Judge, 1906-07-21 · page 7 of 16
Judge — July 21, 1906 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"How the Pelican Got the Best of It"** is a humorous visual narrative with no apparent political content. A wealthy person complains about a pelican fishing in their private preserve; the pelican responds by swallowing the person's sealskin overcoat as revenge—a simple joke about comeuppance. **"Pure Food"** is sharp social satire addressing genuine Progressive Era concerns about food safety. A gaunt man wanders seeking "Pure Food" while being offered bread made with alum and milk with formaldehyde—real adulterants found in early 1900s food. He starves rather than consume poisoned food. This mocks both unscrupulous food manufacturers and the inadequacy of food regulations, reflecting anxieties that culminated in the 1906 Pure Food and Drug Act. The remaining pieces are lightweight domestic humor requiring no historical context. The page illustrates Judge's range: from pure comedy to serious social criticism of industrial-era consumer dangers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HOW THE PELICAN GOT THE BEST OF IT. o Sea-tion—"* Golly! what nerve! That pie-eyed pelican fishing in my private fish-preserve!"* A 2 a 4. Peuican—""1 don’t know how your sealskin overcoat ’s going to agree with me, but I'll take a chance at it just to teach you a lesson." HOW TO MAKE AN ALARM-CLOCK, (Brom ™ Little Steps for Easy Feet”) NY bright little boy can make a nice alarm-clock if he carefully observes the following directions : TO PUT IT TOGETHER. Get the cook to give you an empty tin can. Trim off the sides with mother’s nail-scissors until it is about the size you want it. Scoop the works out of father's watch, being careful not to disarrange them any more than is necessary, and place in the centre. Next take the face from sister's doll and stretch over the top of the can. This will be the face of your clock, Cut the hands from the doll and pin neatly in the centre. THE ALARM. Any fire-engine company will gladly give you an old alarm that has been answered and is of no further use. Place this on your clock. TO START IT GOING, Take your clock up to the roof of some tall office-building and hold it over the edge. The instant you relax your hold the clock will start. The taller the building you start it from the longer it will go without stopping. If you run down stairs fast enough you may reach the side- walk in time to hear it strike. TO REGULATE. If you find that your clock is too slow put a little piece of lead-pipe or something heavy in the next one you construct. This will cause it to go faster. xobxr xUDD wHErING. PURE FOOD. HE shades of night were falling fast As through an American village passed ‘Aman, who carried in his hand ‘A banner with the strange demand, “Pure Food !" His check was pale, his limbs were thin, His chest was weak and sunken in; And from a vacancy ii All hollowly the “Pure In happy homes he saw the light Of range-fires burning warm and bright ; Above, the pots and kettles sh And from his lips escaped a groan, “Pure Food" “Come in and eat,"* an old man said. + We serve the best of alum bread And milk A la formaldehyde." And loud that empty voice replied, “Pure Food !" “Oh, stay I" the maiden called, “and try A slice of hot boracic pie.” Upon his mouth was hunger's dew, But swiftly back these words he threw, “Pure Food!" They found him in the morning gray— Lifeless, unbeautiful he lay Starvation had him for her And at his side the banner prone, “Pare Food !" LW, wowanns, A VERY PROMISING SIGN. The wise son— Oh, paw! I think Helen's young man must be about to ask you for her, n— getting along toward the point where he His father—" Pshaw! 1 don’t believe he has the gumption to even hint that he likes he : The wise son—Well, t noticed this morning that one of the hammock-hooks is pulled out. THE BETTER PLAN. OODILY the bridegroom shakes the rice from his clothing, disen- gages a couple of old shoes from his wife’s hat, rubs te bumps on his head, and regards the labels, tags and other decorations of the trunks. “T suppose they've put up a lot more jobs on us besides these,” he growls. “+ But, dearest,” how much worse it would be if we were royal people in E the populace were trying to assassinate us.” “Tam thinking of that. I'd rather take my chances with a couple of bombs and know that the worst was over." * ays the bride, determined to be cheerful, © think rope and comicbooks.com