Judge, 1906-09-15 · page 5 of 16
Judge — September 15, 1906 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical poems and cartoons typical of Judge's turn-of-the-century humor. The top illustration depicts a domestic interior scene, likely satirizing home life or social pretension, though specific figures are unclear from the image. The text sections include poems like "A Domestic Situation," "A Warning," and "A Good Scheme," which mock contemporary social behaviors—ineffective servants, indigestion from eating "The Jungle" (Upton Sinclair's exposé), and marrying off daughters for financial security. The three comic strip panels at bottom show a "Tired Rufus" character (appearing to be a racial caricature) attempting to catch what appears to be a runaway animal or person, reflecting the period's problematic humor conventions. The "Recent Inventions of Merit" section satirizes absurd patent claims circulating at the time.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SOME RHYMES OF THE ‘TIMES. THE PRESIDENT, NNO: Remevelt will not run again— Be not solicitous. Just let him sit tight where he is And leave the rest to us. A DOMESTIC SITUATION. The housewife, bothered by her cook, When told she should not fidget, Replied, “I'm willing to stand pat. But blest if I'll stand Bridge A WARNING. Poor Mr. Snooks devoured books, And liked them past all question ; But when he tried + The Jungle,” died, Alas! of indigestion. THE CAREFUL 1 . Soak staggered to the Midnight Bank With sundry other gallants, But no one there would cash his cheque Because lie'd lost his balance. A POSSTMILITY, If Hearst is ever President, Now, can't you hear him bellow, “Ili, painters! hither with your pots And paint this White Hor A GOOD SCHEME. ‘Sortror—""| see Mrs. Crosspatch has married that oldest boy of hers to her maid."* Mrs. Snortrop—"' Well, well, well! To what extremes people must go to keep their help these days!"* © yele OVERHEARD IN THE ART-GALLERY. HEY were making the usual round of exhil + Oh!" he ex- claimed, *+do look at that beautiful + Apollo Belvedere’! she returned. verybody SOME RECENT INVENTIONS OF MERIT. BAR-TENDER in Denver has patented a new cocktail which is said to be harmless. A few dashes of liquid rubber serve to in- sulate the stomach of the drinker from the deleterious effects of the ry concoction of this nature. A New York flat-dweller has taken out a preliminary patent on an iron bar, three feet long, with spikes on the end, which, when promptly used on the head of an impudent janitor, will silence him for a period varying from one week to eternity. Music-lovers will rejoice in a new clothes-wringer shortly to be placed on the market, which will wring clothes and at the ind out selections from popular operas of the day. The Parsifal Wringerola,” and will cost five dollars On A New Haven tailor has applied for a patent on a pair of eee es hired men’s trousers. The seat is made of buckskin and con- tains four invisible percussion thumb-tacks, with the points run- ning inward, thereby making it impossible for the wearer to sit he should be working An ingenious old maid of Waltham, Tennessee, has taken out a patent on a collapsible sofa, which, by the pressure of a button, will cave in amidships throw a bashful young man at one end into such close jons. Don't say ‘dear’ so loud. ‘U know we're just married.” ord A GOOD CATCH. Z NO 2 ™|TREsea ss. Ss nett pag same time g It is called down wi 1, Tireo Rurus—' Say, mistah, kain't yo" gib a po'r stahved cullud niggah one ob dem melons?” and PROFITABLE. S\VAS her summer board- Ww g-house profitable ?” “You bet it was! Her guests bought so many cra ers that every grocery-store in the village paid dividends.” VERY TRUE. BEFORE the infant indus- tries merge into trusts they ought to be spanked and proximity with a willing young lady at the other that he can- not help coming to time if he has the slightest spark of true manhood in him, AMENITIES. Fireman —« V'm_ policed to meet you.” Policeman—" Oh, you go put to bed. 2. Generous rarmer—"Sure | can! Catch!" to blazes!" * A MISUNDERSTANDING,. 66 NJO, BOBBY,” said mother ; ‘it is not right ‘To whine or cry or pout. An angry boy is a shocking sight— I don’t want one about. Now, when you're angry don’t scream or roar— Twon't have growls and grunts. You may go to your room and shut your door, ‘And stamp your foot just once.” When next Bobby felt his temper flare He flew to his room and put, With most extraordinary care, ‘A postage-stamp on his fout ! CAROLYN WELLS. 3. Tire Rurus—"* Yum! Dat melon sartainly am luscious! comicbooks.com