Judge — October 20, 1906 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Fount Avx., New Yous. Caste Appaess, Wastaan Anvernisine Ornice— 1373 Llp» Me i be 1 sates-acents—/atermational News C The contents of FUDGE are protected by c the U CONTRIBUTORS must inciose a stamped and self-asiressed entveiove with DPAWINGS and af descrivtive letter-press should in every insure safe and prompt return of material not acc ihations sent to the starce b manuscrints, otherwise Decartment should have the sender's full name ant asivess Written plain Men upon its indevidwal pictare, and NOT upon a senarate slip of paver. f ——— ————<— FP ASS SS SN 5 PUBLISHED WEEKLY JoupcanK.” Tez, 2214 Gramznor, riford Building, Chicago, Uk. TERMS TO SUPSCRIDERS: UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year. or sanumbers- + se = the Cwerstatas Ju foreign countries in the postal anion, $4.50 a yea mndon : Brentano's, Avenue de l' Opera, Suaréach's Infringement of this conyright will be promptly and Digoroasly prosecuted. turn of the Latter when founs unavailable cannot be guarante (on each and every separate sketch. The accompanying joke or Unciosure of stamos to the full amount of postage is also required, to 11 JUDGE cannot be found at any news-stand, the publishers will be under obligations if that tact be promptly reported oa postal-card or by letter. THE TROUBLES OF THE HON. “FINGY ” CONNORS. 'HE TROUBLES of “ Fingy’ Connors increase. Coming from Buf- falo, where so many great statesmen have bourgeoned, this statesman had a right to expect rapid progress toward national eminence. On the contrary, somebody seems to have picked all the roses out of his path and left only the cruel thorns. The Hon. “* Fingy " does not claim that he was much at the beginning. Greatness generally dates back to merely nominal beginnings. His special grief is that Buffalo statesmen generally get somewhere, while he has Kept going without arriving. He appears to be nothing more than a sort of private- wire connection between the house of Mur- phy and the house of Hearst. As some- times happens between partners, the busi- ness of this enterprising firm has not gone on harmoniously. To change the meta- phor, the Hon. “ Fingy,” as near as we can make out, is a sort of flagman standing alone out on the tracks, waving his signal of danger and trying his level best to prevent the Hearst and Murphy trains from bumping into each other. ié © WHAT a reversal of records these frothy political times are bringing forth! Kentucky colonel, for instance, is exploiting a bottled spring- water. wae \ATHINK of being governed by the Eceming Journal.” exclaims the New York World. Not any. We are trying to think pleasant things these days. oe Gotham employs 60,948 per- And yet they wonder HE POWER of the pay-roll in politics! sons receiving salaries of $57,068,253 a year. why the Hon. Murphy is trying to hang’on. ‘THE SCHEME TO WATCH CONGRESS. E NOTE with some concern the new political enterprise which takes to itself the designation of “* The People’s Lobby.” It is proposed to organize the faithful muck-rakers of the land and post them on the steps, in the corridors, aisles, passage-ways, exits, and entrances of the capitol at Washington. These lynx-eyed spies will watch congress. Of course, when congress finds that it is watched, congress will cease to do wrong and begin to do right. In short, we have here noth- ing less than the prospect of a congress tamed, domesticated, innocent and lamb- like. Congress as a spectacle ceases. “Uncle Joe” becomes the Hon. Joseph Cannon. When he wishes to indicate what a success the United States is he will blandly remark that the United States is quite a success. For the better part of each year the newspaper correspondents have a lot of fun guessing what congress is up to. A world-of mystery resides in an executive sessian, and the committee- rooms are so many-“‘caves of the wind” from which mystifying zephyrs blow out over the world. This will all be done away when The People’s Lobby takes hold. For our part, if congress is to be made perfectly good, we would almost as soon see it abol- ished altogether and have done with it. GOVERNOR CHARLES E, HUGHES—Not yet, but soon. THe pure-foodists tell us white sugar is not pure. We balk. It’s another scheme of the ‘* yellows.”” PITTSBURG Humane Society objects to a hive of bees in a man's win- dow. Cruelty to animals, you know. eee UITE a little water in New York state politics this trip. There is that $101,000,000 canal job, for instance. BROTHER TAFT is still on the job. Perfectly wonderful what a quiet- ing effect that man has wherever he lands. ys ABOUT time for the richest man in the world to get himself lost again. We have come to expect this much from the yellow newspapers with regularity. IT’S A GOOD IDEA— PUSH IT ALONG. BREWER PABST of Milwaukee is said to have given each of his chil- dren one million dollars to see how the responsibilities of wealth would There is a suggestion here of such unique worth JUDGE would be willing rest on their shoulders. that we would like to see it applied universally. to accept a million dollars at any time just to see how he would stand it. Here is the most satisfactory plan we have seen for arranging an entente cordiale between the millionaires and the people. For our part, we will engage to give the plan a thorough test if Mr. Rockefeller, Mr. Carnegie, or any other well-to-do person cares to under- take to finance a test case in which we are to play the star part. It would be neces- sary to keep a diary and set down faith- fully each day just how we were bearing up under the responsibilities of a million dollars. Next, we would engage to speak well of our partner in the undertaking and forego all muck-raking activities in his direction. If the effect in a single case would be to restore cordial relations between the rich and the poor, it is easy to calculate what the effect would be if the experiment were made general. Class bitterness would die out. The millionaire would be welcomed in the best society everywhere. It’s a bully idea. wee SO IT'S costing Cuba $25,000 a day to be “intervened”? No wonder Cuba is getting peaceable! i % YOUNG Mr. Rockefeller says “it is the man who is fit whom the world wants.”” Doesn’t he mean “ fought’? NE PROMISE fulfilled! ‘+1 ain’t no speech-maker, but you will find me on the job,” declared the Hon. ‘ Fingy ” Connors. se THE world is going mad. Dr. Forbes Winslow says so. From what we see going on around us in politics, we guess Dr. Winslow is about half right. Zs ae ME. HEARST has a pretty poor opinion of people who are not for him. So far we understand that he has called Judge Parker a“ cockroach, Charles A. Towne a “rat,” District-attorney Jerome a “ croton-bug.”” Wonder what he thinks of Hughes by this time? comicbooks.com