Judge, 1906-11-24 · page 12 of 16
Judge — November 24, 1906 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertisements and short jokes** rather than political cartoons. The only illustrated item is a small horse-and-rider logo for "Hunter Baltimore Rye" whiskey. The text content consists of: 1. **"Winter Miseries"** — a humorous poem about a furnace operator unable to satisfy quarreling household members' temperature preferences 2. **"Coals to Newcastle"** — a joke about a condescending gentleman trying to educate a rural man about telegraph wires, only to learn the man is actually a telegraph lineman (ironic reversal of assumed ignorance) 3. **Various brief jokes** on topics like champagne snobbery, gratitude, bank robbery, and memory The advertisements promote patent medicines (blood poison cure, stomach capsules), whiskey, shaving soap, and railroad service. The humor is gentle and domestic rather than political—typical light entertainment for Judge magazine's general readership.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
BALTIMORE THE WHISKEY OF REFINED TASTE Sudge WINTER MISERIES. The furnace fire ’s started now And trouble has begun, For it is dithcult to suit The whims of every one. Elvira thinks it is too hot— You know, she’s rather stout— While Eunice'says, « I'm freezing cold ! Don't let the fire out.” Maria wants the damper up And Mildred wants it down. Whichever way I fix the thing I'm greeted with a frown, Oh, I shall welcome with a whoop ‘The advent of the spring, And when the winter is all gone Nison - Yor guarantee ff purity, see back \abel oneverybdiiies Wats WM I'll cheer like everything ! —Somerville Fournal. w'a Sooth= 1 Mra, Win - ase a bottle, Mothers wi y tor their chil ing Syrup the best COALS TO NEWCASTLE. A benevolent old gentleman brimful of information saw a rustic sitting on a fence, gazing earnestly at telegraph wires. Go- ing up to the countryman, he said, “Waiting to see a message go ‘long, eh? The man grinned and said, “ Aye.” The benevolent old gentleman got on the wall, and for the next quarter of an hour tried hard to dispel his ignorance. “Now,” he said at last, “as you know something about the matter, | hope you will spread your knowledge among your mates on the farm.” * But [ don’t work on a farm,” replied the rural citizen. hat al) Aeatctasa cafes snd by Jodbere, ATLA ATAN etsO arene seek HENRY LINDENMEYR & SONS PAPER WAREHOUSE Noa. 2, 4, and 28 Branch Warchous, 3 hie Ifyou drink champagne because it’s good, You're sure to drink the " Brotherhood. But if you drink it for a bluff, Then imported is good enough. The wine says the rest. A man’s gratitude is always at its best just before you do him a favor.—Ex. CAPSULES BLOOD POISON FOR MORE THAN TWENTY YEARS. we have made the cure of Blood Poison a apecity, Permanently Cured. fou can be treated at home under and pains, Macous Patches im Mouth, Sore Throat, Pimples, Copper-Colored Spots, Ules Ht Eyebroy COOK REMEDY Co. 1480 MASONIC TEMPLE, Chicago, II, U. S. A. ROMEIKE’S fr fs teas Seren cu ou areas senha Ta Bie tare dei tence hee ee oe 100 Haway Romance, 33 Union Square, N. Y. | Exchange. “ Where, then, may I ask ?” “Me and my mates are telegraph line- illi ’ Shaving wiams Soap imparts to the skin that smooth, healthful, refreshed feeling which only a pure, antiseptic shaving soap can give it. It is ‘The only kind that won’t smart or dry on the face.” ‘Wittams’ Shaving Sticks and Shaving Cakes sold V illiams’ Shaving Stick or a cake of Laxory Sha THE J. B. WILLIAMS COMPANY Dept. A., Glastonbury, Conn, jerywhere. Send 4 cents in stamps for a Soap, trial size. (Enough for 60 shaves.) men, and we are testing a new wire." — Cocktail! Remember. never at its best with- ‘out Abbott's Angostura Bitters. found a gold nugget in his appendix. | dy?” These searchers will go anywhere in the mad race for gold.—Baltimore Sun. GREAT HELP. THEY FOUND THE GOLD. Knicker—"\s he an intelligent cad- Colorado surgeons cut a man open and Bocker—" Yes; he can hand out the proper cuss word for each stroke."—Ex. INFERENCE. “Pop !* + Yes, my son.” * Did you ever rob a bank 2” « What are you talking about, my boy ?" | « Why, ma said you spent one summer in Canada."— Yonkers Statesman. A WONDERFUL MEMORY. “Yes; he's got the greatest memory I ever heard of.” Yes 2” “Yes. Why, he can remember the names of the presidential and vice-presi- dential candidates on the Prohibition ticket in 1904."—Catholic Standard. DISCOURAGING, «Five months ago I started out with a five-dollar hoss. Sin then I have swapped critters sixteen times.” “*An’ worked up to your present ani- mal ?" | “To my present magnificent animal. Wor'll ye gimme fer him?” | “Four dollars."—Courier Journal. ADDITIONS TO ‘*‘ AMERICA,” After perusing some recent proposed additions to “ America,” the poet of the Cleveland Leader suggests tacking on the following verses, which have a Michigan | flavor : We love thy ponds and « cricks,” We love thy politics. Thy Standard Oil, Thy southern lynching belts, Thy Germans and thy Celts ; Thy Teddy Roosevelts, Oh, native soil ! I love thy Kokomos, Hobokens and Cohoes, Thy Pittsburg, too; Thy Hackensacks and, yes, Chicago's dirtiness, And een, I must confess, Kalamazoo ! “THE 20TH CENTURY LIMITED”’’ Fastest Long Distance Train in the World, 960 Miles in 18 Hours, Via the “« America’s Greatest Railroad” ‘This magnificent train is equipped with Pullman cars of the very latest design and has all the special features which have made the New York Central service so deservedly popular. Barber, Fresh and Salt Water Baths, Valet, Ladies! Maid, Manicure, Stock and Market Reports, Telephone, Stenographer, etc. A dozen other fast trains between NEW YORK, BOSTON AND BUFFALO, DETROIT, CLEVELAND, COLUMBUS, CINCINNATI, INDIANAPOLIS, CHICAGO, ST. LOUIS, the West and Southwest. C.F. DALY, Passenger Traffic Manager, New York. comicbooks.com