Judge — September 1, 1906 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MERELY. ALPHABETICAL, RTFUL Algie at the seashore Agnes’ hand essayed to win, And he slyly stopped to see her As to bathe she waded in. “ Ab, delicious!” murmured Algie. “ Any man for such a prize Ardently might fight four rivals All at once and twice his size.” Bary bards can always write Better at the dead of night, Being then devoid of care, Bound by nothing, free as air. Blowing smoke and sipping tea— Barred are beer and eau de vie— Deauteous thoughts can poets think, Dowling up on quarts of ink. Could you, if you had a million Cool simoleons in cash, Calm yourself and be contented, Caring not to cut a dash? Come, now ; tell us—if you had it, Cool and fresh and bright and green— Crowing loudly, wouldn't you, si Cut a gash in skies serene? WILLIS LEONARD CLAXAMAX, ADVERTISING, “Oo joment, madam, if you please, cried the heavy-set_man, arising in the convention of women's clubs. +1 beg that you will permit me to say one word as toa crying evil. [am overjoyed to see you ladies so boldly attacking the wickedness of our country; but I beg to call your attention to the insidious, atrocious peekaboo waist. I can- not find words to express my opinion of it, Why, Iam informed that to-morrow morning the firm of Jiggs, Jaggs & Company will throw on their counters several thousands of these immodest garments at the ridiculously low price of a dollar each! I beg of you to take some official action on this crying evil. Thank you very much for your at- tention.” The heavy-set man then left the convention. the store of Jiggs, Jaggs & Company, he might have been seen in the private office of Mr. Jiggs, taking another order for a car-load of peek- aboo waists and receiving congratulations on the popularity of his Next morning, at JUDGE'S FAVORITES. MAUDE ADAMS AS NAPOLEON IN "* PETER PAN.”* When we think of ail the horrors That that Frenchman man did do ‘We wish the great Napoleon Could have been a man like you, Peter Pan. For then the “Little Corporal " (If he'd beena man like you) Would have fought a blocdiess battle ‘And sure captured the whole crew At Waterloo. THE OLD LADY AND THE ‘TICKET-AGENT. r WAS a little rural station in the mid- dle south. The ticket-agent was not an intellectual giant, but he held the job and connected with the pay-car regularly once a month. Enter a little old woman, fidgety, confused, scared at even so much grandeur as the rural station exhibited be- cause it was all new and strange to her. She looked about the room inquiringly, then approached the ticket-window and said anxiously, «Say, mister, is this the place where you come to to know where you have to go to?” The ticket-agent saw only the humor of the situation and got gay at once. «Yes, ma'am; this is the place you have to go to to see where you come from,” The little old lady hesitated, then steadied herself and fixed a thoughtful, kindly eye upon him, then straightened up and spoke. « Well, then, if you are so smart as all that, just give me a ticket back to the place I come from, please. ** Where did you come from ?” mock- ingly inquired the agent. “I come from a place where gentle- men are not pert enough to make fun of old ladies traveling alone," was the crush- : ing reply. A moment later, acting under a modus vivendi, a ticket to Padu- cah was delivered and duly paid for, and the incident was closed. IMAGINATION. Mrs. Boreing— \magination || What is imagination 2” Mr. Boreing—« It is that faculty, my dear, which makes men be- lieve that marriage is bliss.” ONE LACK, 64 (QROUCHE is said to be a gentleman in every respect.” “Yes; except in the respect of those who know him inti- mately.” weer Conn = oF AN OPERATIC STAR: ‘Tue remae revicaxs—“* Oh, isn't he divine!" comicbooks.com