Judge — October 13, 1906 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED W. 225 Fourrm Avr., New Yous. Canux Appress, Westexx Abvexnisine UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE Feworeas saves. The contents of JUDGE are protected by conyright in both the United States and Great Britai CONTRIBUTORS must inciose a stamped and self-adtsressed en S and all contribations sent to the Art Dear should in every instance be w f material not accepted. descriotive lette insure safe and promot retur Yenice— 1 Tr ts.00 = 28 135 "4 News Exchange, Mains Infringement of this conyrigh will be promptly and digorously prosecuted. ter when found unavaitatie cannot be guaranteed. niv on each and every separale sketch. The accompanying foke or Inciosure of stamos to the full amount of postage is also required, 10 1 JUDGE cannot be found at any sews-stund, the publishers will be under obligations if that fact be promptly reported on postal-card or by letter. MR. HEARST’S HUNT FOR BIG GAME, WHEN a man goes after a thing we like to see him land it. There is exhilaration in watching a fox run down a hare or a hound run down the fox. It is with something of the hunter's thrill that we contem- plate the triumph of Mr. Hearst in capturing the Empire State Democracy. The New York editor has been gunning for this particular game for a long time. The chase has been as tireless and method- ical as the sleuthing of a bloodhound for his prey.. It is hardly creditable to the i telligence of the old-line Democrats that they affect to be surprised at the outcome of the hunt. They should have heard the baying of the hounds long ago. They should have known the chase was on. Outsiders could have told them months be- fore the Buffalo convention that the victim was under the paw of the pursuer. We have no doubt that Mr. Hearst feels elated over the attainment of an object he has cherished so long. And we venture to say that this elation is not a whit less because of the certainty of his de- feat in November. On the contrary, he must fervently hope that he will fail of election. Mr. Hearst is too shrewd a man not to see the value of a near-victory and the risk of the real thing. His motto might well be, “I care not who gets the offices so long as I can run for them.” THE “we-point-with-pride”” and * viewswithealarm season is over. Thanks! bie! SOUTHERN colored man couldn't get a railroad sandwich, and yet he kicked. Why? HAT is the constitution?” asked the judge of the naturalization court in the town where Yale University sheds light. “It’s a big stick," promptly replied the applicant for citizenship. He got his papers. ‘TEXAS WOMAN RUNS FOR CONGRESS. JUDGE presents his compliments to La B. Payne, the Texas woman candidate for congress, and hopes she will land the job. Having ex- hausted the possibilities of novelty, we take it that nothing is left now for congress to do, if it is to continue to furnish amusement to the nation, but to admit the women and make itself a sort of co-legislative arm of the governs ment. From the present outlook, the next congress will be all Republican, all the good reform things will be accomplished, and there won't be enough wickedness left to keep a body awake, thatis, unless we can get up a little excitement and land a score or more of women in the national capital, The spectacle of a congress partly com- posed of ladies presided over by Uncle Joe Cannon is refreshing and enlivening to the imagination. There is nothing in the constitution forbidding this honor to women, and there is nothing in the consti- tution to restrain Uncle Joe from presiding over such a congress in his usual virile fashion, If the speaker should be seized with a desire to state what a success the United States is, there might be some difficulty; but the women members would soon get used to Uncle Joe’s colloquial style and enjoy it. oo AND in the midst of it all we read, “ Ex-President Grover Cleveland has gone fishing !”” ; LOOKS like Uncle Sam’s benevolent interest in Cuba might cost him a few real dollars—yes? BROTHER MCCLELLAN promised that he would not vacate the may- of’s chair to run for governor. He's kept it. 66 GHALL the Democratic party die?’ wailed the New York World for days. Why does it not come out now and admit it is dead? Cockran and Hearst and Murphy Wat get-together days are these! All except Grover. He went and Bryan and Mack and Connors! fishing. HONESTY is not dead. New Jersey man gets. pay for a soda he sold sixty years ago. No; honesty is not dead—and advertising is cheap if you know how to work it. AIDS TO THE TEMPERANCE LECTURE. EW DEVICES for the more effectual forwarding of great causes are springing up out of the ingenuity and experience of the people. Tem- perance reform, for instance, has lagged because of the shop-worn methods of propaganda in vogue. By the merest accident a Chicago woman has hit upon a scheme which puts vigor and originality into the temperance lecture. This woman went about the city on the very prosaic task of finding rum in unli- censed places. She collected samples, and in due course appeared before an audience to lecture upon her favorite theme. It occurred to her that she would burn a bit of the liquor to show her audience the in- tense nature of the fluid. She applied the match, and lo! the stuff exploded, boiled, hissed, turned red, blue, yellow, went out with a bang. A Cl named Harry Ging signed the pledge at ‘once. The lesson of this is obvious. The old methods have failed. Everything that is done to-day calls for a new way, a novel feature or something to give originality and timeliness. It developed later, by the way, that the Chi- cago saloon keepers, knowing of the lady’s search for evidence, prepared samples especially for her case doctored with kerosene, gasoline and other inflammable substances. wee ND WHERE now are all those good candidates Judge Parker saw? Yea, where is Judge Parker? rs almost a shame the way they are working the “deadly parallel” on Brother Hearst. It’s so easy! . F IT goes on the way it’s going now, the next thing you know the Democratic party will get itself arrested and locked up. Have vou noticed that, after the bank-wrecker has returned from his hurried trip to foreign parts, he generally excuses himself in the fol- lowing stereotyped fashion : “* | wasn’t alone in the job?” comicbooks.com