Judge — August 25, 1906 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ZB Bar oS an a 6s SS PUBLISHED WEEKLY 225 Founrn Ave.,New Yous. Caste Appress,“Jupcarx.” Txt. 2214 Gmamzncr, Wasraxn Apverrisixe Ornice—1313 Hartford Building, Oricage, Mh. FOREIC Evnorean saves-acers—International News Company, Bream's building, jancery Lane, F.C, London Cumastaas Jooer. wreign countries in the postal union, $6.$0.a year. rentano's, Avenue del" Opera, Paris: Saaréach's News Exchange, Mains, Germany. The contents of FUDGE are protected by conyright in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this conyrght will be promptly and Pigorousty prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS mast inctose a stamped and self-addressed enoelove with all manascrots, othefivise return of the latter when found unavailable cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and alt contribations sent to the Ast Department should have the sender's full name and adtivess Written plainly on each and every separate sketch. The accompanying joke or descrivtrve letier-re8s should in every instance be wonitten upon tts indroidaal picture, and NOT oon a serarate si of pacer. Inciosure of stamps to the full amount of postage (3 also required, 10 tnsare safe and promot return of material not accepted. MW JUDGE cannot be found at any aews-stand, the publishers will be under obligations if that tact be promptly reported oo postal-card or by letter. AND NOW Mayor Adam has gone abroad for a little of that “absent treatment.” KUZNETZKT, near Syzran, burned. Probably the work of the mad- dened trainmen, who had to call out that place several times a day. THE HON. HOKE SMITH of Georgia says there is no discord in the Democratic party. és R. HOKE SMITH, by the way, has reached the point in the Georgia campaign where he threatens a Democratic opponent with “ stripes on his back and shackles round his legs.”” No; there is no discord in the Democratic party. ‘THE DEMAND OF THE TIMES IS FOR A GENIUS. THE TIMES call for a genius—not only for one, but for a number. A genius is required immediately to take hold of the political situation in New York State. The Democracy could pay a fair salary to a few geniuses with an earnest desire to make themselves useful. A genius could find an opening right away in mollifying and reconciling the fractious rivalries of such august persons as Mr. William Randolph Hearst and Mr. William Jen- nings Bryan. These two irresistible bodies are moving along parallel lines and heading toward an identical object. A fearful sideswiping collision is inevitable unless the particular genius who can handle this situation turns up soon. So we might go on to any length, pointing out the need. Happily, Professor Lombroso tells us how to recog- nize a genius. The signs are unmistak- able. A genius is either tall or short. He has a high brain capacity and is likely to be excessively bald or excessively hairy. Sometimes he has inflammation in the brain membranes. A very com- mon characteristic is utter contempt for what others say and do. He is just as likely to be absent-minded as not—as Newton, for instance, who one day seized his niece’s finger and began to tamp a lighted pipe with it. A genius either dies young or lives a long time, and unless he is musical himself he hates music. This, in general, is your genius—a person who can do crazy things and keep out of the asylum; make promises and forget them; play himself to the spot light and despise everybody else, and be an all-round nuisance, a scholar, a gentleman, a fraud, and a leader. Those considering the job will kindly look over the specifications, decide if they are “it,” and be governed accordingly. From the present political outlook there will also be a large demand and crying need for a lot of fool-killers before the year is out—but that is another story. AND NOW, each morning, we read of the work of the ice-robbers. THE CZAR is gathering the labor leaders into a little duma of his own in Siberia. WEBEG to remind our readers that diamonds are now up to $4,000,000 aton. Don’t take a cent less. ° eee R. W. T. JEROME is on the bills to raise a popular wave. to be a great year for popular waves. T WAS sure to come. The Hearst boom has been Burchardized. “Noise, Nobodies and Nonsense” is the way it runs. It’s going HOW MR. SHERMAN COULD GET THOSE DOLLARS MOVING. INCE Chairman Sherman has adopted the endless-chain letter device to whoop up the dollar subscriptions for the congressional campaign, and a professional money-lifter had to be called in to get the $12,000 from the plain people to welcome Bryan, it is evident that easy ways to induce the common folks to give up for their own good must be invented forth- with. Some tall thinking has got to be done right off. Modestly, but with confi- dence, we offer the following: A Republi- can league of baseball nines to play match games in all the big cities of the country. The Big Fellows, captained by Taft, should play the Long Lean Ones, headed by Fair- banks. _ Painful experience has taught everybody, from the church down, that even good causes must annex something amusing, like parlor theatricals, oyster suppers, pink teas and picnics, and ball games between the bachelors and bene- dicts, to coax the wherewithal from reluc- tant purses. Our suggestion opens the way for a little diversion along with our politics. Give the people a run for their money. for their dollars. Let them have some fun ‘BETTER TONE in hogs,” says a Chicago newspaper head-line. Always knew some good would result. THAT Sinclair syndicate, antisepticized family project, we hear, is doing fine. _It’s being written up all over the country. T IS SAID the President is behind the Taft boom—and yet Mr. Root gave up a practice of $300,000 per year—for what? 66 WHY RESIGN?” plaintively inquires Mr. Thomas Taggart. Thats what we'd like to know. What difference would it make? so APITAL AND LABOR are both doing —— well. The people are too —— busy to quarrel over the —— tariff. This —— country is a —— of a — success.”—Extract from interview with —-? Only one guess allowed to each subscriber. WHAT THE NEW WOMAN WILLS SHE WILL. THE INDOMITABLE SPIRIT of the new woman is an impressive, cheering, obvious feature of the times. What she wants to do she does; where she wants to go she goes; what she promises she performs. To-day she climbs a mountain in some lonely range; to-morrow she holds up a train on some distant plain; yesterday she took hold of a-bankrupt concern and made it solvent. Mrs. Wilcox of Nebraska (not Ella Wheeler) wanted to teach school. They wouldn’t let her. Did she give up? No. She opened a blacksmith-shop and went to shoeing horses, made more money than two or three schoolma’ams together, and, thus supplied with funds, set out to fight for a place as teacher. This winter she is going to teach! comicbooks.com