Judge — October 20, 1906 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE EDITOR'S CHAT. (From Anyold Magazine.) LTHOUGH the present number of Anyold Magazine is the greatest we have yet given our family of three hundred million odd readers, we herewith announce that the issue for next month will We know you will wonder how we can go on beating our own best, but you don’t have to, unless vou want How we can go on making our- urpass it in every way. you know, selves look silly is our secret. We are glad to announce that Horatio Well- ington Smythe, the well-known author of that tiful poem, ** When Baby Rocks the Cradle,” h made such a hit in our February number, has written an “The Worll's Great Poets" for our next issue. You, perhaps, did not That's why we antsberry of article on know he had made such a hit. tell you now. Theodore R bar contributes the most startling piece of fiction that this season has brought forth, under the title of “Three Screams at Midnight.” Mr. Sants- berry’s tale is mysterious, poetic, romantic, ex- citing, and a delightful love-story, and we feel proud of it, though we admit we have not read it. Besides these features, there are stories and articles by such well-known and popular authors Love, Reginald Percival Siviter, Mrs. Dullwater, and many others. nzi- as Harry G. AH We wish to congratulate our readers in hav- ing such a cargo of good things coming to them next month! next issue of Anyold Magazine will undoubtedly be about the best thing in its line that has ever been put on the market! It’s an awful thing to put out such a grand piece of work, knowing that we have got to beat it the next month, But sufficient unto the day, you know, ete. A DISTINCTION WITH A DIFFERENCE. ¢+ GODFREY, tell me; which is proper—tooth-brush or teeth-brush. Now, think.” “ve always said tooth-brush, but [ think I'll say teeth-brush hereafter,” was the thoughtful little fellow’s reply. + Well, which would you say—nail-brush or nails-brush 2” Godfrey argued similarly, and decided in favor of « nails-brush.” Pursuing the matter a step further, the father said, ++ And which would you say—hair-brush or hairs-brush ?" This was too much for the son of the house. said, looking at that gentleman's bald head, +1 shall say hairs-brush ; + Well, papa,” he but if | were you I should say hair-brush.”* HE slug; of a pointer, xl can go to the ant, but the bee would give him more Tian JUDGE'S FAVORITES, SYLVIA LYNDEN, STARRING IN * The stars that shine above at night Are quite successful, most folks say. Like you, each shines with its own light That is, it stars in its own way. POPULAR REFRAINS FOR FAMILY USE. Model" Everybody Works but Father.” VERYBODY works but mother. She sits around all day Reading and talking nonsense, passing the hours away; Getting up stuff on Ibsen, taking in guff on Shaw— Everybody works at our house but my ma-maw. Everybody works but brother, sophomore he at Vale ; Nothing to do all day long but just keep out of jail ‘Taking a course in yelling, studying to be a ‘sub"— Every body works at our house but my old bub. Everybody works but sister. Sister’s a sort of Squidge, Morning, noon and evening playing the game of bridge. Breakfast, dinner, luncheon, back to the game again— Everybody works at our house but Sister Jane, Ever) body works but auntie. church, Talking about the neighbors, out on a scandal search ; Filling her soul with worries o'er other people’s biz — Everybody works at our house but my Aunt Li She spends her time at Everybody works but baby, yelling from morn till night, Smashing our brand-new china, skinning the cat on sight ; Poking his mother’s eyes out, pulling his nurse’s nose— Everybody works at our house but pinky-toes. Nobody works but father. He goes to town each day, ‘Trying to earn the ducats, family bills to pay ; Has to walk to the station, dodging the butcher-man— Nobody works at our house like my old man. ‘WILBERFORCE JENKINS. HER OWN Way.”” AN ESSENTIAL. +*CIR.” says the eager visitor to the wise old man, + number of people who are going to club together in a dinner. Each person is to take something for the dinner. Naturally, each per- son wiil take that which he or she thinks will be the chief feature of the repast. Now, what I want to do is to take something that every- body will want—something that will make the dinner a huge success. What shall it be 2" The wise old man thinks for a moment; then, turning back to his books, dismisses the querist with the words, + Take a good appetite.” Iam one of a TAPERING OFF. N OUR frend's table we observe numerous bottles labeled ++ ani- line,” +3 acid,” ++ formaldehyde,” ++ horacic acid,” + pulver- ized sawdust,” + extract of chicory,” ete. Noting our look of wonderment, he explains + You see, I grew so accustomed to eating the old-fashioned nods, my wife not being a cook, that since the new pure-food laws have yone into effect | have to dash the proper adulterant into cach rod, cutting down the supply little by little. It would have been too great a shock to leave off everything at once.” WHEN A FELLOW WISHES HE HAD NEVER BEEN BORN. Being at the rear of the procession, he pays five dollars to get up nearer. But—what's the use? comicbooks.com