214 Grawzncr. Wasrexx Apvextisinc Ori —1313 Hartford Building, Chicago, Mt TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. ‘One copy, one year. or s2 numbers ‘One copy, six months, or 20 numbers = = One copy, for thirteen weeks FORE! The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States ant Great Britain. SUBSCRIPTIONS—To Eurorean sates-acenrs—/ntermational News Company, Bream's building, Chancery Lane, EC London: Brentana's, Avenue de’ Opera, Paris: Saarsach's News E: the Curistaas Juoce. Il foreign countries in the postal union, $5.30 year. Tocludi nee, Mains, Germany, Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and Digorousiy prosecuies. CONTRIBUTORS must inciose a stamped and self-addressed ertvelove with all manascrints, otherivise neta of the Latter when found unavailable cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and alt contributions sent to the Art Department should have the sender's full name and adiress written plainly on each and every sezarate shetch. The accompanying joke or descrivtive letter-press should in ébery instance be writien upon its indtoidval picture, and NOT upon a separate slip of paper. Inclosure of stamos to the full amount of postage (s also required, 0 tasure safe and promot return of material not accepted. 1 JUDGE cannot be found at any news-stand, the publishers will be wader obligations if that tact be promptly reported oa postal-card or by letter. WANTED—A LEGAL BOSS TO RUN US. ECRETARY BONAPARTE’S scheme for a legalized boss comes at the right time. It is generally conceded that the boss must go. On the other hand, it cannot be doubted that we, the American people, will feel very lonesome without him. For who, pray, will boss us if we cast off our bosses? The secretary’s notion ap- pears to be that if we bring the boss out into the open, clothe him with sufficient powers for the job, and let him boss pub- licly, and boss us entirely, we would feel more contented and satisfied. In these quiet times, after the election tumult, and before the next great strife begins, we ought to reach some conclusion about this matter and have the question settled. Mr. Bonaparte thinks that a boss for each state and a boss for each county and city should be set up and charged with the responsi- bilities of nominating our candidates and running our politics. Then, if anything goes wrong, we know where the blame A further advantage of the scheme would be in supplying a tar- get for the popular wrath from time to time. Nowadays, when the people get mad, they fire away in their frenzy without aim or reason. Some mighty good men get hit, and more of the wicked escape. With a legal- ized boss this would all be simplified. Instead of shooting wildly at the Rockefellers, Ryans, Belmonts, et al., the people could rise in their might and hang the legal boss and go back to their work with a contented spirit. F IT cost Mr. Hearst $80.000 to lose the mayoralty of New York and $260,000 to lose the governorship of New York, one is appalled at the thought of what it would cost him to lose the Presidency. eee THE awful ravages of the murderous hat-pin go on. Pennsylvania man is the latest victim. The law forbids men to carry revolvers, but no effort is made to stop women from carrying these deadly weapons. SINCLAIRITES SHUT OUT IN THE COLD. UPTON SINCLAIR'S experiment in socialism seems likely to disap- point the fondest expectations of the people. We thought that all our problems were about to be solved. And lo! it seems rather that they are to be added to. Helicon Hall, as a name, appears to have hoodooed the ven- ture. Frankly, we do not see how any altruistic enterprise could stagger along under such a verbal handicap, We disclaim any intention to magni- fy a mere incident of the colony's origin when we say that the dispute about who should enter it and who should be shut out appears to us to go to the heart of the whole socialistic proposition. We imagine, if the people were to agree to have all things in common and to live in brotherly peace, that a violent quarrel would break out thé moment the scheme got under way, because every last person-in the bunch would begin to play for ome special advantage in the general layout. It was. entirely natural for Mr. Sinclair and his followers to take up the question of eligi- bility at the very threshold. The few who got there first were naturally eager after- ward to let in only those who were agreeable to the first-comers. So goes the world, socialism or no socialism. belongs. CONNECTICUT cows, according to a veracious correspondent, have taken to chewing tobacco. The farmers fear that they will next be- gin to smoke cigarettes. . OOR BONI was accused on twelve separate counts. Mrs. Anna, it appears, discovered that instead of marrying one man she had mar- ried twelve sorts of a count. E HAVE received from Samoa a copy of the O le Fa’ a tonu o le Kolone 0 le Unaite Seite + Tutuila ma Manu’a, We thank the editor, and will ugtenopez/(62-bis16Udhaipwo-. SINCE Pittsburg has won out over Chicago in the kind of advertising Chicago used to get, the city by the lake has been forced to resort to Hence that $10,000 press-agent. Te GET elected to office, according to recent market quotations, you must spend all the way from nothing to $17,000. To get defeated comes higher—say from $12,000 to $256,370.22. COLORADO WOMEN OUT OF POLITICS. '(OMAN-SUFFRAGE in Colorado has failed, we are told, and no more women will be allowed to go to the legislature of that state. Neither the men nor the women took to the female campaigner, and the mingling of the sexes in the halls of legis- lation seems to have run up against preju- dices that are imbedded deeply in our fallen human. nature. Coming at a time when the theory of woman-suffrage appears to have gained some notable recruits, not only in this but in other lands, we con- fess to’ some uncertainty as to what the signs may mean. The principle of equal- ity, irrespective of sex, is undoubtedly growing in the public mind. If that prin- ciple, wherever tried, is to incur the hos- tility of both men and women, it would seem to be another case of a good theory that won't work. The statement is the cause of jeers, as a rule; nevertheless we venture it again, that the women themselves, the majority of them, don’t care a hang about voting. . new schemes of publicity. AND now New York is called a“ greedy, engorged, loathsome stomach.” One M. Gorky got up this appellation. I" IS rumored that objections will be made to the seating of one Mr. Smoot in the United States Senate. This is serious, if true. S WE understand it, the co-eds of Northwestern University object to “ segregated grub,” but we don’t understand just what segregated grub is. THE total wealth of the country has now reached the splendid total of $106,881,415,009. As we figure it, that would give to a family of seven about $10,000. Will the United States Census Bureau please communicate with us? THE statement having been made that Peary and Wellman are engaged in a race, it should be added that just now they are not racing for the North Pole, but for the New York publishers and first dates on the lecture- platform, comicbooks.com